h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

similarly, "I'm so hungry I could...":

- eat the crutch from a rag-doll
- eat the a******e out of a scabby monkey
- eat a greyhound and chase the mechanical hare

...or my personal favourite, first discovered in a Les Norton novel by Bob Barrett (I forget which one):

"I'm so hungry I could eat the maggoty arse out of a dead bandicoot"

Share & Enjoy,
RET

durex???
sellotape????
Blimey, mate, all it is, is plain and simple stickytape!! Gees!

as useful as a blind tadpole in a mud puddle

slothing around???? Personally don't know anyone who does that. Now, slobbing around... I know heaps who have that down to a fine art!! Usually wearing trackydaks or stubbies, a bluey and thongs.

The Australian Eastern Taipan, I believe, has enough venom per bite to kill 120 adult males in 8 minutes and can strike 18 time in 2.2 seconds. I learned that last month at the Country Music Festival in Tamworth, NSW, Oz.

I also suffer from that most horrid of ailments, pedantism, and such is my response.

Although the taipan (Oxyuranus Scuttelatus) is considered the most dangerous land snake on Earth, this is not because of its highly toxic venom (which rates about 2nd or 3rd) but more because of its aggressive nature and distribution amongst populated areas of north-eastern Australia.

The most deadly (venomous) land snake is the Small-Scaled snake, or Fierce snake (Oxyuranus microlepidotus). A close relative of the Taipan, the S3 has a far more potent venom than even its closest rival. It is not considered as dangerous as the taipan as its distribution is limited to the south-western deserts of Queensland, Australia. This area is mainly desert, and has a very sparse population (human).

More info, try here:
http://www.usyd.edu.au/su/anaes/snakebite.html

Don't get me started on the sea snakes, even the jelly fish are afraid of them!

Bogan .... dead head dressed in sagging black jeans, moccasins and fags
crusties ... alternative lifestylers.. with limited access to running water

favourite and rather old fashioned expression

all dressed up like a pox doctor's clerk
and so mean (tight fisted) he wouldn't give a railway pie to a rat

and a big ps dont forget the sea wasps jelly fish no bigger than your hand that paralyse and kill.
A small sting is excrutiatingingly painful (from personal experience), leaves welts that last for months which contiue to burn and sting from time to time for a few months. They also seem to have a passion for the flesh of any australian born South of the tropics

Slight mistake on the Heli = Helicopter bit, we actually call it a "Chopper"

As for the snakes and stuff. The taipan is one VERY poisonous b*****d, yet I am more scared of the brown or the tiger snakes. The brown snake can snap back on itself and bite you when you are standing behind it. No other snake can do that! And that tiger snake, he will in fact CHASE people. I mean a snake that bites you if you step on it is one thing, and not overly scary, since most of them run away when they hear you coming, this bugger will hunt you!

Redge Grundies = Undies (Underwear)

I'm not sure about the rest of the country but where I come from (South Australia) the Fierce Snake is also known as the Inland Taipan. There has been some conjecture as to whether it is of the same genus as the Eastern Taipan or maybe deserves a classification of its own. It is not a very sociable creature however. The only one I have come across in the wild wanted nothing to do with us, thankfully.

Durex isn't any aussie slang I've ever heard; it's pommie brand-name slang for condoms. Anyway, "sellotape" generally gets called plain sticky tape, down under. & real Aussies refer to themselves as such (rather than Ozzies - shades of the Osbournes there, amongst others), although I have occasionally seen an Aussie refer to this part of the world as "the land of Oz", they are usually referring just to Queensland, which tends to be a rather stranger place than the rest of it!

Any Aussies willing to agree/disagree/comment?
Cheers
Kylie

Yeah, Queensland is one weird place... and I pity them too... They have Acker.

An exerpt from a 'Scared Weird Little Guys' song played the day before the AFL grandfinal last year.

'And Brisbane have some injury pain,
With Lappin's knee, Voss's back
and Ackermanis's brain'

they're good but i say...

im so hungry i could eat the crutch out of a low flying crow

and...

i couldnt give a rats arse!

Possibly one of the more irritating aspects of "Ozzy Lingo" is the the fact that most of us are to lazy to say long words eg. arfternoon, renovation, etc. so we shorten them by only saying the first sylable and adding 'o'. And so we end up with words like 'arvo' and 'reno'. I hate it, but it's kinda hard to escape so I put up with it and annoy everyone else by reminding them it's football, not soccer.

By the way a 'tinny' is a small boat, not a can of beer.