h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have found out the one piece of information that has been holding me back for the last few years. During a dream (while pretending to work) God came and talked to me. Yes the HNIC came and talked to me. He had some pretty good suggestions on where he thought my life should lead from this point and we talked about the creation of the world and such but it was kind of boring. Then he told me the secret that has now changed my life. I am God's gift to women. Can you believe it? But I got it straight from the man up stairs. Yep it seems that even God likes to give gag gifts.




Sad thing is it took me that long to get to the punch line and I think some of you will not finish it and actually think I am a raving lunatic





Ok so maybe I am or then again with the stuff I have read on this site I might be the most sane you never can tell

Well that's it for now

well that beats the flaming bag of dog poo on the front doorstep.

I like it better than the usual "I hope He kept the receipt" punchline.

yeah and flaming bags of poop get more laughs than reciepts as well

What do you mean "hope he kept the reciepts" I am not sure what that means when talking about a punchline anyway

Well, just watch out for flaming bags of poop run over by clouds towed by care bears!!! and those accursed sheep, whos ecursor blinks incessantly

I meant the joke normally goes like :
If that guy is God's gift to women then I hope God kept the receipt.

(so that God could return the guy to the store and get his money back and buy us something we really wanted, like really cool shoes)

Yeah, it's not very funny, and that's why I like your joke about gag gifts better

Ah that would explain it then.

Well, in all honesty knitbunny, Tacsatduck has heard that joke and unfortunately has been on the recieving end of it. He only feigns ignorance. But hey who am I to talk. . .so have I. on. . .more than one occasion. .. (now I will go into the corner and cry. . thank you for bringing such painful memories. . .okay I am over it now. . .where was I?............

Yeah, and before you ask, I'd prefer God gave me a pair of adidas superstar shell toes (i.e. shoes)

Your tastes for foot wear leave the male populus sad and wanting.

What if the guy got ya the shoes, would that not even everything out?

Seems a pretty shallow way to determine a possible date!

Would you not wait a while before you just bought some shoes for someone?
Is that not a thing for like the 6th date at least?
Damn am I still posting in questions?

Ah you are refering to those damn date rules that plague the lives of single people. BUt I do believe you are right, it is the 6th date you purchase footwear, right after cheesy pewter necklaces on the fifth and odor eaters on the seventh (you know. . .for the shoes)

Sorry, but if I had to wait untill the 6th date before the guy bought me my shoes I'd rather just get them straight from god - no boring dinners and awkward conversations, just a brand new pair of trainers!

Well, a person has to have standards. . .me . . .as long as I don't geta wedgie or she doesn't blaspheme DNA it will a good thing.

Hey, I'm not saying the guy absolutely has to buy me shoes on a first date - a really neat pair of jeans would be just as acceptable.

Um, the no-wedgie rule : is that because of a bad past experience?

As far as the wedgie thing. . .I plead the fifth. . .. . . though it was kinda erotic. . . . . .

Well, and as far as the buyng stuff. . .how about we go out and celebrate at Abercrombie & Fitch. . . I am buying

I knew I'd be sorry I asked about the wedgie thing.

Abercrombie & Fitch, you say? Got your credit card ready? Then what are we waiting for?