h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A539688

I thought this might be a light, interesting entry for the guide. I think it's pretty much ready, but any comments/criticisms are welcome.

Hello,

Interesting. Do these methods really work? Wow, I learn something new every day. Of course, now I've got the Iggy Pop song "Lust for Life" in my head (10 pts to the first person who knows why).

Yours,
Jake

They've worked for me. I used to have a neighbour who owned chickens and we got to look after those dumb birds when the neighbour went on holidays.

I heard about these methods and just /had/ to try them....

Hello,

Fascinating stuff. Well, I don't really see any problems with this getting into the Edited Guide. I suppose the Sub Eds might tinker with the formatting slightly, but I don't see any real problems with it myself.

Yours,
Jake

Apparently there is even some kind of World Record, or Guinness book of records category for the number of chickens hypnotised ... that might be worth researching and adding to the entry.

I know this because I knew the (now sadly deceased) Mr Steve Fairnie, artist, sculptor, Charlie Chaplin Impersonator, pop star (minor early 80s sensation the Techno Twins) who also held the world record for hypnotising chickens.

I would love to try this but I don't have any accessible chickens. Is there a reason for doing it, other than sheer curiosity? Or a history behind this Ozzy 'art'?
Wz

Hello,

Okay, I can't wait any longer. In the Song "Lust for Life", Iggy Pop sings:
"I've Been Hurting Since I've Bought The Gimmick
About Something Called Love
Yeah, Something Called Love.
Well, That's Like Hypnotizing Chickens."

Just felt like sharing.

Yours,
Jake

ROFL! I like it!

I don't know if I will ever find myself a chicken that I need to hypnotize -- but if not, I can compensate by having handy a fantastic dinner conversation item.

"By the way - do you know how to hypnotize chicken...?"

I do recommend this!

The difficulty isn't with hypnotizing a chicken, but rather in getting them to attend hypno-therapy sessions in the first place. They are notoriously stubborn to change as everyone knows.

Seriously though, just thought I'd mention, in reality you aren't hypnotizing a chicken when you do this to them, you're temporarily shorting out their tiny, highly unadaptable little brain, possibly killing brain cells in the process.

This can have serious ramifications, nobody wants brain damaged chickens running around and you certainly couldn't eat one. The mentally challenged have more rights than ordinary folk, so be careful or you may wind up spending your days pushing a mentally challenged chicken around the yard in a little wheelchair and wiping it's beak after it's had it's feed and changing it's adult diapers.
~§~
§hadow

[From time to time, every man is tempted to hoist the skull and crossbones and slit a few throats.]

I'm afraid its not merely an Australian thing. I've know about it since my childhood days (lo, these many years ago.) And you don't need to draw the line after the chicken is positioned, any pre-existing narrow line will do.

What I'm curious about is how this came to be discovered. I'm trying to imagine the circumstances -- no luck.

Another one that mystifies me in this respect is that it is possible to hypnotize an alligator by lying it on its back and rubbing its stomach. (Now, *that* might be an interesting Aussie bar room game.)

Baton

Darn! I forgot to say that I think what's there is fine, but to stop without exploring the 'why' aspect of something like this is downright un-guide like.

For instance, a simple web search on MSN using the phrase 'hypnotizing chickens' gave me a hit on a site named "Vegetable Gardens of the Columbia Basin," which in and of itself is an interesting result. It has an article about the subject and a discussion of a claim Al Gore made on the Regis Philbin Show about performing this mystifying feet.

The author was a chicken farmer and tried Gore's trick, it didn't work. However, experimentation showed that all the hypnotism methods that did work involved holding the chicken's head down. He went straight to the task and tested his hypothesis. He found that just holding the chicken by its feet upside-down and soothing the bird worked just fine.

Incidently, Iggy Pop's song was the second distinct hit from the search.

Barton

I don't see why this shouldn't go into the Edited Guide. Nice work

Incidentally, is there any practical reason for doing this, other than the comedy factor?

I just wanted to say that this is a great entry. It's exactly what the guide is for, as I see it. It's like a user's guide of life, the universe and everything. And one type of the things in this universe is chicken. And this is one of the ways in which they can be used.
Also, it is very funny, and I am all for that kind of stuff in the guide.

GREAT JOB!

Uhm, sadly to say the practical purpose of hypnotizing a chicken is followed shortly by it's beheading, plucking and preparation for dinner. The reason you do it is so that they don't go kicking, scratching and screaming to their deaths as rabid chickens are wont to do. I spent time on a farm, this is true, minus the sarcasm of course.
~§~
§hadow

[From time to time, every man is tempted to hoist the skull and crossbones and slit a few throats.]

Fair enough, but what about just blowing its head off? Quick, painless, no scratching etc.
Or is that not nice?

Blowing a chook's head off can still cause it to run after you happily. I /never/ understood how it is a chicken with no head seems to unerringly run after the person most likely to be totally freaked out by this.

Oh, I should mention that I've read the replies to this and am debating what next to do with the article. Some seem to think it's fine as is, other's that extra bits need to be added. I'm sitting in the middle; so when I get more time, I'll look at it again.

Thank you everyone!

Hello,

I think it's fine as it is. Nice and to the point. And I totally think this is quite appropriate for the Guide (I certainly learned something).

Yours,
Jake

About just blowing its head off - it's a bit dangerous. I mean, using a weapon like that. And also, if you have farm and need to do such things many times, it's rather expensive. Easier just to hypnotise it and cut its head off.
And another thing - so what if it's usually used to kill the chicken? It's a good usefull tip for a hitchiker who might get stranded with nothing but a live chicken, and he'll have to eat it. Or just anyone who has a chicken he wants to eat. You can't put the guide on the side of the vegetarians just like that, by not getting this entry into it.

No worries by me, after all I AM one of the one's that delights in terrorizing the fish in H2G2's Fish Sanctuary by demanding the opportunity to catch, whack, scale and eat em'. I keep trying to tell that silly dragonfly that guards them that with a touch of chocolate she'd be a tasty treat to me too, so she's not really safe either. Sadly, I've not managed to catch a single one thus far...anyone willing to start a H2G2 Chicken Sanctuary? I think I've got the method for catching them sussed. Heh, heh, heh!
~§~
§hadow

[From time to time, every man is tempted to hoist the skull and crossbones and slit a few throats.]