h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

 Well here we go..The Life and Times of a Bewildered Woman..

Had a very close call today, the stair monster nearly had me!!
if not for some deft manouvres and a soft carpet my skeleton
could have been a unique shape..
I thought I had intruders..maybe even the Mad Axe Man..and had
to bound down the stairs, as you do, to greet them.. Don't worry
I was carrying an extra large ashtray, even better than a torch
when facing unknown nutters..and doncha just know it, the stair
monster moved a step, resulting in me doing the midair wobble,
as time slowed down for me I tossed the ashtray to one side,
corrected the forward overbalance, and with an almighty effort
threw myself back, both hands clawing at the walls..
So I now have an interesting mottling on my butt and quaint
parallel tracks down the walls, as well as wallpaper wedged
under my fingernails. I haven't found the ashtray yet!!
( and it was only my sister!! and her pal come to show off
her tattoo, which was very nice)

 

What was the Tattoo of ?,
Have you located said ash collector ?
Now, this should help ypu find another page..

the tattoo was a triangle with swirly bits, very nice..I'm a bit pipped though cause I was plucking up the courage to get one done for my birthday
and Donna's got one first..don't want to look like a copy cat!! ( though I would use one of my own designs, not a shop one, ..saucer of milk over here please!!)
and the doobie catcher was found in the cat tray!!! ..

Wow! So that was the accident you were on about!! And to think you abandoned our fascinating conversation to go and hurl yourself down the stairs! Are my conversational skill really that bad????? Anyway good recovery and I think all that would've scared off a potential axe murderer anyway!!! Seeya later!

Aha! The axe murderers. I was right!