h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I had a plan on what to write today. But as I've been in so much pain all day long, and so cognitively non-functioning, I doubt I'll manage it.

so so so tired. But not tired. Fatigue is aweful.

I'm not sure you can ever truely understand fatigue unless you have had it. I got my first dose of it last year, from the chemotherapy, but was lueckily coming out of it, within a few months aftern treatment, and by Christmas, I thinkk the chemotherapy and radiotherapy fatigue had just about vanished.

Now its far worse than antyhing the cancer treatment threw at me.

I'm not entirely sure of the cause at the moment; it could be as simplistic as being hypo or hyper gycemia, as the steroids mess with my metabolism so much.

Of course, low thyroid can cause fatigue too, apparently; though I have less fatigue if I don't take the meds for the thyroid, which, is, utterly confusing and paradoxicle...

Like today.

woke, feeling fine; was a bit late getting up, as it took me hours to fall asleep, so I was about an hour later than useual getting up.

no muscle pain. no cramp. no brain fog, no disconnected feeling, no fatigue, movement easy and fluid (well except for my arm the nurse tried to distroy yesterday when taking blood which is in constant extra agony now).

o, got up, came down, took my levothyroxin, synthetic T4.

I'm on 75 McG which is still a relatively low dose I think, this was origionally one 50 McG tablet, and one 25 McG tablet, but now it is 3 X 25 McG tablets, as I can't get teh Mercary pharma brands in 50 McG it seems.

I switched to the mercary brand, as the other two brands I was on, made me even more ill; the mercary only makes me moderately ill.

Within 10 to 20 minutes of taking the tablets with a glass of water (no food for an hour or 45 minutes after taking it, to allow for absorption).

err, yeh, wihin 10 to 20 minutes, the brain fog descends, and the fatigue starts to set in, my thinking slows down, and cognition starts to dteriorate, typing gets slower, and more inaccurate, I start getting some words wrong, and find word recall difficult (bit like after I had teh stoke), and I start basically feeling so ill.

Then I have to eat, to be able to take the prednisolone.

4 MG.

it takes less than two minutes for the prednisolone to hit me (which is of course I'm told, stricly speaking impossible as its not yet absorbed. Well, the Drs are wrong, it hits me that quick).

I can barely walk. I can barely lift a cup with my hands/arms. cognition gets worse, thinking slower, my body feels heavier, and my movement is very slow and painful, muscles get weak, and sometimes painful/cramp.

By this point I'm useually noticing my entire body is vibrating inside; I have absolutely no idea waht this is; sometimes I more associate it with my chest area, so assume its heart palpitations (though the heart palps virtually stopped now, since I switched brands on the levothyroxin).

So I go to bed.

but of course I can't sleep; steroids are good for causing insomnia, and basically the body is on a steroid hit/rush, so sleep is useually impossible; and fatigue is not* tiredness... its so hard to describe really....

Tried to sleep again later in day, just to excape the eternal sitting down, doing nothing at all. couldn't sleep.

now I'm waking up a litle, as I'm nearing my second dose of steroids, so I might try do somthing.... maybe cook dinner now.

By the time I've eaten, taken the lower 2 MG prednisolone dose, then showered or bathed, I useually feel OK. - probably going out to the pub later, and by 2 AM I'll be wide awake and fine, but starting to feel actual tired, so I'll have to sleep, during the only bit of the day my body works and my mind is functioning. and, this isn't as interesting as my origional idea for the journal, but ... too bleh to have put that together... shall try again tomorrow, maybe... ,sleepy>

Oh. lordy. I should have foreseen that happening - got a phonecall from one of my most deranged friends, whilst I was cooking... and somehow agreed to go out to the pub with him tonight.... which means I'll be out to like 4 AM or something which means.... my sodium and potassium and hydration is gona be so utterly beyond redemption tomorrow and now I'm in a mad rush to finish cooking, and go beautify myself, and finding something daring and riskee yet enabling me to stay warm whilst out, to wear its ment to be cold tonight so ... not sure what I'm gona wear.... maybe the long ankle length skirt, leggings under, and a suitable top plus my new red jacket that was the most recent charity shop find (it was like 6 quid, and the brand new ones I was looking at before in the shop were like 60 or more quid each) I think .... my riding boots tonight... oo.... maybe I shoudl wear a shorter skirt, and put on my riding trouser/bottom/skinny fit things under, they go well with the riding boots... and they're warm ahh. seemingly I've woken up now... must take my final dose of steroids soon though with dinner

really rather hungover today. which oddly, isn't as bad as the medication side ffects..... and the meds didn't seem to totally whipe me out today in addition to the bein gwhiped out by the hangover spent most the day in bed, but with oddly working cognition Maybe I' not human afteral, perhaps that is just the obvious answer to why I get paradoxicle reactions to drugs and insane blood work results

Arm still in agony after it was butched by the nurse taking blood on Tuesday... elbow so swollen, and can't flex or bned er bnd bend the arm quite straight or fully back and twisting the forearm is ... all the fun of excruitiating pain

Drank four pints of water over yesteday evening, just to try combat any odd hydration affects of the booze in the body with sodium and potassim unbalanced already by the steroids etc which maybe helped four pints of Starlinist Stout in the pub, then four cans of guinness back at my friends... I'm such a total lightweight thesedays anything more than three pints is unusual for me now so... kinda odd I'm more functional today in some respects than I was yesterday various cramp going on in my legs an feet, as per normal, so walking is painful like useual, but nothing extra so