h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Can one be portentious if all one's braggings are just a statement of facts?

And does it count as vanity if you always look in the mirror because you think you're ugly?

And where is everybody else these days, anyway?

When you take cherries and stew them like apple sauce, do they taste more like prunes than rhubarb does?

Whay can't I stop asking questions?

Answers on a postcard, please.

You're a bit odd really. But then, that's why I love you.

I believe you infact look in the mirror all the time becasue you know as I and everyone else knows, that you're hott. (With two 't's and everything).

And I have no idea where everyone else has gone, sorry. I probably scared them off with my ramblings.

As I've never had sauce of apple, cherry or rhubarb I couldn't honestly tell you! I am going to have many many panckaes tonight though! In fact I have been waiting all day as I'm now jolly hungry, as I've eaten nowt to make room for all the anckaes I am going to eat.

And now my fingers are chilly, so I'm going to go home and eat pancakes.

I do hope you enjoyed your anckaes. Yum.

Is that hot in a literal sence? 'cos I'm in Sheffield, and it's bloody cold!

By the way: in stead of "cherries," I meant to say "cranberries". You might think it doesn't matter, but to me, it really does.

Sorry I missed Stef's bash: too much work, not enough money. Lame, I know, but I mean it. Hope it were a good'un.

'Cerp it wouldn't have cost you anything save the tax on your feet from the walking. Ah...well, there's always next years bash. Possibly.

I'm off to have a date with my creative writing teacher in a seedy cafe. Nice.

First things first: less o'da sarcasm, okay? I might say what I really think next time, and that's the last thing anybody wants!!


Meanwhile: ... what?