h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

One sunday morning a vicar tells his wie that the days sermon os going to have a horse riding as it's theme.
'you don't know anything about horses! she protests
It'll be embarrassing i'll wait outside in the car.
Once in church, the vicar changes his mind and gives a sermon on
sx, which the congregation finds intresting,
afterwards one old man see's the vicars wife in the car and tells her what an enthralling sermon her husband gave.
I don't know how! the vicars wife says bemused, he's only tried it twice once before we married and once in the field behind my fathers house and both times he fell off.s

i don't get it
but that is cause i am crying

Oh you wouldn't understand it anyway rcc it's not for you young one's to read but if you want add a joke on my journal you can it might make you feel betters

one day a friend says i wanna be a actrees when i grow older
other friends laugh
person that said feels embarred
the person however auditions for a part in a american show
2 months later the person is a actress
friends be nice and say i knew you would get it
other person gets cake a puts it on there faces
and says "thats for not being supportive"

well that is me
i am not a actress but the first 3 lines are true

That's was s funny.


There was a minor bird called silver and a Rottweiler called jesus
That lived with there owner in a nice house
and one day a burgler broke into the house and went looting through the drawers and coubards and a little voice shouts jesus is watching you the burgler is startled and look's around the house and no one is there he think's he's hearing things and carry's on doing what he was doing looting and robbing the house and the little voice shouts again jesus is watching you and the burglar looks around the house to find out were the voice is coming from and he spots a cage in the front room with a minor bird in and says to the bird oh it was you so you can talk can you little birdie and he starts looting and robbing in the front room this time and the minor bird shouts jesus is watching you the man laughs and says what you going on about jesus is in heaven not alive and carrys on with his looting and the minor bird shouts louder this time jesus is watching you the burglar turns round and says to the minor bird who's this jesus then you keep shouting thats watching me the minor bird says in a little sweet voice jesus is the rottweiler dog standing right behind you
the burglar jumps and runs and the little minor bird shouts i told you JESUS was WATCHING you.

lol
that was funny
ok
once there was this girl
she started asking people if they wanted some flapjacks
they all said yes and gave her money
she said they will arrive tomorrow
but one man did'nt beleive her and gav her fake money
when she gave the money to a flight attendent
he put her in kiddy jail
instead the other man got to go on hoilday

s

lol

Why don't turkeys get invited to dinner parties?

Because they use fowl language.


s

lol
knock know

who's there

boo

boo who

no need to cry it is only a joke

s

Why is a snail stronger, than an Elephant?

A snail carries its house, and an elephant only carries his trunk.


Why was the father centipede so upset?

all of the kids needed new shoes.