h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In the woods grew two trees, one a birch, one a beech. They grew next to each othe for many a year. One year a small sapling grew up between them.

The birch tree said to the beech tree, "Is this my son, or yours?"

The beecht tree respondes, "I don't know. Let's ask the Owl, for he is a wise animal."

So they send for the Owl. When the Owl gets there the birch tree says, "we don't know whose son this sapling is. Can you help."

The Owl thinks for a moment, and says, "I don't know, but I know one who would. Send for the woodpecker."

So they send for the wood pecker.

The beech tree says to the wood pecker, "We don't know whose son this sapling is. Can you help?"

The wood pecker tastes the sapling, and looks thoughtful, then tastes again. He turned to the two trees and said, "Pappa Beech, Pappa Birch, this tree is neigther beech, nor birch, but it is the finest piece of ash i have ever tasted."

shagbark laughs. At least I know it's not a baby shagbark.