h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Fifty years ago there had been a war between the dragon knights and the sages of darkness, a community has rebuilt after the devastation, little knowing they have the key for peace...a band of misfits begins their search for treasures stored away from destruction by the mages, little knowing a powerful force is watching them...

I am LINE, a survivor from an airship crash, having been taken in by kindly local villagers, my memories and skills have started to return, as I search out adventure throughout Valhalla, my purpose becomes more confused and so the inevitable fight between my internal demons and sanity begins to consume me. In the knowledge of the evil presented by the mages I set out determined in my efforts to keep the village of Onok and its inhabitants safe...

And I, in case anyone cares, am Vomar the bounty hunter. That is all that need be told for the present time.

I am Quoth, heir to a dukedom. My father was killed by the sages during the wars while i was still a boy, and his lands seized and ravaged. I harbour a bitter hatred towards those that soiled the family name, and those that think cliche is a bad thing.

Heir to a dukedom? Hmmmm.....

*Begins rifling through a small book, checking to see if there is a bounty on Quoth's head as of last week*

right i'm gonna start this properley now. i am seren. i am a bad guy.

*in the middle of a dark night, in the middle of nowhere a tiny flash appears. Out of it flys a tiny dragon fly, which begins to grow, and transform until standing there vigourously shaking her head is a woman dressed all in black*

sound familiar to anyone around at the begining of the first tale? i am sooooo unimaginative!

ugh traveltime tiredrainsleep.

*she looks around her and shakes her head again*

horridplace coldboringbad. sersillyen, why come here? ugh.

*she sits on the side of the road and uses her pyrokenesis to start a small fire. and then she waits*

*Meanwhile, in a nearby tavern, Vomar is having a heated discussion with a client*

Client-I wanted Mirakles *and* the Star of Skara Brae.

Vomar-You only asked for Mirakles. Mirakles has been delivered. I don't care if you need that stupid star for some invasion you have planned in a parallel dimension, or whatever. We had a deal. Keep your end of the bargain.

*Tense moments pass. After that, Vomar is thrown out of the window of the tavern, and a decent-sized bag of coins is thrown after him. Taking the coins and dusting himself off, Vomar heads down the street*

If only you knew what I did with that Star,....

*He stops and turns to look at the wilderness that lies beyond the city gates. Someone seems to be setting up a camp*

Hmmm. Interesting....

Are we allowed any technology in this? Because this character works awfly well as the mad-scientist type... I can do her withou as well, but it just adds on, you see. Just let me know, I'll add it in later if it's acceptable, daijo-bu? (okay?) daijo-bu!


I am Siun, a blonde and decidedly attractive female who has gone/had gone/went marginally insane in her childhood years due to droves of people poking fun at her and making her cry.

Her psychosies mostly consist of her trusting no one, because of the constant nagging belief that everyone is just out to get her.

She has one companion, a tall stoic male by the name of Canaru. He never leaves her side. Consequently, he is the onl;y one in the entirety of the world (Universe?) that Siun trusts.

Okay. I reeeall;y need to know about the technology thing, because my Canaru character can be greatly expanded upon if it is alowed. Just please, we need to reach some sort of a consensus on this soon.

I have told you before that in my world, there are areas of technologically advanced beings and areas less so, more your sort of medievil villages etc with magic swords wands etc

I am Vladimir Frost. An ancient mage who through varied acts has achieved eternal youth with only the small price of a small human sacrifice every once in a while. I am short only about 5'10" with shoulder length black hair and peircing red eyes reflective of my power. I usealy wears a black robe but am somtimes seen wearing more casual clothing (black of course). For the past few decades or so I have become increasingly bored with my life and thus mainly sit around my castle using my power to spy on intresting occurances and track certain people.

*Alerted by the spike in energy created by the interdimensional portal Vlad has been watching the dragonfly-woman for a while. He now decides to take a more interactive observance*

*A large raven settles in a tree above Seren and sounds it cry out in the night. Before taking wing and swooping down to the road, transforming into human form and gracfully lighting apon the ground*

Don't be afraid. I am Vladimir *bows* Master of the dark ways and you have caught my attention. Tell me where are you from and what do you seek here?

*seren laughs playfully*

why so interested in me? aaaaaaah there's always one. Always one who needs to know. But that would be telling oh great dark lord *she laughs again* nightdarkblackness deathdestruction *her face turns suddenly serious* and what the hell right have you got to come snooping around minding other people's business may i ask?

*Meanwhile, Vomar has been watching this whole scene from a distance via the Star of Skara Brae. Seeing one obviously evil person, and one very possibly evil person, he sets the Star back into his rucksack, and wonders if he should offer his services as a bounty hunter*

After all, Dark Lords always seem to want someone to be killed or captured....

*shakes her head in an irritated kind of way*

excusegoodself dark lord intrudingsnooperingwatching.

*seren turns in the direction of the watcher*

I'd like you to stop watching me now! It annoys me. I don't look my best after time travel. Perhaps i should show you just how much it annoys me!

*in the blink of an eye she transforms into a jet black almost crystaline dragon, she flies over towards the watcher, blows a ring of fire around him, watches him sweat for a while and then blinks the flames into a rope*

now i would thank u not to watch me with your silly toys whilst i am trying to hold a conversation or i shall use this rope to hang you from the nearest tree.

*quick as a flash she is back by her fire in human form laughing hysterically at her new game*

Sorry, Patrick. Watashi baka, ne? (I'm stupid, no?)

*Siun and Canaru walk into the "Nearby tavern" that Vomar mentioned. Canaru has a large canvas bag slung over his shoulder and a strange looking laser blaster attached to his belt. Siun walks in front, her head down, looking dejectedly at the ground. She has a decidedly large sword in a scappard on her back. It looks as if it would be very heavy but Siun doesn't seem to notice it's weight. She walks erect, her head up in a confident manner. She walks up to the bar.*

Siun: Barkeep?

Barkeep: Yes'm?

Siun: Water, please. And dun't poison it, either.

Barkeep: Ri' away, 'm. *turns around and rolls his eyes*

Siun: *sits down at the bar*

Canaru: *stands beside her*

Siun: Canaru, you may sit down.

Canaru: Yes, Miss Siun. *He does as she says and scans the bar for "suspicious" looking people*

Barkeep: Your water, 'm.

Siun: *fishes a few coins out of a blue velvet pouch on her belt and puts them on the bar* Thank you.

Canaru: *Takes a vial out of a pocket and empties a drop of it into the water. There is a slight blue flash.* It is safe, Miss Siun.

Siun: Thank you, Canaru. *She takes the water and spis it, looking about the bar at the patrons*

*Vomar ponders this recent turn of events, wondering if he should try to pursue this foolish course of action, or to wisely just turn around and walk away*

Well. I didn't get to this point in my life by cowering in the site of every megalomaniacal minion of darkness with plans of grandeur. I'll just leave my calling card to prove my point, and be on my merry way.

*Vomar activates another feature of the Star of Skara Brae, causing a confusing field of magical energy around him, rendering him nearly invisible to even some of the most powerful detection spells. A blue image of Vomar sparks up in the firelight*

Greetings forces of evil. I am Vomar, bounty hunter for hire. I shall leave you now, as hopeful dictators of the land have the annoying habit of senselessly murdering one another, but I though that I'd mention the fact that I am the best bounty hunter in the land. I've never missed my target, and have a knack for tracking down any meddling heroes that might be trying to foil your plans. If you ever have a need for me, track me down.

*Vomar turns off the image, and fades back into the city. He heads back for the tavern, to see if there are any new Wanted ads on the wall*

*inside the 'Nearby Tavern', a noisy drunk has been harassing a young woman down at the end of the bar. at first, she tried being nice and ignoring him, but when he tried to cop a feel she threw him headfirst into a nearby table of drunken card players. she dusts her hands, looks around, and heads for the door. unfortunately for her, she walks facefirst into the bounty hunter*

[sea] err, excuse me, sir. terribly sorry.

*sea looks up at him with wide eyes and backs away a few paces, having recognized him as the bounty hunter*

*lowers his eyes in a bow*
Forgive me m'lady but it has been quite sometime since anything of value has happened in this land. And being the watchfull ruler that I am I try to keep tabs on intresting things happening in my domain. I doubt that I could force you to give me the knowledge that I request with out significant damage to both of us and the countryside so thats out the window. You seem to be cold and with out shelter however so I invite you to my home.

*spins and morphs into a raven before he flys into a portal*

Jedi You aren't stupid.

LINE is crossing the Goucha Hills when he chances upon a scene of interest. he spies five mages casting spells and starts to creep towards them to get a closer look. A twig snaps beneath him and they spot him. *he is turned to stone by the mages who continue undisturbed by the intrusion*

*shrugs shoulders and turnas back into a dragon fly before following vlad into the portal*

i was bored anyway.

*Quoth sits motionless at the bar. He has barely touched his ale. The drunk looks over and tries to take it. Without looking, Quoth simply slips a knife from a wrist holster and holds it to the man's larnyx. The drunk backs down, and Quoth pushes him violently to the floor. He continues to stare starkly at his tankard.*