h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh my God, what a game

I've just made it back from watching THE MIGHTY BLADES stuff Crystal Palace two-one in one of the best games I ever seen. We spent forty minutes of the first half in total control of the match - Ndlovu scored a lovely goal and the wonderful Paddy Kenny saved a penalty.

Then the fun began

On 40 minutes Paddy has to dive at the feet of an incoming Palace player and as result of his brave save is badly injured and eventually has to be stretchered off. As company policy the BLADES do not include a goalkeeper as one of their five substitutes So, along comes Phil Jagielka to fill in for the injured Paddy. All well and good until you remember that Jags is not a goalkeeper, he's a central defender.

Slight panic stations here?

Not a bit of it. In the last moments of the first half The Chief (that's Wayne Allison to you) steps up and nicks a headed goal to put the BLADES two nil up

Second half - Palace as you can imagine come storming out to try to take advantage of our weakness in goal. In response we manage to both defend in depth and attack hard on the break, and got a few chances through the course of the half. But it was always going to be Palace who were going to come forward the most. Sadly in the course of one of these Palace attacks Brown manages to get himself sent off for a dodgy tackle. Then a few minutes later the BLADES concede penalty which Palace duly slot away - come on it *is* asking a bit much to expect Jags to have saved it, and none of us blame him for letting it in

Then the game turns again, and it turns on a decision by the BLADES fans. A little chant of "Sheffield United" with the accompanying hand claps starts, and after about a minute of this we decide that we aren't going to stop! So for the whole of the last 15 minutes of the match, plus a couple of minutes injury time, you've got about 800 BLADES standing up, chanting, clapping their hands in time and making as much noise as possible.

Net result?

We *completely* silence 15,000 Palace fans. We lift our team, and we put a dampener on theirs. Palace do not score another goal, not indeed come anywhere close to doing so for the rest of the match - Three points to the BLADES




Oh, and before you ask. Yes, the referee was a w*nker

Oh gawd, it's footy season

Well done, GD. My boys, as you may have noticed, preserved Trevor Brooking's oily grin by losing 0-1 to the 'Unappy 'Ammers.

You don't have a spare striker we could borrow, do you? And no, not Ward - I said a striker.

Congrats GD - but all I can say is ...

We are top of the league,
say we are top of the league

... well, we're second anyway

Cracking start to the season and the bambi-esque Dennis Lawrence has scored two goals

It was a joy to watch. I reckon in terms of emotion and excitement that the only game I've seen that tops it is last year's play-off semi against Nottingham.

Nights like last night make all the bad times worth bearing