h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The first kiss isn't disimilar in it's build up to ridding yourself of that other milestone, the big V, although (to borrow a well worn phrase) it's "not as messy and there's far less call for condoms".

I guess a great deal depends on what you call your first kiss. Is it the first kiss that isn't from someone related to you or is it the first where you kiss with tongues, in which I case I sincerely hope it's not someone related to you.

The first non-family kiss was with one of three girls. Which one I can't begin to remember as I was only 6. They were all my best friends and it would have been unfair to have picked just one so I 'went out' with all three. There was Lisa, Morag, and Susan and we used to play kiss, cuddle and torture in the playground at primary school. How they always knew which of the code numbers was kiss, I'll never know. All very innocent it has to be said.

Shrinking violet that I am and being schooled at an all boys school meant that taking it up a level to the first took some time. Most of my friends had had one if not two or three es before I'd even spoken to a girl usually because I was far to concerned with what people would think.

As it happens, my first proper with tongues smooch was in the company of a group of people I had never met before nor seen since and it took me about as long for snog number 2 to come around as it did for number 1.

The local vicar organised a sailing week in Windemere along with his old parish. 4 boats with 6 on each, interspersed with prayer readings and much tambourine clanging on mountain tops. I wasn't there for the religious experience it would be fair to say but more because I wanted to learn how to sail. At that age I tended to go with what Mum thought and Mum thought it would be fun!

She was 18 I was 14 and quite how it came about I'll never know. We were all siting on deck one balmy evening (rare as they are in the Lake District) and it just sort of happened. We'd all chatting and everyone else disappeared until it was just Emma and myself on deck, beneath the stars. We ed, and then again, and then once more for luck and then got busted by the vicar doing his nightly rounds making sure anyone wasn't misbehaving.

All I can remember is being ecstatically happy for having snogged and feeling like a milestone had been passed and I was one step closer to manhood. We wrote long gushy letters to one another, had another snog fest in Edinburgh and then I went back to school and she to her job and that was that ... For her, it must be said, snogging a first timer with a face full of shrapnel (for yes, I did have a brace) can't have been the most enjoyable experience but then again I'm not complaining.

tongues are nice

I take it you're an Eddie Izzard fan

Mel

How can you tell? ...

Well the title rather gave it away! I'm suprised I hadn't noticed before, you can usually spot Izzard fans a mile off!

Mel

Nothing beats a bit of Izzard although I've yet to forgive him for causing me to write my car off! Was doubled up with laughter at the phrase "If fish lived on land they'd smoke cigars" and didn't notice the car in front braking!

Tsk Tsk, maybe thay should put a warning on the box, don't Izzard and drive!

Mel

Tuesday 6 August
Sally Holloway, Jack Russell, Mitch Benn, Tom Rhodes
Wednesday 7 August
Sally Holloway, Micky Flanagan, Alfie Joey, Alan Cochran
Thursday 8 August
Dave Thompson, Rick Wright, Marti Wilson
Friday 9 August
Simon Bligh, Louis Schaffer, Steve Jameson
Saturday 10 August
Simon Bligh, Fraser Hooper, David Keay, Dominic Frisby

Do any of these names mean anything to you, I've got to pick a night for a bunch of 19-24yr olds to go and see!

Mel

Can't say they do I'm afraid Mel ... where is the venue?

I got confused for a minute - Couldn't decide if it was something to do with Izzard or kissing.

Sorry I topic drifted there!

Cambridge, jesus Green.

Mel

Topic Drift? What here, on h2g2 ... surely you're mistaken!

Still can't help I'm afraid Mel.

Now back to kissing with tongues ... !

Why who you kissing Ekki?

Mel

Anyone of the female persuasion really - noone in particular.

Discerning consumer? That's me

dominic frisby is the only one ive heard of. i think hes an impressionist

Ok, nice to know you're keeping your options open and aren't being to picky!

Mel

In this day and age you've got to take every chance that comes your way ... I used to be far to self-conscious and would wonder what other people thought of who I ed - came to the realisation, albeit relatively recently, that who cares what they think.

Besides, got to keep in shape!

More to the point people seem so much more attractive when you know they're nice people!

Mel

public schools are holes in the old 'my friends pull about a billion times more frequently than me' stakes, arent they?