h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Could we talk more privately? Zell is somewhat of a distraction...

Milles pardons, Madame - how could I fail to notice the arrival of such a beauty to my humble parlour?

*hurriedly closing the door to the most untidy room*

*worriedly watching for the first signs of sunrise through one of the windows*

Sacrébleu! Perhaps you would like to see the garden Madame? I have an important 'appointment' but will return as soon as I can!

Of course.. *wanders about outside*

*sits down on the grass and slowly falls asleep*

*appears again as the sun begins to set*

*stops to admire the sight of the sleeping beauty*

*wakes up* Sorry, must have dozed off..

Would you like to take a walk in the moonlight, in the rose garden, Madame?

*offers her his arm*

*smiles* I'd love to.. *takes his arm*

*picks a rose; the most beautiful one he can find in the rose garden - splendid, deep red, scenting, on the verge of but not quite whithering yet, offers it to the beauty by his side*

Careful Madame - it has thorns!

Wouldn't want to cut myself now, would I? Thankyou, it's exquisite.

*puts one arm around the fair lady's waist*

*gazes deep in her eyes*

*lips parting*

*his warm breath brushing against the lady's neck*











Merde! Not again!

*is abruptly distracted by the distant flickering light of torches and the sound of angry voices*

Zut alors - it's the villagers coming after me - again!

Madame - this way please - hurry! *opens a gate, well hidden among the rose bushes*

*blows the lady a before hurrying back to his castle to lock the main gate - from inside*

*softly runs her fingers over her neck*

*whispers*

Did he...? No... that's not possible!

*brushes her hair out of her face and stands, scared stiff, as the villagers bang on the main gate*

Pray, let him be safe..

*appears quite abruptly, as if having crawled through some secret passage*

Mademoiselle - you remained here waiting for me, worrying..

*notices the change of name, becoming slightly confused*

*shrug*

I merely changed it to initials, removed the part about Eric and replaced it with a quote.

Sorry for any confusion caused, regardless of the change, I'm still the same person... unfortunately..

Mais no, mais non, mademoiselle - never use the word 'unfortunately' together with the word 'I' or 'myself'

*looks over shoulder at flaming torches at the castle gate*

Come chérie, we must hurry!

*takes the lovely lady's arm*

*walks quickly*

What does it matter if I have such a low opinion of myself...

*glances back at the wall of fire and quickens the pace*

*stops abrutply*

Enough of this, I say!

Look here, mademoiselle -

*gently lifts up her chin, forcing her to look him straight in the eyes*

- you are one of the must charming creatures I've ever come across!

*is startled but makes no attempt to resist*

*pause*

Well... that was certainly... unexpected