h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So, I worked half a day (or about six hours, anyway ) yesterday, and went to see my doctor for my annual tune-up. He inspected all of my bits, drew some blood, checked blood pressure, etc. They're checking my blood sugar and thyroid hormone levels again- which is good, because I've been on a 1200 calorie per day "diet" and have substantially increased my exercise, but I'm still not seeing the desired results. I've had intermittent problems with underactive thyroid, and it runs on both sides of the family.

He also took a look at my nose, which is apparently still quite swollen and contused inside. There's a fracture, and it'll take three to six months to heal completely. In the meantime, I guess it'll just hurt to sneeze.

Looks like the current cocktail of asthma meds (Singulair tablets once a day, and Advair inhaler twice a day) is working pretty well, since I can't actually remember the last time I needed to use my rescue inhaler. A dramatic improvement over that stretch of time during which I was using it several times a day.

So, other than

A rather uprupt ending there! Sure you're okay?

oh dear.... not being able to sneeze....not funny...

funny question: do you like sneezing???

i kinda do.... cant really explain it properly, but i do quite like a good sneeze.... very satisfying

(not meaning to rub your face in it.... pun sort-of intended)

Freud connected sneezing with orgasm.

'Freud connected sneezing with orgasm.'

...i can see where he's cumming from.....

All that phallic symbolism's a load of cock!

Sorry for the abrupt ending- that was on account of the office server going down and not as direct result of my head being all jumbled.

Of course, now I can't remember what I was going to say.

Can't say I particuarly enjoy sneezing. Who doesn't enjoy a good orgasm, though?

Isn't a 'good orgasm' a tautology? I mean...has anyone ever said "Nah. Didn't like that one."? They only (ahem) come in two types - Good and Wowowowowowwowww!!!

Especially if you have an "office server"; presumably this means someone who goes snuffling around under the desks, halting when commanded to.

I would imagine he/she needs extra medical insurance for this job, all that dust & stuff.

zdt

... i suppose, like all things, orgasms are relative. therefore, having had some wowowowowow! types something merely good, would infact be comparitively 'bad'??

non?

It's been my experience that for females, at least, orgasms can vary in length and intensity. Going "wowowowowowowow" for several minutes or more is much nicer than a few seconds' worth.

And then there's the ones you fake, to get it done with, but I haven't had that problem for quite some time.

I've never understood why women fake orgasms. Surely they're shooting themselves in the foot: where's the incentive for their partner to work on their technique?

Have I told you about my friend (ex-Boss), David V, who appeared on 'Kilroy' (note to USAnians: now defunct, Low-grade Oprah-Lite show hosted by an orange fascist) talking about 'Sex and Sexual Satisfaction'. He's a vertically challenged satyr, and he was accompanied by his BBW wife.

Anyway...his brain works about 50x faster than Kilroy's, and he's also the wittiest person I know. His two contibutions to the show were:
"When my wife and I first got together, we were at it like rabbits. But now we've learnt that we have different sex drives, and sometimes I might have to wait a while until she come round to my way of thinking. All evening, sometimes!"

And then:
"You learn that you're responsible for your own pleasure...Let's just say, these days I very seldom have to fake my orgasms."
At which point Kilroy became animated,
"Ah...this is a new topic...are you saying that you fake your orgasms."
His wife reached forward and touched Kilroy gently on the arm,
"He was joking, dear."

I've only ever "faked" with one person- who unfortunately not only was sorely lacking in regards to technique, but in regards to physiology as well. There's no way I could've had a real one- the thing was too small for its presence to be detected. I was only trying to be polite.

Your friend David V sounds like a helluva lot of fun.

I was going to ask you why the hell you were with him in the first place if you weren't attracted to him, but then I recalled that I once gave someone (of a very similar description) a polite blowdry*, so fair enough.


*Just appeasing the censors.

being a bloke it can be pretty hard to fake it.... doesnt mean i havent wanted to a couple times though.....

and i'd be mortified if i found out someone had faked it with me..... why?? i mean?? why?? i dont think it'd be the polite thing to do, better to just shove 'em off and tell em it's not gonna happen.... wheres the problem in that?? mibbie then (if they're any good) they'd try something that WILL work????

And to be fair, it's not like the guy was totally repulsive- other things about him were attractive enough- it's just that his meat and veg resembled a cocktail weiner and a couple of lima beans. I agree wholeheartedly that trying something that would've worked, but it seems some people are resistant to learning. This fella was under the impression he was Good At It. I made it a point not to ask for a repeat performance.

Other than the obvious lack of ejectile fluid, I suppose a fella could fake if he wanted to.

Am I ever glad I don't have to worry about technical problems of that nature any more.

Oh, David V is great fun. He and I are on the same wavelength...but unfortunately it's on a whole different electromagnetic spectrum to most people.

I last met up with him just over a year ago. He managed to slip the word 'steatopygeous' into the conversation, and to his credit was only momentarily surprised when I said "That's a bit smaller than calliopigeous, then". To an outsider, our conversation would have sounded like a series of non-sequiturs and tangents, but *we* realised we were sticking to the subject.

That's a thought. Wonder if he fancies a night out in London.