h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I looked down the bar, at the bartender
He said, "Now what do you want Johnny?"

One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer

- John Lee Hooker

Gettin' dumped sure ain't easy. Self-pity for a while is OK, it's even an important psychologic mechanism. Crying is OK, and it's just the right mood if you know how to play an instrument.

Ahh... the comforts of an instrument, the whining sound of a guitar, the jagged sound of a saxophone, the fading tones of a trumpet. They'll get you out of it in no time.

The central scrutinizer (in Zappa's 'Joe's Garage') says: 'As you can see...girls, music, disease, heartbreak...they all go together...'

And to end it up, another Zappa quote:
"Beauty is not love;
Love is not music;
Music is the best."

Yours truly,

HELL

Zappa, good call.
The central scrutiniser got a whole lot of things right (BTW, stick on Watermelon in Easter Hay, close your eyes, crack open a beer and lay back and you'll forget you ever had any troubles in the first place)

And:
"I can't wait to se what it's like on the outside now..." Another great moment in Joe's life.

H

Or even Gay Bob, sick lyrics but beautiful music.

Why sick? I like the passage that goes like:

'What about a tiny but exciting little...' You know the rest.

'Gimme dat, gimme dat...' You know the rest.

I think it's hilarious... Truly Zappaesque.

HELL

And somehow it's about 'relationsships'...

Yep, with appliances , and in german too! Though twisted may be a little better than sick, and only to the uninitiated. Why don't girls ever get Zappa?

million laughs...

My wife d'loves Zappa. Albeit the more erudite side. But you're right, she's one BIG exception.

HELL
'but I got dee kreestal ball'

Yeah, my ex thought she liked Zappa cos she liked Sheik Yerbouti, however when I played her Jazz from Hell and Lumpy Gravy she went off it in a big way...
"Who you jiving with that Cosmic Debris?"

My wife's favourite is 'Welcome to the United States' on the Yellow Shark. She also likes the MOI period... BTW, Did you read Zappa's 'The real Frank Zappa book'?


HELL
'Honey, honey, baby, don't you want a man like me?'

I've never got around to getting a copy of it, but have been wanting to read it for a long long time. Did you accidentally buy Dweezil's album at all? It's terrible, really really bad.
I don't have Yellow Shark, BOOOOO! So many albums, so little cash...

I don't really think I have ever heard any Dweezil songs...

The Yellow Shark is not a typical Zappa album, I mean - like as if there were typical Zappa albums - In any case, his orchestral music is as 'twisted' as all the rest of his songs... But you probably know that.

Read his book - if you do it in public, be cautious not to laugh to obnoxiously. When I read it I lost control over myself in some passages. Too funny.

HELL

You're right, there is no such thing as a "typical" Zappa album anymore than a "typical" Residents album. And seeing as I do constantly laugh at apparently nothing in public anyway, I should be pretty safe.
And as to Dweezil, keep it that way, bad 80's-esque toss metal music

Well, just because he's a Zappa, that doesn't necessarily mean he's like 'da man', right?

See you around,

HELL

... The torture never stops ...

HELL

Never was a truer word spoken! And recently it's been because I've been in "a big dilemma about my big leg Emma" and worried about all the Plastic People I have to put up with.

Which brings us to the secret word for tonight:

"There's no way to delay..."

HELL
(citing Zappa has something biblical about it, doesn't it?)

"That trouble coming every day"
Yeah, it does don't it

"Find her finer, sneak up behund her..."

And later on he goes:

"Don't never let her know that you are smart..."

TRUE!

(As you notice I'm currently listening to the best band you never heard in your life. It's a shame I was born one decade too late...)

HELL

Weren't we all, though I remember that album coming out and thinking that I really wanted to have been able to see that tour.