h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Comfortably Numb
YOu know something funny is going on around albany lately. 2 of my friends have decided to drop out. And goddamit if they can leave why can't I???
Disgruntled postal workers!!!!!!!!!!!!!

don't talk to me about disgruntled postal workers. i'm having extreme difficulties keeping my gruntle on it's leash. new zealand post might have an incident on it's hands if i have to keep working at 7 in the morning. holiday soon (these 2 words are my mantra, and anchor to sanity). plus there is a major shortage of greenery in auckland at the moment and i'm going to have to leave my lair soon to locate an alternate source. . .

greenery located. gruntle subdued. carry on...

Reply acknowledged. Congrats in order.
Don't be postal!!! You know what happens then. (I hope because I don't know, so please explain!)

I'm sorry it's a secret known only to postal workers. I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you (which is part of the secret)

In my quest for knowledge death does not scare me.

Then race down to your nearest post office and begin harassing any workers you may find, teasing them about how little they get paid, how stupid they are and how pathetic their prospects for ever achieving a happy existence. It will not take long for one of these poor, sad, postal minions to furnish you with a first hand demonstration of "going postal".

You see I just tricked you into giving out the secret!!. Hahaha!! Bon sai. Perhaps I will go instantly postal??? Von post post

perhaps you will turn into a small piece of cheese and consequently eaten by a fat little mouse

perhaps, I do have a mild fixation with cheese, but then again i have a fixation on monkeys too. could I be eaten by a fat little moneky instead??? I think I'd prefer that, mice just don't tickle my fancy at this point in time (on the top of my head)

you will turn into a robotic banana and be eaten by a monkey, unaware of the fact that you are actually a poor human female suddenly transmogrified into a technologically enhanced piece of fake fruit...

Can the fake fruit have a big fake cheese fur coat...
this is off the subject, have you ever seen the movie labyrinth? Because there are some odd odors around here. I think I may have fallen into the bog of Eternal stench!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ick.

Labrynth is a great movie, one of my favourites - up there with The Dark Crystal.

and David Bowie is wonderful in it. I have the movie, and I think its all most worn through with watching.... Fabulous. Dark crystal too...

what I really want to see again is Willow. I watched it when I was quite young and fell asleep half way through, but I remember it being quite cool.

Sheesh that movie disturbs me for some reason. After I saw it I kept having dreams that Willow was my lover, I've never looked at him the same since.

Ick.

More than ick. what disturbing dreams come about on occasions.

I was talking to a girl this morning on the bus who had a really weird dream last night about people on a cruise ship being murdered by a poisonous injection to the forehead (probably one of those blasted elephants) and having their hands and feet painted black to preserve the bodies.

I heard footsteps in my yard this morning at about 6am but the culprit jumped the fence before I could fully awaken and shriek like a little girl.

See I knew the mini poisoness elephants were taking over.....see even the girl on the bus isn't safe from their faction...
You could've shreiked like a little girl anyways, i bet the mini poisoness elephants were wanting to ambush you..., perhaps they could sense and it could ne like kryptonite to them....oh, we may have found a cure.