h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Pretty boring day here today

Got up... and pulled back the curtains to bright sunshine so nice and warm...

Too warm to need leggings or stockings...

so put the long black (I think linen maybe cotton) skirt on, which isn't as thick/warm as the red skirt, and hangs beautifully, and flairs out slightly towards my ankles (quite swishy), sort of hmm... not sure how you describe it, folded over bits... kinda like pleets, near the bottom 1/3 of its length, but, not top to bottom pleats, kinda cross and not long each... but they do sort of 'circle downwards' so arn't exactly straight side-to-side... hmm.

There's probably a whole complex set of terminology, that my previous 39 years of wearing clothes didn't prepare me for...

Well, guess everyone has to start learning it at some point...

anyhow, as it was warm, just wore that skirt, with no leggings, and the black cotton blouse I had on yesterday, until mid-afternoon when it got a bit cooler, so I put some beige leggings on, underneath the skirt. Oh, and white cotton panties today just in case anyone is insane enough to actually read this rubbish...

drank coffee in the morning, took morning meds, threw in some celluvisc eyedrops (starting to really think my left eye is recovering tear-production itself, which... oh I do hope they start producing tears again, as odd as it sounds, loosing the ability to produce tears, and thereby not being able to cry properly, due to the action of the chemo drugs... that's... Something which has made me so sad ) I mean, obviously, losing tear production is kinda nnoying in having to put drops in daily, but no where near as bad as the debilitation of the neuropathy and concentration and spatial awareness changes, losing the concept of time and, stuff, etc, but, well... Still horrible losing the ability to do such a human act as cry...

anyhow... then it was past breakfast time... closer to lunch...

so I had brunch.

a very large duck egg, some grated cheddar, and the last two slices/rashers of bacon from my Birthday Bacon, grilled, and sliced, made into an omelette

Came out fabulusly

Though, rather hungry now, this evening, rather early so maybe I'll do an early dinner soon.

In the afternoon i sorted through E-Mails, and cleaned the kitchen and utility room, including mopping and sweeping in them, plus rinsed through the purple dress I put in to soak last night, and hung that up to dry

Spent a while sorting E-mails, then replying to various people on the Mcmillen internet forums, including a newly diagnosed Hodgkin's lymphoma patient who sounds... very scared in an extremely familiar sort of way... had a hunt about on EBay but failed to spot anything marvelously good and cheap/bargan-esk...

Think I'll make an early dinner soon, stir fried chicken slices, mushrooms, beansprouts and noodles again, with sessamae oil, sessamae seeds, and soya sauce I think...

After dinner, and stuff, I'll shower... due to exfoliate today though don't need to condition my hair just wash it, as I conditioned it yesterday and, I think, this evening, I'll relax and potter about (need to do some tidying in the bedroom), in my new linen dress that arrived a day or two back... Almost certainly wearing leggings with that... its fairly short on me wel... sort of near knee length

Was reading some blogs and stuff online earlier, and spotted an odd 'trend', in a few T-girls, expressing their 'fear' or something, at going out the first few times, cross-dressed... 'fear'? why? nah. just dont' get that... Just seemed such an odd thing, to notice so many people having said on various blogs etc, all in simular ways... I guess I just don't really give a ... about what anyone might think/say etc... I mean... err... I don't even get why I should care, far less actually care...

Still hoping I've more weird left to discover.

Oh, and the moustache is coming on well... and feels OK... (thought it'd be feeling odd, or itchy, never having had a beard or moustache before)

right... food time I think... I'm starving... and I must eat up the last few fruit yoghurts from the fridge, before they're out of date, later

[Amy P]

It sounds like a gored skirt ... if that helps ...

Mol (skirt-wearer for 45 years but still not entirely sure of all the terminology)

I read this about identifying gender earlier, and thought of you.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/disability-34776343

OO... tar muchly both

hmm.... re that BBC article... -Surely it shoudln't stop me identifying my own gender though?

having said which. - my feet still 'smell female', as does err... not to say too much but... well, my armpits just before I wash, if I've not used deoderant are female scented now... seriously. - this all started with my drop in testosterone the scent thing, but, its not switched back yet as far as I can tell

err. and yes. male and female feet, and armpits do smell distinctively differnt err. I just know - see that hole... yes I did dig it that deep

In some respects I do often wonder to myself, why things seem to be 'so complicated' but... they just are... - yeh perhaps it was a bit easier wehre and when 99.9999% of the time we just knew that was a 'male' that is a 'female' and... it was all binary (or at least everything semeed more binary).

I've just ... gotten less and less binary... in oh so many ways
9digs a few more foot down deper in teh hole*)


labels are just so often as much so... not right for ... some people sometimes, some ways...
I've been through just about all of them at various times I think

as goes the gender identification thing, and being blind, I came to a simular realisation in a differnt light, not that long ago, and ahd to ditch my odnw label of being 'bisexual', in favor of 'pansexual', as, although at first I did wonder why yet another label had been identified for seemingly something that already had a lbel, it ... just fits betterer - hard to kinda explain, but, its I guess, less that 'I'm attracted to a female', and 'I'm attracted to a male', - = biexual, and, more that... I just honstly don't necessarily register or click that the person happens to be male or female... - theyre tall... slim... a scientist, an artist, a cyclist a trumpet player, a flutist... they're all just... just aspects of a person and the fact they're male/female/whatever is just... right way down low on the list of important features about them, down somewhere at teh bottom of the pile along with which town they were born in, or what colour their skin happens to be er... (I think that makes sense?)

Oh.... even I am doubting hether I can wear this new gorgeous red M&S linen dress in public.... = its.... a bit shorter than I thought at first and... err.... = i really would expect W to say 'you're not going out dressed like that!', were I to try go out in this its a front buttoned tunic style one, though, so I might... be able to pretend I've some dignity left to preserve, and add a few more buttons onto the bottom fo the line that is alreayd there, to make it ... a bit ... longer

I think* I can just about get away wearing this dress in public... with stockings it kinda hides a bit the fact that it is quite as short as it is... Hmm.... Assuming William will let me out of the hosue wearing it 8twirls* oo... so... sort of floaty still... mind... I best not twirl like that in public unless I want everyone to know what colour my knickers are

Oh.... lordy.... In some respeects..... I just don't get any 'better' do i? must go find some breakfast.... not sure... maybe eggs again... or... dunno.... not sure what lese is lurking in the fridge...

That is an interesting article. Made me uncomfortable with the phrase "this not knowing if I'm talking to a man or a woman is something new and disconcerting." because I'm not sure when it should really matter, but then "which pronoun do you prefer?" is spot on.

It would be easier for binary people if things were assumed to be more binary, but for the nonbinary people it wouldn't be... Even now, I find it isn't easy to get people to see *me* rather than what people judge me to be, even though I do try quite hard to project the right image... My partner's friend who can't see me didn't seem to be disconcerted when we met in person for the first time, though, so that was interesting and perhaps demonstrates my voice is more me than I think it is!

I'm interested in the scent thing - can you put into words what the difference is?

" 8twirls* oo... so... sort of floaty still... "

That's a fabulous description! Glad to read you're enjoying your new purchases

yes... I thought that use of the word 'disconcerting' just... err, not sure if I found it odd, or just... err... incomprehensible I just don't think I'm necessarily over conscious of wahter if I'm talking to a biolgoical male or female, actually makes any differnce really, much, how i'd interact with someon e anyhow

the scent thing... no... - perhas its more feramones I'm picking up, differnt ones I'm making now? BoB knows! - though my own scent has ... gone back to more how It was in some ways, I think, definatel not totally so

<wah.




William didn't let me go out in the short dress... - well, yeh, even i thought it a bit short, and given the temp outside, perhaps a sensible move really

so I wore my long black skirt, a purple top and a red beaded jacekt

stopped in the Street and talked a while with a local pub landlord we know well... who either didn't seem to notice, or didn't comment that I'm dressed a little differntly than he's used to having seen me - mind, he didn' t comment on my moustache either had a look round the charity shops, but notihing really much cept one blouse, but I wasn't sure on teh size or matterial, so didn't bother

bought a random collection of ingredients that I'll now have to try construct soemthing from for dinner...
pork chops... kidney beans... tomato sived stuff err pasanta? err, potatos... and, err, not sure now probably some other stuff too... oh, and butter and bread

W liked me in the new dress though... judging by his response to it