h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A482988

A look at one of history's most-hyped figures, the Japanese ninja, and an attempt to get an idea of who they really were, and what they were doing.

The Prophet

I'll just briefly comment: as I said before this is a great entry, and should be placed in the Edited Guide forthwith!

Hello,

Part of being a scout involves mastery of killing with a single touch and quick escape. Hence, I am familiar with much of the Ninja information you describe.

Seriously though, it's a very nice entry. Aside from a few typos, I don't really have any problems with it.

Yours,
Jake

There's a funny website called "ninja burger" out there that presents a fictionalized food delivery service.

This article reads as brilliant - at first. Or rather ninety percent of it. The history of the ninja and the explanations of how their mystique came about are truly superb. I would have given this 11 out of ten until the end. Unfortunately it kind of descends into a rather personal rant about how crap the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were. And BTW I agree, they were appalling but the bit at the end doesn't sit very well with the rest of the article.
Apart from that, as I said, this is quite brilliant. Well researched and absolutely packed with information. Nice work. This should go into the guide with all speed (without the rant at the end) imho.

A few minor typos

black clad not black glad - first sentence.

Saught should be spelt sought (paragraph begining Probably around 500-700AD)

'Nijutsu' in first paragraph of Ninja now section.

The articles tends towards some first personisms at the end.

Orcus

I thought the ending was very appropriate - much of the entry refers to the myth and inaccuracy of film and books describing the Ninjas - TMNT in children's cartoon form were just the ultimate humiliation in this series...

If I recall, the nunchaka was used to good effect to deflect arrows and get thrown at escaping bad guys to stop them getting away. Another example of stark realism on Children's BBC...

Well, maybe but it descends in to the use of first person and becomes a bit unbalanced in my opinion.
Sorry but I thought it changed from a hard, razor sharp piece of writing into a bit of a rant. Just my opinion. I've no objection to a rubbishing of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (are we allowed to call them that on the BBC? ) but

"And the less said about the sub-hip, pseudo-streetwise rap soundtracks 12 the better."
What relevance does that have?

And it could probably just lose this paragraph

A few changes were made of course. Now the Turtles' sensei had been banished as a result of some ludicrous stunt pulled by his rival to dishonour him (no women or deaths were involved); he hadn't been killed but rather he had been mutated into a giant rat by the same gunk which - for some poorly explained reason - turned the turtles into half-humans; the organised crime syndicate was an army of robot ninjas; and the villainous Shredder was now the rather camp and useless pawn of a brain-in-a-jar alien would-be world conqueror from another dimension. With the effort and imagination put into the conversion, you probably cold have come up with something better. There was still lots of fighting, but there was also much humorous surf-talk, pizza-guzzling and wise-cracking, and the only people who ever got sliced open were robots with funny-shaped heads


Unfortunately this ending spoiled it for me, the rest, as I said is brilliant.

Go ahead and rubbish the TMNT but not at such length - it does get kind of vitriolic.

Orcus

Who's normally nowhere near this harsh in his criticism its just I don't like to see a great piece of writing like this spoiled at the end. BTW I'm a real history junkie, I love it so I would be bound to love the begining and middle parts of this article the most.

The turtles bit at the end is intended to be a case study of the treatment of the ninja in popular culture. If more people think it gets a bit personal I can try to tone it down a little.

And that's a Tom Lehrer quote isn't it, MRD?

The Prophet.

Hmm - you're probably right Orcus. The rubbishing of the turtles on TV could be usefully put into a seperate entry, with a briefer comment-in-passing in this entry. That way it can get the focus it 'deserves'...

Yep - tis a Lehrer saying - I hesitate to say quote for five words - from "When you are Old And Grey"...

..."nevertheless his love for her will shine on through the years: Another example of stark realism in the popular song."

Best CD I ever purchased...

Oooh I'm glad we're all still friends
Tis a truly excellent article.

Glad you like it. Anyway, the Turtles have been cut down somewhat, and much of the spleen removed formthat section.

The Prophet.

Live the entry, oughta get in, I only wish more people would comment on mine

One thing, somehting that I was critiqued for too - See if you can cut down header size so that no scrolling is required. It may involve slashing some beautiful words, but some sacrifices must be made.

Overall a very well written, and compelling article. There is a spelling mistake in the section of the fall of the ninja, in the first paragraph, second sentence, it says geat rather than great, but apart from that it is well written. It is hard to keep a long article going, without losing some of the thread, but I think you have managed it.

I thing the comment about the 'darn turtles' at the end jars a bit with the tone of the piece, but they deserve to be mentioned. It is just that phrase that does not seem to belong.

That is really nit-picking through, I could see no major problems with the entry. I hope you always write to this standard. Well done.

Nothing to say but that its fantastic now

Very well done!

I know it may seem trival, but:

"any sufficiently advanced technology would be indistinct from magic"
That should be 'indistinguishable'

Amd it should be, "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, is the truth" if I'm not mistaken.

Call in the scouts, and cart it off to the editors.

Barton

Those two little mistakes cleared up now.

The Prophet

You'll be glad to hear that your excellent entry has now gone into the Editorial Process for future inclusion in the Edited Guide. This means that the day will come when your Entry will be featured on the Front Page. Please keep in mind that the Sub-Editors are only humans (that's what I've been told ) and that the Editorial process may take some time. You'll be informed by Email when your Entry has made it.

Well done! I'm looking forward to the next one of that quality!

Jeremy

Editorial Note: This thread has been moved out of the Peer Review forum because this entry has now been recommended for the Edited Guide.

If they have not been along already, the Scout who recommended your entry will post here soon, to let you know what happens next. Meanwhile you can find out what will happen to your entry here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/SubEditors-Process

Congratulations!

Hooray!

Barton

Congrats Prophet - perhaps bouyed from this positive reaction, you'd consider putting some of your other excellent entries through peer review. Your entry on the Blood Countess, for example, might appeal to some of the more depraved elements on h2g2... You'll have to judge for yourself, of course - but at least give it some thought, eh?