h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A call for goatee wearers to stop it at once.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A572159

Ahem.

I concur with the esteemed Mr. Moxon's comment.

Same here.

Fourthed

*bleat*

Sixthed.

*ponders expertly*

Come on guys, they're so last century.

Here's a compromise. Grow a full beard. I did.

But what if your cheek bones are your best feature? They'll be buried under hair...

OK, OK... The joke was not that bad. But I think this oughta be removed from PR
sometime soon since it is just conjesting.

Are you insane?

There is, surely, the basis of an entry in this - perhaps open in up as a talking point? Why are they doing this to themselves? Are they the same people who went for the designer stubble in the 80's, or a whole new generation of pognophiles? Are there women (and men!) out there who find it sexy?

I am not insane... I actually thought it was a nice joke (former goatee user myself, and seriously starting to grow a new one (Lost the old one in a bet, and look ridiculous now without any beard.)

Now seriously: This is rather a personal opinion than an entry for the guide.

I think Zappa-esque Goatees are extremely cool. So does my wife and my daughter. I would not start an entry on that basis. See?

An entry on Goatees though -- without the call for killing it, which is your very personal oppinion -- would be nice. But for that you will have to reformulate big chunks.

There is an entry about tatoos and piercing - latter are in my view abominable pieces of self-mutilation - but hey... the entry is fine. Tattoos -- I like 'em -- but that is not important...the entry is fine.

honestly,

HELL

Hell, this piece is a critique of a fashion accessory. It works in the same way as a book, movie or record review. As such, there is no need to change the structure.

In short, although it may be contentious to some, it is nevertheless a legitimate contender to be an Edited Guide entry.

If you are still in doubt, check out a couple of other pieces of mine. In Defence Of Pyjamas and Is The Necktie Dying?

Loony

Oh well, I did not see it that way... You may be right. It's just that... Hmm... Everyone can write a piece of critique on anything, like why a "sun-tan is ugly" or why he thinks "orange is repugnant"... Or a critique on all Millions of garage bands or millions of paperbacks that did not *really* have an impact on our culture... That could go far.

But essentially I think you are right and you have actually changed my mind a bit...

I still like Goatees and will wear one (as soon as it grows) as a protest.
The Goatee rules,

HELL

In the interests of a quiet life, I have changed the article's name. It is now entitled "The Goatee - A Critique"

I like goatees - being female, I find it a nice compromise between the man's desire to wear a beard and the woman's desire to see her sweetie's face without all that hair in the way.

As a man who has worn a Van Dyke, not a goatee, since before grundge was a gleem, and a bad gleem at that, in some future mothers pre-pubescent eyes (well, okay maybe a few of them were pubescent), I have to take issue with your lumping the fine old style I have chosen with that goatish other form of facial hair.

It seems that 'they all look the same' to you if any trimming is done at all. This is grossly non-politically correct behavior on your part and one is tempted to suspect that you, personally, must be folicularly challenged. I would, however, never make such an allegation.

Rather, I will speculate that since you seem to be mildly in favor of full beards that you are either a religious fundamentalist or someone with a peculiar but very interesting fear of razors or, at least of hair sculpture.

I would suggest, sir, that you either refrain from tarring us all with the same goat hair brush or seek the appropriate medical attention for your obviously anti-socical proclivities.

Incidentally, there seems to be more than a bit of historical and medical evidence that these facial furry fashions began because some men simply grow hair in these patterns, which patterns were then much admired and copied. This would suggest that you are also making fun of the folicularly handicapped, by taunting them with their inability to present with your only socially acceptable hair pattern.

The next thing you know, you will be mocking those of us who cannot grow wavy tresses from the tops or indeed from any portion of our scalps. WHERE WILL ALL THIS END???

Will you ban all facial hair? Will you force us to remove mufflers, hats, and scarves to brown shirted yahoos and kallikaks in the streets?

Forgive me. I've quite forgotten myself in my emotional outrage. I did not intend to give umbrage to any jukes or kallikaks in the reading public nor would I have you read to those who typically cannot read through no fault of their own. We are all slaves to our own upbringing and I have just been reminded of that. I'm sorry.

But, you sir have no such excuse. Please beware that any form of condemnation of fashions and styles that I belive in cannot and will not be tolerated.

Other matters, such as flannel checked shirts in dirty greyed out colours which clearly show lack of character, you may feel free to attack gratuitously and receive my blessing and support.

Barton

By the way, did you really want some useful criticism?

Barton

Hey Loony... But what if someone like you would want to write a *positive* critique on goatees? Would he be advised that there is already an entry on goatees?

Bah... who cares? In my view an entry like this would still be polluting the edited guide, and conjesting the PR. But hey... I can live with that.

(I'll be sending in some cleverly disguised personal oppinions to the PR myself in the future -- maybe one of them gets into the edited part)

HELL