h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Here are some interesting quotes I've found over the years. Enjoy.

- Nothing is really lost. It's just where it doesn't belong.
- Have tou seen me? I've looked everywhere...
- When you understand why I dismiss all other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- A best friend is like a four-leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.
- Nobody's perfect until you fall in love with them.
- I wasn't born a bitch, men like you made me this way.
- When I first met you I was afraid to like you. When I liked you, I was afraid to love you. And now that I love you, I'm afraid to lose you.
- I have breasts, I can have anything I want.
- Did God create Man or did Man create God?
- People who drink to drown their sorrows should know that sorrow has learned to swim.
- Love is an overused word.
- Love is highly overrated, as is breathing.
- You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same.
- Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so live your life with the times and have the time of your life.
- Remember the north,
Remember the south,
Remember me and my big mouth.
- When in doubt, duck. When certain, don't bother 'cause you're already screwed.
- Charles Dickens caught the Devil stealing Charles Dickens' chickens. "What the dickens!" said the Devil. "What the Devil!" said Charles Dickens.
- Imagination and memory are dependent on one another - without one, the other is impossible.
- Reading is knowledge.
Knowledge is power.
Powwer corrupts.
Corruption is a crime.
And that is why most of the population is illiterate.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted,
then
used against you.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Pardon my driving, I am reloading.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial costs and
blamed it
on the high cost of
living.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone
would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those
who
got there first.

Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

Shin: A device for finding furniture

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12
people
that weren't smart
enough to get out of jury duty.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
until
you hear them speak.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F19585?thread=154729&skip=0&show=20 For quotes and more quotes... Tube PS: Welcome to h2g2! :-)