h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have hope for many of my friends. They are trying to do difficult things. Good luck Ant, KM, Justin, Amanda, Krissy, and all the others ventureing forth for better lives.

Thanks hon. Your hope is welcome. It's helpful these days... I'm just trying not to give up. I'm really really tired.

Take a power nap. Remember those? You were given a cot and a blanket and one stuffed toy.

*snoozes*

*cuts up fruit*

Can I have a fig newton?

that's a THING

*prepares to throw the biggest tantrum you've ever seen by god*

No it's not! It's fruit and cake!!

No, it's the cookie of the god. Not sure which one, but one of them would probably own up to it.

what kind of fruit?
real fruit, flat out?
fake fruit, blown up?
polyester fruit in leather pants?
come onnnn...could do with some answers here

I give you, the FIG NEWTON:

http://www.nabiscoworld.com/Newtons/nt_info.htm

All the other Newtons are recent crappy knock-off addition, although the fat-free raspberry ones aren't too bad.

ptang. yes. my grandma used to get something similar when i was a weeish one and i'd take five and dig out all the FIG and roll it all up until it looked like poo and say "I'M eating POO....what are YOU eating?"
those were the days

Did you put it on a stick? Because poo on a stick is much more impressive than just plane poo. And then I bet your grandma would get out the guacamole and pretend she was eating snot... right? right? am I right?

*thorws figs about the room*

Ha!

*runs off with the guac*

are smurfs yellow in the smurf parallel universe?

There is a smurf paralell universe?

*faints*

tis the most exciting place on earth
i'm selling tickets
remember....most exciting place on earth..

I want to know can you actually RIDE the smurfs? Can you make them pull you about on gigantic wagons by your toes?

Because I'd pay for that.

Your nightmares must be really interesting.

*looks haggard*

You have NO idea. No idea.