h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The last week's been pretty eventful (welcome back, and speedy recovery, Terri wooh!) for everyone. Even I have an update!

I'll start a second, separate posting for that, as I'm trying to keep my Uspace relatively clean and make it easier for poor Elton the Ham(p)ster to do his job.

First of all, I'd like to welcome Terri home from hospital. I'm so glad the knee surgery went well, and am hoping for a super-speedy healing and recovery!

Started my new position effective this past Monday, so it was a busy, busy week trying to do all of the stuff I'd been doing while waiting for my replacement to arrive (she starts this coming Monday). I'll be taking on all of the administrative support-type stuff for the CFO and the Controller, which basically means processing, collating, and preparing financial reporting stuff and tax returns. I'll also be responsible for paying all of the phone bills for corporate and for each sales and property management office, and employee cellular bills. Additionally, I'll be cutting checks for purchases of individual homes, inventory and property. Then toss in occasional overflow from co-workers, your basic periodic filing, and anything related to office management (dealing with vendors for office furniture and equipment like copiers and fax macines, etc.). The two guys I report to directly are extremely kind and good-natured, and not at all the micromanaging types.

I may be limited, moving forward, in the amount of time I have to spend online, but I'll be around when I can.

Plans for this weekend include as little actual "activity", and as much rest and relaxation, as possible. I do need to wash floors and attend to a couple of other household chores. And there will be a trip to the music supply store (walking distance from the house, did that work out well or what?) for a drum head or two. Tuffy UK have another show coming up on Friday, Februrary 3, and I'll be able to attend this one (even if it is at Subterranean, one of my least favorite, and one of the most hispter-infested, joints in town), which is nice, since the last half dozen or so shows have taken place quite late on weeknights and I've missed them.

Oh, and last weekend, I finally got the Dali print framed and hung. When I get some photos of the apartment, I'll get the Dali in one of them, then I'll upload everything. At this point, I'll probably just buy an inexpensive digital camera within the next month or two. Then it's on to the region-free DVD player, and to upgrading the hi-fi stuff.

Hope everyone else is having a good weekend? What's everyone up to this weekend?

Awww, thanks for the nice thoughts!

The knee does indeed seem to be recovering super fast; i can see now why the surgeon when he saw me hobbling toward the smoking room less than 12 hours after surgery; he just said "pas de problem, allez!" (You've got no problems: Go!")

Obviously i am not thinking of running any marathons, or indeed actually walking far, it still hurts, but it's a "different" sort of hurt, if you can relate to that. It just feels so good to feel i can actually do some stuff for myself at last; i am not good at doing "helpless little me" stuff!

But: had brilliant nights sleep last night, to sleep without being woken by pain is a grossly under-rated joy. So today i have sorted my plants out. The outside ones have all been killed by frost, it's been depressing me looking at them, so, very carefully, one by one, i brought them in, salvaged the seed pods, forked the soil over, replanted some of the indoor ones while i was at it & re-arranged it all. This has been on one of the famous zendevil Lists for bloody months, so i feel very pleased.

Plus: i made it up the stairs properly, you know, lifting leg up alternately, not like baby steps which i have had to do for the last few months; OK, very very slowly & still have to come down with baby steps, but hell, i reckon this is not bad 3 days post op!

Helen came round & brought me some essential supplies, bless her, dunno what i would have done without her in all this. Send her way for her book to get published so she can stay here all the time & not have to go back to UK to wipe old ladies bums to earn a living!

As for the rest of the weekend, dunno, probably more resting after all this effort, come on here, read a book, try & get paperwork sorted. Monday is a heavy day, i have to try & get social worker on phone, is coming to see me (he squeaks English, so is in for massive grilling poor soul!)and two lessons back to back; i am hoping Maud fancies a nice practical "Let's go shopping in English" one, i am sure she will agree, she phoned me at the hospital & sent email "anything i can do to help, just let me know" Plus Vero, my other student also sent email.Te he, she can have "let's put the shopping away & discuss nutritional stuff lesson" What lovely students i have, i am very lucky.

If viking decides to respond to my calling him; he is welcome to come & visit tomorrow; i am quite capable of cooking a meal (loads in freezer just needs heating up)& maybe he might like to talk more about how he feels about the clinic thing. But if he prefers to sulk or whatever, so be it.He's got plenty of time between now & 13th Feb to give me details of clinic address if he doesn't wish to be completely cut off for 3 weeks. His choice. It seems highly likely (barring another fall) that i will be bounding around by then, so he can just add " bet Terri's out & about & socialising with gawd knows who while i am locked up in here!" to his woes if he wishes.

Alternatively, he can do a bit of advance co-operation & get best of both worlds: the psych help he desperately needs, but still know people are thinking of him "on the outside". When i was incarcerated in the loony bin here, the one thing that kept me going was get well cards from fellow hooters.Plus of course i read a lot, made cheeseboxes, kept an incredibly detailed journal, got my mandolin smuggled in & entertained the other patients, learned a lot of French, taught some English, bartered paintings for stuff i needed, teased Nurse Ratchett, fomented rebellion against the system....but seriously, it is no holiday camp & i am a lot more resourceful than him, definitely more sociable & i still felt totally abandoned by the outside world. i don't think he has any clue about this aspect; you live for a phone call or a card or a visit.

Ah well. He will find out.Abandon friends at your peril matey!

Sunny here today & warm for this time of year, another reason i was determined to sort the sad plants out. I have discovered bulbs sprouting under the dead grot, lovely, Spring can't be far away!

zdt

Well hello ladies!

I'm glad to hear you both have good news. I do to! My grandmother is out of the hospital now. She is understandably a little depressed, tired and feeling useless but she is feeling that way in her own house now! I'm not doing anything this weekend. My cousin wanted me to go to his house this weekend but it's still to hectic around here so I said no. Which turned out to be a good move because he's spending a few days with my grandmother. She has a hospital bed set up where the dining room table used to be because she can't do stairs and he's sleeping on the livingroom couch in case she needs anything during the night.

I finally got to volunteer Thursday which was extremely nice because I hadn't been in over a month. I feel very refreshed because of that. Volunteer work really does make you feel wonderful if you are volunteering for something you're interested in. I'm pretty sore from it too though. I've work all of my mom's shifts for her for the past few weeks because of all the problems we've had so I am extra sore from standing all day Friday. Next time I'll have to wear my knee brace!

Things seem to be looking up lately!

Hooray!

I've been googling the private clinic viking is going to, dear god, how he has managed to wangle this free on social security amazes me! It's the sort of place rock stars go when they are *apply wrist backward to forehead* exhausted.

S**t, talk about a rest cure!!!!

http://translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&sl=fr&u=http://perso.wanadoo.fr/..cliniquevillableue.com/&prev=/search%3Fq%3D%2B%2522%2BClinique%2BVilla%2BBleue%2522%26hl%3Den%26lr%3Dlang_en%7Clang_fr%26sa%3DG

They are going to have trouble dragging him away from there. But it occurs to me, it's all very well going "there, there, dear, you are stressed, here's a nice jacuzzi & lots of snuggly people to pat your head & show you yoga poses, massage you, pamper you, listen to you witter on & say what a lovely person you are"...er...but people often refer to this as a "holiday" for which they have "w**ked" all year round.Probably very easy to do "zennitude" in these circumstances, but are they actually going to equip him with any sort of skills to deal with Real Life, which in my experience is pretty mundane, usually hard work & requires social & communication skills which at times would try the patience of a saint. The rewarding stuff usually comes from friendship or creative things & actually sometimes from w**k also; basically an inner feeling that you are a valued member of society. Not a perfect one, but if deep down you know you try your best, it tends to give you confidence & self worth.(yes, FF, voluntary w**k is great for that!)

He's spoilt rotten at the moment (yes, i am main guilty party!) but surely this will just make him worse? Not advocating a horrible experience in a "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" situation, christ, no! But this seems to me like rewarding him for his inadequacy; i can imagine the scene after "WAAAAAAAAAAhhhh, don't criticise me, nobody was nasty to me in there!"

Maybe i am just a cruel, callous bitch.They do mention something like "socialisation"; which is basically what he needs IMHO.

zdt

That does look rather top notch!

*evil plot*

shall we all book up, so the other 35 inmates are me & all my hootoo mates ""Awww, didn't she tell you? it's a mega meet: welcome, we've heard a lot about you; come share this jacuzzi with us all"



zdt

If he wasn't crazy before he went in, that kind of "socialization" would probably do it, for sure!

Glad to hear you're feeling better today, FF and Terri.

We just back from a wee bit of "retail therapy", with some extra bonus money K got. Got a couple of CDs we'd ordered and didn't get in time for Xmas- A Certain Ratio for K and a Shocking Blue "best of" for me. Also found a DVD of the Romero/Argento film "Two Evil Eyes" dirt cheap, and the brand spanking new Criterion release of the Berman film "The Virgin Spring", which I have been trying to find for YEARS!!

It was exhausting, and I need a nap now!

Hope things keep on going well, and getting better, for all of us!

*signs up for Terri's Mental Mega Meet*

I definately want to go to that Terri! Think of the terror and torment we can inflict!

God yes! Sorry, but i am feeling actually quite vicious tonight; you know me, up & down like a yo-yo!

If you actually go into that site in detail (OK, the translation is crap, but you get the message)it really is a f**king pamper house, jeez, all they need is designer nappies (diapers) in there to convince poor little diddums it's those nasty people in the big bad world who are responsible for him feeling a bit pi**ed off sometimes.

It makes me sodding well seethe. This place was recommended to him as "his only hope" by the shrink he visited ONCE, just once my friends, F**K i could give you a detailed psychological description of this guy from a year's work (unpaid)battling with a foreign language, simply because i do actually care about the guy.

Guess what? This private clinic has, as it's major shareholder: guess who? Yup, the shrink. Guess who gets paid the full going rate if he takes on a patient (oops, sorry, client) who is covered by Social Security? Said patient has to pay umpteen "optional extras" out of own pocket, me have read small print in frog, ho ho, not translated in English version.

I am f**king fuming. He does NOT need 3 weeks of soaking in a jacuzzi & playing cards & trying not to scream 'cos he can't handle sharing a bedroom with someone he doesn't know. He needs solid, sound, sensible advice on how to relearn some basic communication skills (cognitive therapy) & support from people he trusts (who are few & far between)

It has taken him a LOT of courage to seek help & this is at best (IMHO) a total waste of time & at worst reinforces "oh poor little you" syndrome. He is NOT a helpless heap, but is peculiarly inept in social skills & it's a very sad state of affairs that his only possible friends seem to be:

The couple in Dordogne, who seems to just accept he turns up as & when, feed & water him, give him a blanket for the sofa, get him drunk & let him come & go as & when (S**t! Would you let a mate of yours drive 60km drunk at 5am on New years Eve???? I just remove his car keys , no arguments)

Dom; the ex; possibly, though as far as i can tell; it really is just for sex, she won't talk "with" him & her son hates him & demands he stay no longer than one night

Manuela, seems to be a rational femaile, but not interested in more than casual friendship, turns out she is with man & kids

Family: HE has pretty much cut ties with, his fault entirely, they have finally given up trying

And me.

I am seriousy considering trying to wangle an appointment with this shrink myself, sod professional silence stuff; if he is trying to finacially feather his nest at the expense of someone who right now is too bloody daft to see the wood for the trees; he has a sodding fight on his hands. Many many shrinks have been engaged in battle with me & none has won yet.

Many times viking has wept "Oh,i don't need drugs, i don't need a shrink, i just need "true love""; yeah, well, sunshine, it comes in many forms & my type tends to be "mummy tiger"....he obviously will never realise this, but i am possibly the only person on the planet who is fighting his corner.

Viking often accuses me of being violent & yes, i can be; i throw things & howl at the moon & don't give in until personally convinced it's hopeless, in which case i try to do so gracefully with stiff upper lip. But he & many others also say "you are so strong"

Strength can be a form of grace, grace can be a form of strength. Nobody messes my mates around, especially not when they are down.

zdt

Which is why I consider myself blessed to have you as a mate.

I totally understand what you mean about some kinds of "therapy" reinforcing "poor me" attitudes: I've seen it happen in past friends who I've had to let go because I just couldn't cope with constantly being blamed for their "victim" status. (Especially from one selfish tw*t whose worst childhood experience was being made to help with the housework, for pete's sake!)

You're a saint for not being willing to give up on him. I wonder if speaking with his shrink might help? You know how distrustful I am of shrinks to begin with, so I'm not sure that'd be of much help, either, especially not when this arrangement sounds so financially beneficial to said shrink.

Sorry, just the eternal optimist in me, shining through again.

Seriously, though- I'm crossing fingers and toes and everything crossable that *something* gets sorted for him, if only for your sake!

I also think you are very strong, when the sh*t hits the fan... and you do maintain grace under pressure a lot more often than many people I deal with regularly. And you deserve a helluva lot of respect for that.

Look out for an email sometime tomorrow, Terri, regarding some stuff I'd wanted to send you and would like to arrange conveniently for you.

You are both brilliant.

Hey, FF, i believe you are interested in studying psychology, hootoo isn't a bad place to start "all human life is here"!

Te he, you can do a case study on me if you like, it will cover just about every situation you are likely to come across on a psychology course!

"i used to be a lunatic but i gave it up 'cos it just seemed such a crazy idea!"

zdt

Hi Terri!

You seem to be recovering well, excellent! I see your typing fingers are certainly in good health

I just read about Viking going on "luxury holiday", I'm afraid I have to disagree with you there. Of course I can understand your point of view. But I also think, that it might be good, that the clinic he is going to is not like a hospital. It could be a relief to have everything cared for (like in a wellness hotel or something like that) and consequently you are able to focus on the real psychological problems.

I kind of agree with both Susanne and Terri- I might expound later, I dunno.

I'm exhausted today... we spent the afternoon running some errands we'd been postponing for a while. Finally got a duvet for my comforter- a nice houndstooth linen one in sand with a bit of white. Also found a set of flannel sheets on clearance- green with a kind of rust-colored plaid pattern.

Also finally got this coin bank I'd seen and wanted for some time- it's similar to a couple of little loteria boxes I have, with pictures of Jesus and placards reading, in bold text, "Jesus Saves". I've also set aside, for purchase in a few more weeks, a CD carrier case with Jesus in blue jeans, carrying a beatbox on his shoulder. Oh, how I love tacky Jesus paraphernalia.

And we found an incense burner made of ceramic, it's a monkey playing a drum. I also found a packet of Tibetan rope incense lying on the ground in a parking lot- it's a gorgeous scent, not sure which, but I detect saffron and sandalwood!

LOL I buy the most explosively bright comforter and sheets I can find, bright purple with flowers, and you buy the most tasteful, understated one you can find, sand colored with a bit of white. I don't know why but they stikes me as wildly funny.

I think you'll find that I'm generally failry "conservative" in terms of color, especially in clothing. Although we do have the orange monkeys in the bathroom. Seriously, though, it was the only one they had that matched everything and we both liked. And it's likely to be covered, when I need to and can be bothered to make the bed, with either the quilt or the afghan.

That is kind of amusing, though. Especially as the ones I'd seen online were fairly brightly-colored tie-dye sort of things... but the also cost four times as much!

Geo has a t-shirt with "what wouldn't Jesus do"? and he's hang gliding...

I should think hang gliding would be an extremely useful skill for Jesus, all that ascending & descending to heaven & back must get a bit of a pain; "Oh God, not the Second Coming again; do i have to Dad?"

Hmm, Susanne, yes, i know what you mean & i may come across as being harsh on the guy. I would in no way want him to suffer, but honestly, as most of the others will confirm, he has been pampered & cosseted by me for over a year, in the hope that easing as much everyday pressure as possible (and of course adding proportionately to mine) would help him. It really truly hasn't worked; he has simply accepted any nice thing offered to him & virtually demanded other stuff that he sees as his birthright.

Do you know what his last words were when he stomped off last time were?

"You have to lend me your reading glasses while i am in hospital"

"No, i won't, they are a specific prescription for me, i need them, it will damage your eyesight; go & see an optician, you will get eye test & glasses free"

"i don't know where the optician is"

"Look in yellow Pages. You are French, i managed to sort this despite being English & not having a car"

"You are cruel, i never come back"

Sorry, i am not cruel, but am somewhat tired of being his mummy, he isn't prepared to play daddy when I need that on (very) rare occasions.

There is something in the clinic programme about "socialisation skills"; that may well help him; i hope so, but i honestly can't do any more without burning myself out, which won't do either of us any good.

Hmm, duvet cover sounds very nice & subtle, don't worry PC, you can ring the changes each time you wash it by adding a different coloured sock "OOOh look, K! We have salmon pink! Get those paint pots out!"

Have you told these nice people that not only do you have orange monkeys, but an orange fluffy chair & i seem to remember an inflatable that you throw things at?

My place is entirely normal. Computer in its own bedouin tent, fake tiger skin rug on the bed in living room, fishing nets & prayer beads on the kitchen wall, then of course there are all the cheeseboxes....

zdt