h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

OK. its probably nothing but.

There's a new lump under my armpit. exactly same space as the ... previous one... which was, also, of course, 'probably not anthing'.

I've. err. been. err. ... OK. lets face it, I'm being forced* to go to the docors tomorrow yeh. I'm that* terrible at this stuff

oddly, or not, of course, this lump feels kinda quite dffernt.... more painful, well, painful at all for a start, the first one never hurt.

guess it could just as easily be scar tissue under, from radiation, and ther eis a bit on the surface that may actually just be some kinda spot/boil or somehting, but.

but; as I'm so obedient, and well-behaved, I am phoning the GP surgery in the morning, to try make an appointment for tomorrow.

also, or, instead of, if needed, I'm in Hospital Monday anyhow, for a brain CT scan; which is late in the day, so could if needed go to oncology earlier in the day, and try grab a doctor or something

body so all kinds of aching, which I guess is the testosterone still, probably worse today than yesterday. back very sore too, and joints esp knees, hips, etc., left arm is... hurty too, esp the shoulder area (again probably radiation maybe I guess).

Hmm.

more positively. err. the testosterone has ... worked in one other respet err... well, I thought I oughta do an experiment and find out if it'd ... affected that at least

just cooked W and I a risotto, for dinner. think I need a shower now, so many sweats again today, they're so not the same as the hot flushes I was getting, whilst menapausal, but, sort of end up with same end results I guess.

managed to nap for a bit, probably less than an hour, this afternoon. - just feeling so tired and aching again; its like a throw-back to 2 or 3 months ago, mid-swing through chemo

Well. - there may, of course, still be more weird left for me to discover It'll hurt... whatever they do

...waiting with bated breath and hoping for the best...

< chicken soup >

We'll see. Kinda just wish I sort of cared, more, one way or the other, really. Chemos nuked so much of my brain out, I just .. have even less sense of self than ever I did, and I don't feel I had a great amount to start with... I'd probably re-do treatment again, if needed, just for something to do, though I'm not entirely sure why anymore.

Well, you need to rest up and get to a point where you do care. Apathy and fatigue are your enemies. Again, you need to make notes of your concerns so you don't rely on memory when you visit the doctors and it might be a good idea to record your discussions with them.

Also, maybe you should replace one or two of your doctors. Especially that one who refused to listen to your symptoms.

Don't really get any choice in doctors; but, luckily, the doctor who didn't listen to me, err, OK the three doctors ... if not four, they've kinda all ditched me anyhow; oncology/hematology at the hospital refuse to talk to me. - gone through the patient leiason peoplle; they gave me a curtasty call to say they'd recieved my E-mail/complaints; then they've ignored me too I'm running out of people to talk to.

on the otter hand; my GP is dinamite - oddly, and coincidentially, he's from the same, tiny tiny village my grandmother is from, and hence from wehre my MOther was from

he not only listens to me; he's througher and asks me questions on things he doesn't know about; today he queeried my knowledge on hypopituitarism; knowing that I'd know more about it than he

so.

I saw doctor.

he thinks ist might be a lymph node, so is kinda re-refering me to the hospital oncolog/hematology. - however, it may be an infected soemthing, so I've a 7 day course of antibiotics.

Still no firm, causal definitive information about hydroccortisone dosage; every single person I ask says soemthing differnt. I'm going to ignore them all hwen it comes to hydrocortisone and just wing it.

the fun just never ends, eh.