h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

as. my oncology consultant called me today. seriously.
I'm sure one isn't ment to be in tears of laughter during oncology consults....
she was flirting with m! seriously! - I dunno.... maybe she's just not had a ptient before, in slave collar and chainmail... dunno....

some nurses can get a needle into my chest first time. others can't. pain is just a movment of impulses on a neurone. hence it doesn't hurt always. or at all

some nurses pull lines our of your chest, with force, and do it right

waiting for hours and hours, just for the drugs to arrive, then logner, for a 'seat' to be free in teh chemo ward... is... so boring.... - giving myself hearing loss, listening to much loud metal/rock

chemo may be shortened, radiation may be bought forward; because I'm so cool, cute, indistructible and all kinds of weird. or... I'm sure what my consultant said err; depending on PET- but first time in word, as such, her saying their confedence I'm indistruvble and have ridded my body of teh lymphoma sufficienty to consider this; prob some more ch chemo first; for overkill, after next one, on 9th ; then rad for a week or two everyon on #ABVD says the rad is a breeze in comparason.

I still seem to ahve hair

they're taking me off the Vinblastine; the one that is causing my loss of sensativty/feeling in fingers; perlipheral neuropathy.

walked home from hospital, to get fresh air, and exercise, and , save waiting for cab, nice half hour, hour walk home. ate pizza. chips. salad, gataux, icecream, had a beer; err, I gouess I don't get the idea, of everyone else I've talked too; by where they feel err... 'ill' after chemo I'm just glas I can get fresh air again, and move my legs!- all kinds of otter stuff too; weird stuff with my endochrine, which... I kinda can't work out... and they ... seem a bit... lost on too ; have less anti nausea tablets, basically no post chemo drugs, as I'm so hip and cool. and indistructible, natch. - I think I kinda frighten them.

was going to ahve second beer. was told not too. so I won't. think I'll go upstairs, and find bed, if I can fit in round pillow pets/teddys and Sir doubt I'll sleep though. I don't do sleeping. not like other people do. its annoying sometimes. 22 plus hour long days, can stretch a bit.

must... something... oh. go to bed. like I was told. I'm a good.... boy... girl... err... thing, afterall wonder when the new pets/teddys will arrive.


damnit. can't wear slave chain/anklet; ankle too damn swollen from saline/meds damnit... and my fingers can't quite handle teh clasp thing on taht; not when its that tight fitting ,grr> yet... hmmm. need more chainmail.

Still have hair

William gone home today, but popping over tomorrow.... and... I might... have to for him to stay over... if this pain doesn't ... stop... or reduce a little over night... ouchy. ouch ouchy ouch ouch.

hmm. my synesthesia methods of pain control, even when combined with a cup of jasmine tea, has failed...

not even cance rpain of course... bluddy chemo sideaffects I guess... tis either a load of gastro-intestinal cells deciding to do some serious cell division as they are prone to do (noticed that a lot last couple months), but... all at once... and quite 'low down' as it were... or... and maybe more likely... of all... things... err, maybe soemthing like constipation pain... - constipation, like nausea, not sensations I've ever had in my life, before, so, I can't relaly say for certain, what either is 'ment' to feel ike bit low down... though... hmm, below descending colon... if my physiology serves me correct...

I. might. have to weaken a bit. and... like take some meds... - not pain meds. that's for wimps.

ahh. got it. got it damnit!

-- its a sort of... thorbbing pain... comes and goes... quite slow ... throbbing... gaps between it... if... I can... hang on... yep... close up gaps...... move it to a singularity of pain... and... just about... that's easing.... consolidate into a single non thorbbing..... and... synesthesia..... green... purples... and... damnit... close... that might work wehn I'm not concentrating on tping.... may try that when I get into bed, try sleep....
yes! think I can think that pain away too!

and. no one believes I'm indistructible.

gone. stoped it! hussah! ; only thing is I can't concentrate, on doing that, and sleep at same time...

think I'm gona have to pop a sleeping pill tonight... damnit. bluddy failure... but... sleep even the naff sleeping pill type, woudl be nice... night befor echemo was rubbish sleep, and few nights before that were even worse, all two hours max.

damnit. now the bleomycin is having a bash. - pain in chest/lungs... damnit not sure I can think both away at same time... need to concentrate too much

Sounds like you're having a baby.

It feels like it- but I'm getting menapause symptoms at teh same time!- so very confusing.... perhaps I'll get a sex-change thrown in for free on the NHS as part of the chemo treatment... TBH wouldn't bother me anyhow! I barely noticed when they said I'd go infertile.... like ... I really care much

well. today's been fun so far... so groggy from sleeping tabs; and not entirely convinced I didn't accidentially take twice waht I should.... or, rahter four times the consultants dosage ; which for me, appretnly gives like 6 to 7 hours sleep so groggy though... burn my hands like hell cooking breakfast and knocked over ldoger's wine glass; caught it mid air, somehow!- jhiss k cocktail shaker/mixer made it onto the floor though... but luckily taht is mental William here now brain... so muddy.... luckily; with the extra teddys in bed last night I was able to position them.... half supporting my back, half pushed up hard again abdomin, and a couple left over, to cuddle tightly over my chest,a dn snuggle my face into - struth... I am tulrning into a teenager girl! hmmmm... maybe that'd explain... teh.... err... re-err.... alterations in breast shape I'm getting

Not that it matters, but I had heat flashes the last couple months I was pregnant with PaperKid

I've a feeling, what with all the chemical junk I'm putting min myself, from chemo... meds etc, and other stuff going on in my blood steream; I've got some pretty crazy hormone/endocrine action too, and... well; just in general all my hormones are ... gona be rahter unpredctible.... - just spent 6 hours in bed, with jWilliam..... well, a nap I guess; he slept, of course I didn't, but I got really subby kinda sapced out, sleepy sort of drowsy kinda restful, and endochrmine wise... kinda very silly at times...a nd... not at aothers... I mainly spent time, hiding under and cuddling the menagerie; currently at 7 large pillow pets in teh bed which is a serious squeeze, when its just me in the bed... with me and William... well... its kinda funny
Oh. and I may change my name to erstwhile. and Wjilliam his to willem... just... because.... we're... I'm very silly.

I might actually... go proper made... mad... jsut for a while... it'd simply simfply simplify things in teh short term I think.
restorative cup of jasmine tea, then I may shower... adn then we can think about food