h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The doors on an underground Train are another source of stress. The close without warning and with inevitable force. I once went on a school trip to the science museum in London. The accompanying teachers lived in fear of half the kids ( there were about thirty of them ) jumping on the train and being whisked away before they could fight their way on. Of course most of the kids were hoping for this very same thing.
The length of time for which the doors open is inversely proportional to the number of people wishing to go through. Leading to a small group of people who have actually been trapped at the centre of busy trains since the day before. You can see them fighting vainly against the inrush of new passengers at each stop. I actually think some of the tramps on the underground are indeed commuters who have simply lost the will to fight the crowds and now simply go with the flow.
Another terrifying aspect of tube doors is the way they slope inwards. I am very tall and have a phobia of the doors closing on my head. This leads to me leaning into the train and all the associated risks of being mistaken for a pervert trying to kiss the women in front
A final word of warning. Don't, what ever you do, stick you hand in the door in the hope of stopping the train long enough to get on. This is futile. The doors will not open again and there is no garauntee that the train will wait. If you are on the train, trying to exit, then you face the prospect of a painful few minutes to the next stop, scraping all the muck off the tunnel walls with your fingers. If you are trying to get on. Then you will have to deal with the disappointement of seeing any watches, jewellry and possibly even the arm of your best suit, stripped off and whisked away into the black void.

They were actually nice enough to put a warning signal on the new trains. But if anyone has ever noticed, this starts when the doors are halfway closed anyway.

Some people have been very seriously injured by getting stuck in tube doors, so really watch yourself.

For more on this visit the following page

http://victorian.fortunecity.com/finsbury/254/tuberules.html#doors

Indeed. I'd be less worried about the arm of my suit than of my arm.

I actually had the doors close on my head on the Jubilee Line during rush hour.
I was trying to get in an already packed carriage, and *whomp* those inward-sloping doors hit me in the head. I was knocked out and ended up on the floor (somehow the doors closed behind me and the train left the station). I woke up a few seconds later and some kind souls took me out at the next station until I came to my senses. I now have tubeadooraphobia.

I am used to vicious doors but I suppose that viscous doors are some new-fangled thing on the Kubilee Line Extension.

But it's still very funny for the other passengers when it happens.
I once saw a paticularly bombastic man get his head stuck and he was left with two black lines down the side of his face...and none of his 'friends' told him. Made my morning.