h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*a thin black line of trans-thread portal opens up in the Villains Wing rotates 90 deg and deposits a semi-concious Red Dog into the thread. Red's ectoplasmic spook armour is shorting out all over and his Hero-in-Trouble (HIT) beacon starts playing a pre-recorded mayday message*

"Dreadfully sorry about this but I appear to have had a spot of bother with life and I'm wondering whether there is someone in the vicinity who could toddle along and help out. I know it's a frightful bore but we can't let the bad guys make whoopee out of this can we ?*

~starts repeating on a loop~

wow!

*The spook armour goes into standby mode, thin cracks appear over the prone body of the Dog Leader and the armour slowly fades out revealing a black, blue and Red Dog. One tired eye slowly opens and takes in his surroundings*


Was it something I said or is this just life ?

*swoons*

*Rushes in carrying a large white box with a red cross on it. Looks carefully at the body on the floor. Grimaces.*

This calls for our most powerful treatment.

*Looks up, prepared to counter any objections. Sees only grim determination in the eyes of the onlookers. Reaches into the white box and pulls out.....

THE HAGGIS OF DESTINY

*struggling back to conciousness and desparately wondering whether the Haggis of Destiny is in an ointment or a suppository form*

*Takes the HAGGIS OF DESTINY out of its radioactive waste container, holds it at arm's length and waves it vaguely in ReddishDog's direction.*

Better wake up, laddie, or I shall have to APPLY THE HAGGIS!


That should do it. Never known that threat to fail.


*The haggis begins to pulse slowly with a faint light.*

RD struggles gamely to his paws and wobbles a bit unsteadily before salivating *

That's a very bad impression of a scotsman GL **




* only thing known not to salivate to is water cress
** second only to that other bad scottish impression from James Doohan also suspiciously Canadian

*Smugly puts the Haggis back in the radioactive waste container, which seals with a hiss (hmmm, that would make a good song:

Though we've got to say good-bye
To the Haggis
Laddie, I promise you this
I'll send you all my waste
Everyday in a container
Sealed with a hiss

Ahem, now back to our regularly scheduled post.)*

Ach, my impression wasna tha bad! And neither was James Doohan's. (Have you seen the new movie? It's awesome.)

*fiddles with thread title - see also F13470555?thread=6576601*

I have and it is and I enjoyed Simon Pegg but I canna tak any muir captan

Where's Ramblin when you need her !?

I believe she died. At least is says so in her name.

That's bloody inconvenient !

Yes, highly inconsiderate of her.

Downright selfish when you think about it !

...


Yes you are right. Not a very good host. Maybe she's afraid of losing her "g". You know, when a ghost becomes a host, they lose their "g".

*groans silently*

She's also not a very good gost, ghot or ghos. She might be a good ghst, if that was pronouncable.