A Conversation for Sleep and Teenagers

A619652 - Sleep? Yeah, Right

Post 1

Lonnytunes - Winter Is Here

The nocturnal habits of the common teenager

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A619652

A replacement thread for an earlier one that I bungled.

Yawn


A619652 - Sleep? Yeah, Right

Post 2

Mikey the Humming Mouse - A3938628 Learn More About the Edited Guide!

It might be worth noting that sleep deprivation can also mimic or exacerbate fibromyalgia.

smiley - smiley
Mikey


A619652 - Sleep? Yeah, Right

Post 3

Lonnytunes - Winter Is Here

Mikey, noting that the throngs of teenaged h2g2 Scouts have managed to ignore this article over the last month or so since it was first posted, I would imagine explaining that fibromyalgia is a syndrome characterised by chronic pain in the muscles and soft tissues surrounding joints, fatigue, and tenderness at specific sites in the body and that it is also called fibromyalgia syndrome, fibromyositis or fibrositis, would not improve the chances of them reading and recommending said article any day soon smiley - winkeye


A619652 - Sleep? Yeah, Right

Post 4

Mikey the Humming Mouse - A3938628 Learn More About the Edited Guide!

smiley - winkeye You may be right, but you're making me feel like an old fogey... smiley - tongueout

Well, it's on my mental list of things to think about when my next picks come around....

smiley - aliensmile
Mikey


A619652 - Sleep? Yeah, Right

Post 5

il viaggiatore

Ok, right off the bat, your subheading says "the nocturnal habits of teenagers" which is not what the article is about; it's about "the importance of sleep to teenagers." The current subheader would lead one to think the article was about reading porno magazines under the covers with a flashlight.
Also, maybe you should list some common reasons for not sleeping enough, perhaps the aforementioned reading?


A619652 - Sleep? Yeah, Right

Post 6

Lonnytunes - Winter Is Here

il viaggiatore, as with juvenile diurnal mammals such as the Peruvian degu, teenage females are rarely (if ever) found perusing porno under the bed covers. You may be better informed than me about the current nocturnal habits of teenage males.

I've dumped the tag line and renamed the article "Sleep and Teenagers".

Loony


A619652 - Sleep? Yeah, Right

Post 7

il viaggiatore

I don't understand the Peruvian Degu joke. I feel I should, because you mention it in the article, too. Maybe you should explain it.


A619652 - Sleep? Yeah, Right

Post 8

Lonnytunes - Winter Is Here

It's a throw-away line. A bit of fun. It is used to help break up an otherwise pretty dry piece of prose. Taking into account modern-day teeangers short attention spans, every aid helps.

As mentioned in the article, at a conference on teenage sleeping habits, a paper, 'Adolescent Trends in Delayed Phase Shift in Rhesus Monkeys', also discussed the habits of the adolescent degu.


A619652 - Sleep? Yeah, Right

Post 9

Cardinal Noah (is now back!!!)

it's good! smiley - biggrin it's, ahem , made me realise that maybe i should be getting some more sleep! on a weekday i usually get about 7hrs but last night i couldn't get to sleep for some reason, so i'm still up at 4am! i'm not looking forward to school today!


A619652 - Sleep? Yeah, Right

Post 10

il viaggiatore

"As this Researcher always says, you only have to look at the circadian rhythm of a juvenile diurnal mammal such as the Peruvian degu (Octodon degus) to realise how important sleep is to adolescents."

Here you set up the reader, saying that the circadian rhyhm of such an animal can provide insight as to the importance of sleep, but no explanation follows of what that might be. This really breaks the flow of that paragraph. Mentioning something most people know nothing about, then failing to descrbe it and its relevance detracts significantly from the readability and authority of the article. If you want to make a joke on the other hand, you need to make sure people get it, otherwise it's not funny.


A619652 - Sleep? Yeah, Right

Post 11

Lonnytunes - Winter Is Here

Aaah, comprehension by the masses, that elusive beast, sometimes known as "dumbing down".

il viaggiatore, just because you don't "get it", doesn't make it wrong or undesirable. If you care to check out some of the other yarns of mine that have been accepted for inclusion in the Edited Guide, you will find they all include touches of humour. The readers and editors at h2g2 seem to like them that way.

Incidently, over many years involvement with education institutions, all the best lecturers I encountered leavened their courses with touches of mild humour. Maybe it's a "New World" thing.

And of course the point of the early degu reference is clarified further down.

Loony


A619652 - Sleep? Yeah, Right

Post 12

il viaggiatore

At first I thought you were taking little veiled stabs at me: I am a member of the masses (something no one ever wants to be), and so can only comprehend dumbed down things; I have no sense of humor; I am entirely unfamiliar with lectures. Besides the fact that all of this is quite untrue, thatI have never been stupid and have worked as a lector myself, I found that your post is self contradictory.
Humor requires a successful conclusion to the joke you are making; nobody knows what a degu is: your joke doesn't make sense.
Of course it's not wrong. You can do what you will with your article, I'm simply trying to explain the point of my earlier post.
And only found two degu references and the second refers to the first, which in return refers to something you always say. This is an "inside joke" then? Do you really want to include something that only people who know you will understand?
I'd like to see what others think, but dread the results of such a poll. I've never won a popularity contest.
When you write an entry for an Encycolopedia you are writing for the masses. If you call the proccess of clear writing "dumbing down" you only insult yourself.




A619652 - Sleep? Yeah, Right

Post 13

Lonnytunes - Winter Is Here

The brains behind h2g2 would be horrified to hear it called an encyclopaedia. It is the Earth edition of humorist Douglas Adams' body of work, The Hitchhikers Guide To the Galaxy, a book/TV series/set of records/play/computer game/towel which began life as a BBC radio series

I have linked my article to the discussion paper that features the Italians, monkeys and degus. In the final wash, whether the line survives or not is down to the Edited Guide's editors.


A619652 - Sleep? Yeah, Right

Post 14

il viaggiatore

Ok, now I get it.


A619652 - Sleep? Yeah, Right

Post 15

ViceChancellorGriffin Keeper spelling Mistakes and Goldfish

Like it espeshly the bit about the enternal clock and the school day smiley - smiley


A619652 - Sleep? Yeah, Right

Post 16

il viaggiatore

The spelling in this last post has put everything in perspective, Loony. My apologies.


A619652 - Sleep? Yeah, Right

Post 17

ViceChancellorGriffin Keeper spelling Mistakes and Goldfish

smiley - sadface sorry smiley - sadface


Thread Moved

Post 18

h2g2 auto-messages

Editorial Note: This conversation has been moved from 'Peer Review' to 'Sleep and Teenagers'.

This thread has been moved out of the Peer Review Forum because your entry has now been recommended for the Edited Guide.

You can find out what will happen to your entry here: http://www.h2g2.com/SubEditors-Process

Congratulations!


Thread Moved

Post 19

Lonnytunes - Winter Is Here

Splendid news. My thanks to the Scout who exhibited impeccable taste in choosing it

Loony smiley - biggrin


Thread Moved

Post 20

Dancer (put your advert here)

Welcome smiley - smiley

Congradulations smiley - bubbly

smiley - hsif
Dancer


Key: Complain about this post