h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If that guy calls me "hen" or "pal" or "doll" one more time I think I'm going to blow my top. I'M 24 YEARS OLD YOU IDIOT, NOT 10!!!!!!!!! I want to scream.

As if my job isn't awful as it is already

Ok duck!

Clearly if he considers 'hen' a suitable form of address for a young lady, it would only be fair to refer to him as a 'cock'.

I'm not sure he'd appreciate being called a cock and would probably take it the wrong way, but then that'd be his problem, not mine

Is it just me though? I hate people who don't use my name, people who don't know me well enough to get away with calling me anything other than the name my parents gave me

Excellent point! Ask him sweetly if he minds, fords!

Milla

Seeing as "hen", "pal" and "doll" are all generally Scots terms, perhaps he wouldn't mind being addressed similarly. "Bawbag" is one that springs to mind.

I don't mind it, but then growing up in Derbyshire it's more or less a given that you will be called 'duck' on a regular basis.

People call each other cock in east London all the time!
"How are you, me old cock?"
It's rhyming slang cock sparrow - marrow (which I believe, in the north east, is still used to describe a partner to someone or something - as in "I've foond one sock burra canna find it's marrer!"

Is said bloke much older than you, Fords?

He is, yes. He also refers to me as "the wee lassie" or "the lassie". I feel like telling him I'm not a f*****g dog

or the female version!

When I was young and an apprentice I had the problem of a much older man at work calling me "sir". I felt really awkward all the time and had to ask someone else to tell him to stop. I later found that he wasn't being overly grovelling or anything - he called everyone sir, (I guess slightly ironically for some people). Now I can see that I shouldn't have been so upset by it, but I do remember at the time that I felt really upset by it.

Mrs Vestboy calls everyone "beautiful" which really cheers some people up! "Hello beautiful," she says to people in the office. It often gets a smile - especially when the person in question is feeling the opposite.

Maybe I'm too cynical, but if I was in a foul mood and someone said that to me it'd make me worse!

Would any greeting make you feel better?
*takes out note pad and pen*

You could try using my name

Awww.. Don't worry, doll. I bet he didn't mean anything by it, he might just be that way to anyone. So cheer up a bit, cupcake, and gently tell him to shut the up with the name calling and call you by your own name instead. And of course, that name is 'fords' with a lower case F.

I don't like pet names either. I've chosen a perfectly good name for myself, so please bloody use it!

Keep your hair on sweetie.

It's different if you know someone well, then I don't mind a pet name (within reason). Imagine his face if I said to him to call me fords

*takes notes*

*imagines*

my pet hates are love (as in awright love)n babe..as well as sandy or sarnmaybe we're just too fussy..