h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A661240

Heed my message or suffer the consequences.

This is Peer Review. Do you really think this entry needs to go into the Guide? You can write it as an unedited guide entry if you like. Campaigns on h2g2 don't go in the Guide. Think of the Guide as something a bit like an encyclopaedia.

question: are creamed onions really something worth to be eaten? Are you talking about the same sort of cream which goes well with and ?

Well, anyway, how about checking the http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/writing-guidelines ?

As things are now, this one is rather suited for the AWW, I'm afraid

This thread really should be moved I'm afraid... this doesn't belong here at all... though I know a few people who also hate onions, I am not one of them.... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm onions

I second that move.

Thirded. This should really be a personal space rant.

Editorial Note: This conversation has been moved from 'Peer Review' to 'The Alternative Writing Workshop'.

Hello, good evening, and welcome,

This is not an official e-mail and I am not an official anything. It is just a slightly adapted version of something that I have sent to a couple of people here to welcome them when they may feel that being forcibly 'moved to AWW' is a step in the wrong direction. I don't necessarily agree, so here we go:

Hello Tom MR

Didn't stick to the ol' guidelines, eh? Tsk! They don't like that kind of thing over on PR. Fear not though, there are those who don't feel that 'edited guide entry' are the only words that give an article here on h2g2 authenticity. Don't feel that your article has gone down in the world. It has taken a step sideways into the rather different climes of AWW, where you may find it is in rather better company than it was next door.

Not to say there's anything wrong with being 'factual', 'neutral', 'balanced' and 'informative'. Nonetheless, they are not the be all and end all in life, the universe and the other thing. Weird and wacky are both perfectly respectable words, as is silly (although it doesn't begin with a 'w', so it is clearly at a disadvantage compared to the first two).

Your 'manifesto' is a cry in the wilderness; a call to arms (well, cutlery maybe); a rallying cry for all those who suffer in silece in front of this bulb-based aberration. That kind of political commitment is rarely going to gel with the h2g2 guidelines but it has other qualities that I think merit *somebody's* attention. I think this kind of thing is often appreciated by many researchers here who don't want to read an encyclopaedia but have some fun.

Anyway, you have laid out your aims to a community named after some of the funniest books of the past 25 years only to find that they want you to be deadly serious and packed you off to a workshop.

Don't Panic!

For one thing, they haven't locked the door. Furthermore, you are very welcome to the place they've packed you off to.

---------------

Having said all that, I don't really ob-*ject* to the *ob*-ject of your attack and I am actually rather partial to creamed leeks, which I fear may leave my credentials in some doubt as a suitable campaigner for your movement.

I quite enjoyed reading it though.

The only constructive criticism I have just now is to say that I think you could afford to flesh the whole thing out a bit. I personally feel there is considerably more comic potential in a piece like this. Up to you, of course.

Oh yes, and I don't think it is a good idea to eat "both eyeballs", or else you won't be able to see what's on the end of the next forkful! If you eat one at a time, I wonder how long it takes the other one to grow back. Surely not more than a couple of weeks? Hmm.

Seeya
Spiff

"A call to cutlery"

'Its been 18 months and he ain't shown yet' - the author seems to have left the building.

I am unsure whether this is UG material, or whether it should be moved to the Flea Market. So I am not doing anything as decisive as proposing that it is moved. But I am giving my fellow Miners the chance to read it and make their own minds up.

Ben

He's back . . .

Sincerely,
Lord Voldemort

Great! Really excellent!

Ben

Hi Tom,
That was entertaining but then I like rants about small inoffensive objects. I do think, like spiff, that you could make more of this.

I'm not sure what creamed onions are. They sound like pickled onions but the last thing I'd associate them with is cream.
Waz

Slice some onions and gently braise in melted butter until they are soft. Add flour and mix to a roux, then slowly add milk and cream stirring all the time. Allow to simmer for ten minutes, stirring gently, but do not let it boil. Season with salt and pepper, and serve as a vegetable dish with steak or other meat dishes.

a cook called Ben

.
I think I've just been won over to the cause . Those do not sound like good things to do with milk and cream. Although I'm sure that if it's to your taste it's very tasty.

Hard to connect sliced onions and eyeballs though. Tom?

Waz

To be fair creamed onions do sound nasty. I hope my canteen at work doesn't ever hear about these, because they love stuff that has a slimy texture. Especially spinach.

On your entry I think you could make a bit more of it - what could happen to the unwary consumer if they should digest this stuff? How did you first get to try this culinary delight?

Sprout

Well, I make delicious creamed onions!

a slighted cook called Ben

It wasn't that hard to make the connection at all. The onions I am directly referring in this instance are pearled onions, which are not ordinarily cut. And by the way, I'm may very well be people who can make 'delicious' creamed eyeballs, but that doesn't mean I want to eat them.

Sincerely,
Lord Voldemort

It wasn't that hard to make the connection at all. The onions I am directly referring in this instance are pearled onions, which are not ordinarily cut. And by the way, there may very well be people who can make 'delicious' creamed eyeballs, but that doesn't mean I want to eat them.

Sincerely,
Lord Voldemort

I really enjoyed this article, personally. A little instant of pleasure in a dull world. Such passion!