h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

For those who aren't aware, there's a 'competition' running on h2g2 cooked up by <./>The Post</.> or more accurately, Skankyrich.

It's a writing comp as such, and I (perhaps a tad foolishly) put my name down for it.

It runs a little like X-Factor, or Strictly Come Dancing, or Pop Idol, if you like - with three judges (Skanky, MS GB and Pinniped) judging work that is submitted under specific guidelines, with h2g2 users voting for their favourites.

There are 14 brave souls on this quest, and the first round went off very well: A45546744 after introductions were made we all had to write an Entry using the word 'shell' as inspiration.

And this was my effort: A45688918 Using a Shell to Hear the Sea

The judges did there bit, and the next issue of the Post had the Stretcher results: A46143948

And it looks like I was pretty well rumbled!

Pin and Skanky caught me out. I enjoyed writing the Entry very much, but it only took me a couple of hours, with some brief research on the net and in me science type books at home. I didn't Stretch myself at all really, and just had fun. So I guess it showed. A nice way to ease into the aspects of the game.

But the next challenge caught me un-awares. Like a teddy bear.

To write about a subject that got the 'unwashed masses emotionally overblown' in as much, and write it for the Edited Guide - so it had to go into PR. Yowsers!

For four days of the week-long deadline to write something my brain thought and thought.

Chewing gum, that's a pain in the arse, what about that? I could write about the ban in Singapore and how it gets caught in your hair, or how you always find it under your seat. But there was an EG Entry about it already.

What about how pensioners expect you to be polite, but when they have no manners it's okay? Perhaps hard to be balanced in my argument there?

Then a friend came to my aid. He popped around on the Saturday night, and low and behold he had an e-cigarette. An electronic cigarette you put liquid nicotine in and 'smoke' - without smoke. He said it was great because he could now smoke in the pub again.

So it hit me!

A46345502 The English Smoking Ban of 2007

I wrote it up, and am reasonably pleased with my effort, but I feel it's more like an essay I would have written during my nurse training, and isn't quite 'hootoo' enough for my liking, or perhaps doesn't have much of my own 'voice' abut it.

We'll see. It seems to be going down okay in Peer Review. Will have to wait a week now to read what the Stretcher judges thought of it!

I saw this in this lunchtime, and my first thought was that it would be extremely difficult to think of a subject you could cover in the EG. If it allowed the AWW, it would be easier!

Yeah, but then the desire to just have a rant would be too string I think. Good call be the judges.

It was tough, and I think it sure did stretch us all. Looking forward to the next challenge though, and I'm pretty sure that'll be a creative writing piece for the AWW in some way...

Well, this week's scores are in. Pretty happy with the judges decisions and critique overall, but not sure why Skanky is riding me so hard...

But to be honest, I'm not 'really' enjoying it as much as I thought I would. The reasons behind my writing not being as entertaining perhaps as it usually is, well because I'm being forced to write about things I'm not really interested in to be honest.

And this next challenge is one I hate too. Love poems? Please. What are we writing for, Hallmark come Valentine's Day? Sheesh.

Not going to take part now I'm afraid, too much on in real life, and h2g2 needs to take a backseat.

My love is like
A red, red rose.
He pokes me in the eye
And scraches my nose!




I will miss you

The first couple of lines were harsh. In fact, when I read them back on-screen it has a totally different emphasis to when I wrote them in my head. Doesn't quite convey the fact that the choice of headers and quotes was inspired, does it? I'd be pretty annoyed if someone wrote that about my work, and you have my unreserved apologies.

I hope you stick around - you'll be missed, an awful lot

Rich, you don't need to apologise, it's nothing to do with the Stretcher or your comments, so don't feel that. Honestly.

I need a break from hootoo, or I'm liable to say things online I really shouldn't. I'm not enjoying it at all at present, and like I said somewhere, I thought The Stretcher might rejuvenate my passion, but it hasn't really, and that's kind of obvious in what I've written of late (which you've picked up on).

I'll be about, but not as hi-vis if you like

I'd be devastated if my review was anything to do with you leaving, even if it was just the final straw. You're a top fella. If it's just bad timing, that makes me feel a little better, but the competition and the site will still be a lot poorer without you.

Good luck in whatever you do, anyway

In all honesty I was to-ing and fro-ing last night with the retirement / dropping out business, and I think it is more bad timing than anything else. I felt that my writing on-site was just not what it could be, and really need to get away to come back refreshed.

The comp will do just fine without me, in fact I look forward to reading and being inspired by the better writers. I might still submit work if a challenge takes my fancy in future, but I think it best I give myself a breather.

Thanks again Rich, for all your hard work and enthusiasm, I know it's not easy keeping the momentum up, and if I can help out behind the scenes a little, do let me know. I'm not promising anything, but I'm about the place

I'll hold you to that