h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I am a fish I am a fish I am a fish I am a fish
I am a fish I am a fish I am a fish I am a fish
I am a fish I am a fish I am a fish I am a fish
I am a fish I am a fish I am a fish I am a fish

etcetera

*Looks over his shoulder*

so am i
so am i
so am i


doh!

Is this some kind of good luck chant for exams? If so:

I am a fish, I am a fish, I am a fish

I suppose it could be, I use it before exams in order to calm myself down. Really though it's apparently what Rimmer in Red Dwarf wrote for one of his exams to become a navigation officer, instead of writing the answers.

Aha! Now I see.

(All these cultural references I miss through not being brought up with a TV..)

I was a fish, I was a fish, I was a fish, I was a fish, I was a fish, I was a fish, I was a fish, I was a fish, I was a fish,
Actually, I once wrote a joke at the end of an university exam because I knew the sence of humour of the lecturer who was marking the exam, I don't think it helped though... Although, as it happens, I did fine in that one; 76% in molecular cell biology.

I often write tongue-in-cheek, offhand remarks in my essays. Makes the teacher laugh but I'm not sure it's a good strategy...

I guess it depends who is marking the paper, if its a person with a sense of humour it might help, on the other hand, if the stuff your puting down on the exam in order to answer the questions is pretty naff, as often happens when you get those tricky questions that you just have to bluff, it might help draw their attention away from how bad the answer is, which might help?

In A-Level General Studies they asked me who General Booth was. Not knowing, I said "General Booth was the b*****d who lost me this mark [sic - therefore don't Yikes me because I swore]". They also asked what was so important about December 22nd, and I said it was the last day before Christmas upon which it was possible to park a car within 4 miles of a major urban shopping centre.

I got a B, so it can't have been that bad. I think my essay on "All religions are basically the same" swung it tho.

'All religions are generally the same' sounds like an excellent essay! Care to bung it up on H2G2 as an Entry?

Nice answer!!!!!!!!
I didn't know you could do "A" level general studies, but B is a pretty damm good mark in anyones book.
Are all religions the same? (retorical question)
My favourate biology essay tittle, which someone I know, not me was given at Uni, it went something like this;
"The promised land is said to flow with milk and honey" discuss this in terms of nutritional requirements and balanced dietry requirements for adults.

Not sure how I would attempt to answer that, most essays I have done are just plane dull....

My favourite biology essay - "describe the various processes involved when a person runs away from a scary monster".

I actually did the 'I am a fish' thing in one of my A-level biology mocks; knowing practically nothing, I finished after 30 minutes and spent the next two and a half hours writing 'I am a fish' 200 times on the back of the paper. It came back with 'no comment!' scrawled over in red pen.

A friend of mine was doing an maths module that was of no use to him given that he was giving it up. At the end of the paper he wrote words to this effect:

"That was a waste of time, wasn't it? I'm sorry to have wasted your time in marking this. I hope you have a nice Christmas when it comes. Bye..."

And this was for an external exam.

I only had exams about a month ago, three, for my MSc, two were fine, but I felt like puting something really darft on the third, which I may have failed. I mean, they were asking questions on stuff not covered in the course, how the heck was susposed to get that? If i have failed, well thats a new experiance..

'Twas probably designed like that - after all, when you get to MSc level you're meant to research stuff yourself, yes? Such as the syllabus...

Anyway, I guess you've all heard the standard answer to the Thermodynamics essay "Discuss whether Hell is exothermic or endothermic", but if I get sufficient requests (i.e. ANY) I'll post it up here.

CtS

Yeah, but we don't have a silibus for the modules, and I do gallons of reading around ETC., but the questions were just on nothing I had seen anywhere; In lectures, handouts, recomended reading, private reading etc. etc.
Isn't Helll endothermic?

Is thar ETC as in 'Electron Transfer Chain', or etc., as in abbreviation of 'etcetera'?

yes.

Sorry, what I ment is that it is "ETC" as in the abbreviation of 'etcetera', I think..

That's good. I was just being a bit picky; this is one of those rare situations where all lower-case are required or I get confused.

Can anyone answer this? My father is a professor of Rheumatology, and he finds that almost all of his students have little skill at spelling, punctuation or grammar. Why is that as soon as a student embarks on all science A-levels they decide that the rules of the English language no longer apply to them? And why do they decide that all artists are thick as three short planks (I'm doing arts and sciences, so I'm trying to stay neutral)?...