h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ladies, gentlemen, aliens and those who can speak Incoherent English! Welcome to the place where you post absolute nonsense, results of keyboard spasms, and the product of having the neighbours cat sleep on your mouse!
Before you post, there are a few Conversation Rules:
1) You cannot contradict an earlier post, wether it be yours or someone elses.
2) Whatever you write must be coherent, grammatically correct, fluent to read and about complete nonsense.
3) Read the House Rules.
I hope you will all have fun posting.
Good Morning!

Hello and welcome to h2g2!

If you have a look in your Message Centre (about a third of the way down your Personal Space), you'll find I've posted a welcome to you. I've put some hints in there to help you find your way around the site for now, but if you do need any help please don't hesitate to reply to this message or leave me a message on my User Space (just click on my name and you're there).

If it's nonsense you're after, you might want to join the Monty Python Society at A1046701

My armadillo is itching, I migh thave to put some carrot cream on to it later...

My anti-millitant sheep has got exczema, so i'll have to return it to 10 Downing Street to have the scabs boiled in an acid bath by the rising scum.

Everyone Beware! cheese sandwhiches are attemting to take over the universe! mice are the only beings that will listen to me and they are enthusiastically attacking all cheese butties they see on sight. This is humanity's last hope as i don't know how much longer i can hold out... Everyone stand ready, for humankind is AT WAR!!!

*goes off in search of the abscent prunes to prepare himself for the battle *finds the prunes argueing with the badgers again about the lampposts

Good to see you getting prepared. this is a serious threat and must be taken seriously. even as i sit here typing i know that the world is in peril. I'm not joking. The men with white coats wont touch me AGAIN!!!! EVER!!!

Please, no more references to war. It reminds me to well of my brief encounter with the Vogon descendants: they strapped me to a tree, and shoved a great big sharp thing up my...

The end tables are revolting! The cheese that doesn't have to be refridgerated is on the loose again and is coming for you!