h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A604540

Another long one here! This one's about *the* TV game show from the Nineties!

Any comments would be nice!

Caper Plip

Hi Caper Plip

This entry is excellent! It should have not problems whatsoever getting into the Edited Guide.

I can't think of any ways to improve it at the moment because it's just so good, but if I do come up with some I'll let you know.

Croz

I also can't think of anything to improve it.
It seems incredibly complete, wonderful

I can't think of anything more to add, this really must be the definitive article on one of my favorite quiz shows. Excellent work!

Hello!
A very good entry!
However would it be worth mentioning the joke about contestants being unable to cope with simple tasks that entered popular culture? I seem to recall on "The Mary Whitehouse Experience" TV show at the time they did a take off where the task was to make a cup of tea and the contestant confronted with a tea pot and cup shouts "What do I do?". That's probably irrelevant, but I just thought I'd mention it.

Researcher PSG

Greetings,
This is the first subject I've seen that I've been interested in and know enough about to feel able to comment.

It's absolutely superb and well-detailed, but I've spotted one omission. For the 'other characters' bit (under 'Mumsy') there's no mention of the robot in the Futuristic Zone (the one a contestant had to do the mini-game of Laser Quest against). Just thought I'd point it out.

I only hope my first submission is anywhere near as good.

Jon D.

This entry is very good, I think it deserves a place in the edited guide.

There are a few points you could add. There are a few traditions in the show.

When someone gets in the room, they almost instictively say 'Where is the cystal?'. Sometimes it was the team who said it.

Also, it is traditional to say 'You've got plenty of time', especially, it seemed, when the contestant is running out of time.

However, apart from that, I can't think of anything to add. I also didn't realise that the Cystal Maze was based on Fort Boyard, but then I didn't know about there being an original version of Fort Boyard, before the current one.

I just noticed something after I posted.

Firstly, I think that the section starting mumsy should be part of a seperate section, as the way is written at the moment, it looks like that is part of the section on hosts. You could have a section on the characters, with its own , rather than having a for mumsy.

Hi there!

Thanks for all your wonderful comments!

Additions made are:

-added Other Regulars header and removed Mumsy subheader
-added robot in Other Regulars section

I would have liked to have added Traditions but I'm quite happy with the way it is at the moment

Thanks! Love to hear some more comments!

Caper Plip

It's looking good. The traditions was just an aside, to add some colour. I don't know where you could fit them in.

Perhaps the 'Other regulars' should be other characters, as some are not really regulars as such. The princess was not really a regular. However, 'mumsy', and the computer in the futuristic zone certainly were regulars. This is probably just my pedantic side on overdrive.

The paragraphs on mumsy could be run into one, as the paragraphs all relate to the same subject. Or perhaps you could arrange them as two, with the first paragraph taking in the first two paragraphs, and the second taking in the paragraphs starting 'In Series 3', and 'Mumsy left'

Also the paragraphs on the two characters in the medevil zone could be included as one paragraph. The same could apply to the two characters in the futuristic zone.

You could also put the 'But never both at the same time' sentence as part of the paragraph about the computer. The sentence about the the 'Laser-Quest' robot could also be part of the paragraph about the futuristic zone computer. You could say 'also in the futuristic zone ...' followed by the sentence.

The game with the robot was not, as far as I know called Laser Quest, in 'The Cystal Maze', but you could rephrase to say that the game involves a laser shootout with a robot, similar to the game Laser Quest.

You could also if you want to, give a subheader to each zone, when talking about the 'Other Regulars', to divide it up a bit.

In general, there seem to be quite a few sentences that are 'floating'. They are connected to the previous paragraph, or the next paragraph, but are included as seperate paragraphs on their own.

One example, is when talking about the Industrial/Ocean zones
the sentence 'As well as a lot of water.' probably want to be included in the last sentence of the previous paragraph, probably something like:

Again.. sodium lighting as well as a lot of water, to give the effect of a post-nuclear time period.

Also, the sentence

'In later series, the Industrial Zone was replaced by the even wetter Ocean Zone.' probably should be part of the next paragraph about the Ocean Zone.

Hi!

Changes made are:

-changed Other Regulars to Other Residents
-altered the bit about the robot in Other Residents section

I think the floating paragraphs give the article an ironic tone and I'd prefer to keep them in.

Thanks! Any more comments?

Caper Plip

I take your point about some of the floating paragraphs, in some cases they are ironic. Perhaps they could be footnotes, instead of paragraphs.

For example, 'so much for tackiness' in the section on prizes could be a footnote.

The same could apply to 'As well as a lot of water' in the section about the Industrial zone/Ocean zone section.

However, some appear not to be ironic. One example is 'In later series, the Industrial Zone was replaced by the even wetter Ocean Zone.' in the Ocean Zone/Industrial zone section, that could really do with being in the next paragraph.

Similarly, the paragraphs about mumsy could be included as one paragraph, or possibly two.

I mention this, because floating paragraphs can break up the flow when reading. When you are being ironic, this is good, but when you are not it is neater to include it as part of another paragraph. When being ironic, a footnote might have the same effect of breaking up the flow, while the entry still looks neat.

Another point, when writing about the Industrial and Ocean zones, you say at the start 'This zone was full of greasy oil kegs', but it is not immediately clear which zone you are referring to. Perhaps that should be The Industrial zone was...'.

Another thing you could add is that the medevil zone had a old fashioned pinball machine in it, or it did when Richard o'brien hosted, as he played on it once or twice.

In the trivia section, you mention 'The Green room'. I don't think that the first T is The should be capitalised, and similarly the G and r starting Green and Room. You could add emphasis using italics.

Editorial Note: This conversation has been moved from 'Peer Review' to 'The Crystal Maze'.

This thread has been moved out of the Peer Review Forum because your entry has now been recommended for the Edited Guide.

You can find out what will happen to your entry here: http://www.h2g2.com/SubEditors-Process

Congratulations!

Yes, many congratulations Caper Plip.
This will be sent off to a sub-ed, and eventually sent off to the front page.