h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

... its time to accept my limitations.

I will be looking at how you become registered disabled, so that I can get some help in dealing with this.

I thought I was getting better but I have stuck. I used to walk to Croydon and back everyday, sometimes twice, now I can maybe manage it once a fortnight.

I can usually get to our ponds, its 20 minutes away, we spend the day there feeding the ducks and squirrels. But I can't get much further anymore and I need to face upto that.

I wonder whether I will ever get to the coast again, see my parents again. Its all dependent on Moonglum passing his driving test. Even then we cannot afford a car, being on an IVA. So we maybe able to hire a car once a month and get somewhere, anywhere.

I don't want to pressure him but it would change my life right now. We could visit relatives again and oh so much. Even once a month would be heaven compared to this.

I know so many people have it so much worse, I remind myself of that, whenever I get too 'poor me'. But I always loved to walk, I could always just keep on going, finding new things, and now I just can't. I am crying my eyes out, but I guess its good I finally accepted this change in my life.

Just been looking around bbc website for help on registering disabled - absolutely nothing. I can find out about disabled peoples consumer rights, sport for disabled etc etc. But nothing on how to initially cope with being disabled, on the paperwork and who to turn to. Is it your doctor, the council, benefits office? Bearing in mind I don't want benefits, I just want the official label to help with future things, such as a disabled car badge.

Normally the bbc website is better than this, this is rubbish to have no easy to find initial guide on how to cope when you first become disabled.

I can work it out by myself eventually though, I am just not used to the bbc being so unhelpful.

http://www.bhas.org.uk/

(That was just a random thing I came across while Googling for the people who helped me. Looks kinda useful as a general FAQ thing.)

Another thing...

http://www.croydon.gov.uk/democracy/corporatecomplaints/localadvicesurgeries

Here we have this great place called Disablement Welfare Rights. They're not connected to the government, and they take people seriously. They're great, but they don't seem to be available anywhere else.

Perhaps I can phone you and tell you what I know from my own experiences, if that would help?

http://www.drc-gb.org/default.aspx?page=1118&key=

Here is the 'legal' definition.

"Bearing in mind I don't want benefits, I just want the official label to help with future things, such as a disabled car badge."

You can't get the disabled car badge unless you get the benefits, and then you have to qualify for the highest rate of mobility to get the badge. If you do get that highest rate, you may be entitled to a car instead of the cash.

The website will also help you with your rights, but of course you have to be entitled to the benefits first, and it's more about discrimination. They do state that being on DLA doesn't mean that you you are in effect 'disabled' in the eyes of the law.

You'll need to get someone who knows you to fill in part of the form. This could be Moonglum, but I always think it carries more weight if it's an 'outsider'.

Claim forms can be picked up, but otherwise call: 0800 88 22 00 or Disability Benefits Unit on 0845 712 3456 and ask for a pack

Good luck with it.

Also, the people who do the DLA assessments need to be treated with extreme (but very polite) suspicion and vigilance, which is how they will be treating you. I have tips on making the assessment easy--learned the hard way.

Hi guys, don't worry too much. I can find out anything I need from ringing my doctor, the council or checking the government website. I just thought it was poor of the bbc not to have more helpful information.

The link you gave Snailrind, were the people who my Gran used to see for assessments whilst she still lived in Bristol.

Mina, my Mum has a blue badge and she is not on benefits either. It would be quite daft if you could only get disabled help if you also wanted benefits, in my opinion. Lots of us just want some help and advice, not money. Maybe the odd bit of help though later. I want to be on a register, so that if something happens to Moonglum, I am already in the system, because I could not cope by myself.

We have been planning things a bit, I always dreamed that we finished the IVA and could afford holidays again I would goto beaches in Norfolk and Pembrokeshire and go for lots of long walks. Obviously not an option now, so the plan is as soon as we have finished the IVA, we get a car and a wheelchair. Things like that are looking forward and accepting the problem. Got another 4 years on the IVA though, I so want a holiday, just to see some new scenery.

Oh and as for getting someone different to fill out that form, I actually know no-one here at all. The only friends I have on here on h2g2. Unless I ask one the locals whom I say hello to! No here actually knows me, we never have visitors. I get so fed-up at the assumption that everyone has friends and a social network. For instance I am due to apply for a new passport, I have no-one to sign my photo, I could ask my doctor I guess. Hes an immigrant who does not understand english that well. But because he is a doctor and a trusted member of the community (how I hate that phrase), his opinion is more important than mine, who was born here. How I hope that does not come across as racist. Its just that once you cannot get out anymore to meet people, no-one wants you as a friend anymore, its unrealistic to expect people stuck at home, who don't goto pubs, to still have friends.

I never thought that my lack of friends would make this disability more difficult for me. That sucks.

What about that women who was so understanding that you were speaking to recently? I can't remember who you said she was now, sorry.

Didn't realise you couldn't get the badge without benefits, although I went to look it up and the reasons people would get the badge, surely they'd be entitled to benefits too? I can't imagine why anyone would turn down money they were entitled to! Especially in (excuse my being personal) your financial circumstances.

"Didn't realise you couldn't get the badge without benefits2

I meant 'could'

The helpful person was a nurse at family planning, or it could have been the physiotherapist. I am not having physio and visit family planning every 12 weeks. It is good that some nhs people actually listen, its a shame that it never includes my gp.

As for money, yes we are broke and it would be good to get more, but the government is poushing everyone on benefits to get into work. If they assess you on a good day they assume thats what you are like all the time and push you into work regardless. I know that the more I walk the more pain I am in, until it becaomes impossible. It also changes a lot, and I can read those changes, someone only interested in paperwork and targets won't.

I am loving my craft work at the moment, thats what I want to concentrate on, it brings in no money, as I have nowhere to display it, but I do have an exhibition at the end of the year. So thats what I what to concentrate on. Also any benefit I get, debt free direct has the right to take the whole lot anyway, and would take at least half of it. I don't react well to stress and strangers in authoritative pushing me, it triggers past stuff.

I would rather be poor but in control and doing work I love, than risk being so stressed that my back seizes up again completely and who knows for how long? Anyway, I am rambling now.

I agree: I'm not on DLA, because I can't hack the way they treat people. I'd rather be calmer and do without the extra money. Thank goodness the Incapacity Benefit people are not under the same pressure to be gits! They tend to be far more accepting and believing.

Regarding the form-filling: the prevailing advice from Disablement Welfare Rights is to always put how you are on your very worst days, then mention in the 'anything else' box that your condition varies.

If you like, I can post you a copy of the form I filled in for Incapacity Benefit, which I had a lot of help with. You'd be able to see how I expressed my variable condition in the 'best' light, and it might make your form-filling quicker. It's awful having to focus on and justify a condition you'd rather not have at all, so the faster you get through such a thing (if you decide to), the better.

Incidentally, I saw a bunch of 'disabled' car badges for sale in Halfords, available to anyone and everyone.

Good luck with it then Kaz, I think you deserve to be able to get out and about, I know how much you want to be outside with the wildlife.

Thanks all. Disabled badges in Halfords? Oh dear.

I couldn't let post 22 go
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now I am waiting for the onslaught. I can't believe that people think after all this time I could have been lying. h2g2 is where I talk to my friends. I am scared that I am going to be hounded away now. I know I shouldn't have posted that, but I cannot keep my feelings about this in. We live in a society which thinks people should be quiet, if they say too much they are lying and think of all the jokes you hear about incest. I want people to see that incest is not a joke, its real and it destroys lives.

I never thought that as I got older that I would get iller, I also never realised that people would doubt me, attack me and all the rest that has happened. All because I was abused, its as though people think you deserve more abuse, because of that. I wait for the backlash, but I hope against all hope that there will be nothing, as the punishment I am receiving right now for being abused is quite enough for me to deal with.

I've got a feeling he was talking about an attention-seeking bitch who couldn't tell the truth if her life depended on it.

I know it may not have been about me, but I am one of those who have been abused and have always been open about it. I wonder who it is you mean?!

I sometimes hate that I always feel compelled to stand up for others like me. But so many end up worse than me and I know how difficult it is to get help or to be taken seriously.

I hate to say her name. She caused chaos on h2g2, sucked in a load of vulnerable people, then when she got kicked out created new accounts pretending to be new people and then said it wasn't her, but one of her personalities. Oh good grief. Hateful woman!

She may have been abused, that can't be known, but she made up a lot of stuff on h2g2 to get sympathy.

Oh I know who you mean. Sometimes though I cringe at ways I have behaved in the past, I think being abused can screw you up and lead to stupid behaviour. Its difficult to remain logical with all this stuff in your head sometimes and the anger and in my case always knowing that I didn't just get it then, I am still getting it now, with the resultant health problems. Not wishing to defend this person, but you have seen me at times when I was not my best, it can be very strange afterwards thinking 'oh no, I didn't'!

Perhaps that's something I can't appreciate as it's not happened to me. I will try to be more tolerant around people, although she caused so much damage it's hard to give her any benefit that she may have been damaged herself.