h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Bathroom Tissue - A22472039
Author: Ess2s2 - U1215757

A short, informative article on the one thing most of us take for granted.

Hi Ess2s2, and welcome back to h2g2!

I love the article, but we already have a couple of Edited Guide entries on this subject - have a read of these:

A18310538 Toilet Roll - The Pocket-Sized History
A162226 Toilet Paper

I really like your writing style. Maybe there's an aspect of the subject that isn't covered by the existing entries which you could explore? I see from your Personal Space that you're 'widely travelled'. Maybe you could write something about the subject in this environment?

Icy

You just reminded me of one of my favourite lines from the BBC TV sitcom Porridge:

MacKay (prison warder): "Six soft toilet rolls have disappeared from the governor's closet. We've had to give him standard prison issue tissue."

Godber: "That's rough."

Fletcher: "Rough? Yeah ... I'll say it is ... that'll wipe the smile off his face."


Thanks for brightening my day.

I see, I did a search, but for bathroom tissue. Well, I'm not really sure where to go with this now since Toilet Roll - A Pocket-Sized History pretty much nailed it.

I did mention the manufacturing process in a bit more detail and introduced the concept of people who use the TP differently, but looking at the two articles, the other gentleman's piece is much better written and way more organized.

So guys (and gals), I'm not sure, should I scrap this or is there some angle not yet explored?

You could attempt to merge all three and put this through as an update. The second entry really should have gone through as an update as we already have an entry on it, but that seems to have been missed.

The main issue I had with your entry was in the first paragraph (which is all I read before I came to this thread and saw that there were already other entries) where you say it's 'soft'. I'm sure that you've mentioned it later on, but there are loads of places which still use paper which is just plain nasty - and that includes public toilets at the seaside and even at country park visitor centres. And you also said it's primary purpose was to wipe after a poo. Well, as a woman I am can assure you that I piddle more than I poo so I'd have to argue with that straight away.

Sorry for the TMI, but I thought it was important.

Reading your article in isolation - I'd like to see medicated toilet paper mentioned - the really crinkly stuff - moist wipes - like Kandoo - and medicated moist wipes - generally associated with hæmorrhoids. Also, more details on premium papers - like quilting.

With all articles on toilet paper in view - there are uses for toilet paper missing that include the provision of a crash mat - intended to stop the buttocks getting sprayed with toilet water when dropping a turd - and for mopping up fluids that invariably follow acts of male self gratification.

I agree that maybe we could see an update here - though the Pcoket-Sized History only just appeared in February. How did it get through without (a) anyone noticing the original article and (b) without my noticing it!

The Apprentice

Congratulations from me! Even if this article comes to nothing, for whatever reason, take solace that it led to the creation of a much needed entry on the 'Toilet Paper Crash Mat', now in Peer Review.



The Apprentice

Have you thought what you might like to do with this Ess2s2?

Hi there, I wrote the A18310538 entry, and I believe it does what it says on the tin - it is a pocket-sized history as was intended, stand alone if you will - unlike the first entry which tells us what a toilet roll is. The PR thread for my entry is here http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/classic/F6133663?thread=3734756 As you can see no-one at the time mentioned that it should be an update - I even linked to the original 'what a toilet roll is' entry. If anyone feels it needs updated now I'd be happy to help. PS I've read your crash mat entry Apprentice - very witty.

I read this and the old rhyme popped into my head.

In days of old when Knights were bold
And paper wasn't invented.
They wiped their ass along the grass
And had to be contented.

Well, I'm thinking I'm going to take it down until I can either come up with a different angle or specialization, or until I can figure out if there is a related topic as yet unexplored and what I might be able to do with it.

I might just scrap it and tackle an entirely different subject.

I'm sure many of us have written masterpieces only to find that someone got there first. It's odd that there are so many gaps in the Edited Guide, but take something like toilet roll/bathroom tissue and suddenly all angles are covered.

As I said before, you have a great writing style, and I look forward to your next submission.

If you want inspiration for subjects, then you could always check out the Challengeh2g2 page.

Icy

Thank you for the encouragement and tips, I'm going to start looking for my next topic.