h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

if you ever post suicidal posts on here, you get a visit from Auntie Beeb, who recommends that you contact your gp or the samaritans. This may help some people, but not others.

For instance myself, I have been depressed since 12, suffered from ptsd since 18. Major breakdown in 1999 and now am disabled due to all the above.

My only support is my husband. Due to not working I have no income of my own. Due to a fear of authority figures, I cannot deal with benefits people. I am very aware that if something happened to my husband I would only have one option.

My only friends are here, I cannot go offline and talk to anyone else, because there is no-one else. Sometimes I get filled with dspair, generally I am not suicidal, but only want this present situation to end/change. I often express this is suicidal wishes and this can be intrepreted as suicidal thoughts, but it isn't.

I need somewhere to articulate my absolute despair though. So I come here. All I need to know is that one person is lstening. I know they cannot fix this, but just to know one person has taken the time to understand and say hi, makes all the difference and helps me to begin to lift my despair.

The last time I felt like this, Auntie Beeb came and suggested the usual. This tipped me into anger, I feel this is dangerous. Auntie Beeb started around the time that the survivors group was around. This was a group where people like me talked to other people like me and we supported each other. The italics actively did not want this group on h2g2, to the point where one italic said we did not know what suffering was and were whinging about nothing. Another italic said that they were not trained in helping people with our problems and therefore felt we should go elsewhere.

The point is that we had had enough of people 'trained' in our problems and wanted to help each other. We all knew that often all we needed was to know that someone else was there. We didn't need or want 'expert' advice. You realise pretty soon in these situations that there is no 'expert' advice anyway. Most psychs are just people who are also survivors who have 'trained' in helping others. They feel only their method will help, if you refuse their method then you are in denial. They is no room for individuality or opinions.

Most of us survivors know that is not what we need. However it tends to be only survivors who know that, which is why we can help each other. People who have not gone through the process still tend to think that a psych can sort it all out. Having had a psych try to suggest events that didn't happen, ie try to 'recover' memories, I am actually very very anti-psychs.

Another thought is that people need to have their lives acknowledged. There are many 'suicide' websites and people can go there and talk about this subject. Many just need to talk and they often talk themselves out of it. But some people need to talk about the gritty details, it is often these gritty details which make them realise that suicide is just a fantasy and not something which they want.

So there is a place I believe for this kind of talk. Perhaps this website is not the best place, seeing as how people of any age can be here. However kids get suicidal, I was from the age of 13/14. So by trying to stop talk of it here, we also stop peoples way of dealing with these thoughts.

I can get so desperate that the sudden presence of Auntie Beeb can make me feel suddenly unwelcome on my own page. Bearing in mind my only friends are here, where else am I meant to go? I have a fear of my gp and the samaritans are completely useless in long-term situations like this.

I know that all I need is to know that one person is out there listening. One post makes me feel better. Somestimes is no-one is around I just rant and rant in my postings and get it out of my system that way, in the end it works for me.

For someone who hasn't thought this all through and realised that their despair is temporary and isn't really a desire for suicide, is Auntie Beeb what they need? Could the presense of Auntie Beeb in such a situation prompt the person to log off, and work it through on their own? Could this not lead to dire results?

Our friends are often the only people who understand us, especially if in cases like me, they have seen us go through it many many times. My friends know all I need is acknowledgement, or just a space to rant and rage, I don't need the samaritans and thoughts of my gp could tip me over the edge. I am not saying that there are any easy answers, but we are individuals and to treat us all the same and to always point us towards strangers could be counter-productive, when all we want is our friends.

Hi there. Some very persuasive points, there. I guess Auntie Beeb is unable to just stand by, for whatever reason, when people are in that level of distress...

I'm curious as to why you don't find the Samaritans useful for a long-term problem. I've always found them to be more help than anyone else, whether or not I have suicidal thoughts. Is it that you have to talk to a different person each time?

I've learnt that sometimes you just want a , not loads of comments that never come out right.

Here's just one more.

I am glad you have somewhere to articulate your thoughts too.

Perhaps not the best place, but then again, where is? Better out than in - mostly...

keep yer up!

Hi all, nice to see you MV!

Snailrind, I find the samaritans get very emotional about incest. Mine is a long story, from that to present bad health, if I need to vent about my doctor or my leg, then I need to go through the whole story. I have received very strong emotional reactions which I find are not appropriate, it always therefore sticks at the early years, whilst I have to justify that I still see my dad and other things, instead of moving on to talk about what I need to talk about. So I gave up after the last one needed to be sick!

Finally I understand though that no-one can make all this better so just being able to come here and vent if required, and get a hug, is all I need.

*waves*

Nice to see you too, whether up or down...

Did you see my picture of the turtle we found on the trail yet? It was the most exciting find for me this year.. I get more excited about this stuff than the boy does..

I thought of you when we had to ride thro a tonne of black hairy caterpillers..weaving around trying to avoid squishing them with our tyres. We are having a bit of plague of them it seems, you can hear them munching and pooping in the trees...

I still look forward to seeing more photos soon from you.

Shes at it again
F74061?thread=4213441&post=49516684#p49516684

so I replied here
F5199336?thread=4237074

What have I got to do to get this stranger to stop butting into my life?