h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

MUCUS encourages all underground travellers to chat, make merry and converse, as you toddle back and forth from your air conditioned cells to your suburban hells. Rise up and tell your fellow passengers a Tommy Cooper joke, an anecdote, or play "pig in a poke". This is your moment, this is your perfect moment. Hold on that's been done before...

MUCUS - Converse, Conspire, Corrupt

Myself and a few friends tried this when we were last in London - it's amazing how many people REALLY don't want you to exist when you try to talk on the underground (admittedly we were collecting for Help The Aged, wearing bright blue T shirts and carrying bright yellow buckets...).

As the founder, and currently sole member of SNOT (LRT) (the Society for No Talking (London Regional Transport)) I feel I must protest at this wanton recommendation of chatter and merry making on the London Underground. It is bad enough that those who visit this great city from abroad must chatter incessantly without convincing the thousands of dour looking business types who travel every morning to engage in what will undoubtably be similarly dour conversation. We travellers cannot recommend chatter at any level for a number of reasons:

1) The tannoy announcements will become inaudable (as well as unintelligable)

2) A higher background level of noise will make it impossible to listen to the latest exploits of the American exchange student that is talking loudly on the other side of the carriage

3) It will create an atmosphere, the anti-thesis of what exists now, whereby travellers on the underground feel that they MUST take part in conversation else they will be a social outcast.

Talking must cease! SNOT campaigns for the immediate cessation of talking on the London Underground, and the promotion and reward for the current state of embarrassment that ensues upon uttering a single word that can be heard by others.

Ignore MUCUS, let SNOT rule the Underground!

With you on the Tommy Cooper jokes.
"I went to see my doctor the other day. I had to, he's ill. I said, "Doctor, I've broken my arm in three places." He said "Well don't go to those places."

Viva la revolucion!! MUCUS will win the day. SNOT and it's supporters will be overthrown by crack commando squads of militant drunk religious fanatics, creating mirth, diversion and ultimately conversation (Oh yes, they shall discuss) wherever they strike, and then depart in an amusing fashion.

Join the MUCUS army - http://www.h2g2.com/A122077

i don't know how soon this is going to reach you ­ quite soon I hope. My name's Pete and i write a weekly column for Time Out in London. I was wondering if anyone from Mucus might care to assist me on a journey along the Underground so I can witness at first hand your marvellous work. Cheers!

[email protected]

I've noticed one of your number has joined as a driver on the Northern line. He tells everyone at Morden to 'settle back and enjoy your Metros', keeps quiet till Kennington and then delivers a running commentary on every station the train stops at. A sample being 'and outside Charing Cross you will find Trafalger Square with the National Gallery, Nelson's column and about four million pigeons.' He's great and he manages not to say the same thing twice, or at least I've not heard him do it. He's fab.

That driver is superb....
He told everyone to get to know the person beside you, why, when this train fills up everyones going to get a lot closer. He screamed over the tanoy LET ROCK AND ROLL!!!

Glad to know he's still around. Haven't been on one of his trains for A-G-E-S! Was worried that he'd been gagged by the powers that be. That man deserves an official fan club.

I think we should start one!!!! Can you start a club with 2 people...I suppose so. We'll need to find out who this mistery bloke is...Get the word out, start asking questions... a leaflet campaign should be made underway What you think...?

I have a contact at Balham (gateway to the south) station. I'll find out what the word on the street (or should that be platform?) is!

Yipee I got him today.......on the northern line at 8:20
Gems today included
Change here for the curvey jiggley Bakerloo line and the circular circle line...
Hell its Friday, let the weekend start here, when you leave the train relax have a good day make it short and dont do any work.
Wishing you a ticketyboo day.
If any of you thought of cheating and getting of at stockwell for the victoria line to Kings x... nice try but it aint gonna work cos that ways bust as well. Get of at Euston where the bus will whisk you 30 seconds to King X. Once again I appologise for the escalators being bust, Id fix them myself but Im a driver not a mechanic.
Have an absolutely fabulous brilliant day boys and girls.

Great trip to work!

Wo-hoo! Yesterday morning,9.30 from Kennington via Charing X. Haven't been on one of his trains for months. He was very anxious that everyone should wrap up warm!! That man is fantastic.

Oh wow! Almost makes me want to get another job in London again, just to hear this bloke! He sounds ace!!

H&K
Z

Havent had him for ages...... Not fair Im agetting a bit depressed.