h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

im bloody speechless
after readin all that

i was gonna write
somethin
but i cant remember what
must have been about
opals or oysters

a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock

'ay 'ow cum no wuns sed nuthin' 'bout 'oldens 'n' bullants

And what about the two legged sharks down Parramatta Road, Sydney

That species has representatives in every city on the planet
just that in Melbourne they drive holdens

I wonder why they put bull bars on Holdens when they are used to kill any animal species in Australia, including humans, but never bulls?

they just lift the bulls up over the bonnet
cows get their teats in a tangle






struth
its gettin late

I presume the Falcons have roo bars

Nah
falcons have talons

falcons, talons, clip ons, nippons, Sydney harbour bridge. has there ever been a time since the bridge was opened that a Holden was not crossing it?

no
sydney bridge doesnt have nippon clipons
i think thats the bass strait ferry

check out www.hsv.com.au that will sort out most nipponese

Now see, I've heard about this one particular snake that lives up in the North Eastern bit of Queensland (the deserty bit just in from the tropical foresty bit). I think it's called the Eastern Inland Taipan, or something - colloquially known as the Fierce Snake. And its'a a right B****D !

This prick of a thing isn't like other snakes, in that if it knows you're around and can possibly do so will run (or move in a snakelike fashion, more correctly) away. Nope, this mongrel spots you on the horizon and says "Right matey, you're f****d now !", and comes after you ! I guess it figures once it bites you there's about a 100% chance that you'll turn into a rather lovely meal, so it might as well have a go !

Bastards.

The other weird thing I thought I'd mention is those big goanna lizards that eat cattle bones, and if they can't swallow them whole, they eat them to the point where the end of the bone is still sticking out of their mouth. They then get a big run up and ram into the nearest big tree, in an effort to force the thing down their necks ! It's a strange thing to watch.

Wonders what TBird7 is on?

You have missed a lot of others, here's a few
Shelia = woman
Mate = friend (normally male but can be female)
Dogs eye and Horse = pie and sauce
Goffer = Can of soft drink (Australian Army slang)
Port = Suitcase (Queensland only)
Shell-be-right = everythings ok
Wats-ya-looking-at = Im about to punch you in the face if u don't leave straight away

AussySteve, check out the entry Australian slang. It has its own page and was posted after this one.

Sorry to tell you this but freshies (fresh water crocodiles) have never been know to deliberately attack humans, although
occasionally they mistake feet and hands for fish.
And what about the Box Jelly Fish, you never go near the water in the top end without a bottle of vingar to poor
on the Box Jelly Fish stings, not that it helps stop the incredible pain but at least it makes it possible to
pull their tenticles off.

Here in the Uk, Durex are a make of condoms.


...As are Mates.

I'll have to check my facts but I've been led to believe that we have 7 of the 10 most deadly snakes as well.

The only 3 in the top ten not in Australia are the Taipan, Cobra and Rattlesnake ... but I could be wrong since I noticed one of the posts mentioned an Australian Taipan.

in the US Jiffy is a brand of Peanut Butter. At least I hope I havent been eating steel wool.