h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

i don't know why there needs to be a distinction... some feel that online friends are easier to fall by the wayside...but not necessairily. i have both types, if one needs to separate them. both are equally hard to keep in good contact with at different times. people whom we consider friends are just that... friends, wherever they are and however they communicate. and they fulfill different needs in our lives, as we do theirs.

as some stated earlier, i also feel a certain freedom with writing to those who are not next door. i think most of that comes from a lack of fear. fear stemming from our vulnerability. people with information about us can hurt us, they know our weaknesses and fears. when this person is our next door neighbor or sits in the next cubicle, it is harder for us to face. these things that we know about ourselves but are not comfortable with, when known by someone we see, are brought to our minds more frequently. when these things are known by people half a world away, it doesn't effect us in the same way.

online friends are a wonderful source of support, information and comfort. other friends are exactly the same thing, but communicate it in a different way, through verbal talk, touch or eye contact. either way you look at it these people are people who are important to us.

Friend Peregrin, I can understand why you see the net as god sent. And that is absolutely fine with me! And I wish you all the best!

But: The downside of the net may very well be that a lot of people stay home instead of using their ability to go out and meet some RL friends.

I have recently forced myself to go out every evening and have at least one drink in a pub because I suddenly realized that I had been glued to the puter or the TV for weeks, even though I am really not carved out for that kind of life. I used to go out and make a lot of friends (yes, also girlfriends, but this is not just about sex) but then I got married for 18 years and after my divorce I have trouble finding back to my former lifestyle. I guess I'll just have to make an effort?

Wish me luck

Wishing you the very BEST of luck, darlin'! And meanwhile, here's a big, loving cyberhug for you until you find someone who can make them real.

Thank you, TM. I knew I could rely on you to do just that!

I think I owe it to you to tell you that my situation is not quite as pathetic as you would probably gather from that last posting of mine. I have had two girlfriends since my divorce - so I'm not entirely desperate. Not yet anyway

Good for you

I agree, it's definitely important to have RL friends you see daily as well as internet friends. If you have internet friends it's important to get a balance between the two.

Yeah, go for a balance, I reckon...

In a perfect world, though, I'd make all my friends online and then meet off the net - I find it easier to start talking to people and easier to work out whether I get on with someone over the net. And, as someone's already mentioned, it's much easier to stop talking to someone if you decide you don't really like them very much...

In the non-perfect world we live in, unfortunately, chances are most people you make friends with online will live too far away to meet regularly IRL. So, for an imperfect-world compromise: make lots of friends online, and make an effort to meet the best of them in real life; and make enough friends in real life to have people to hang out with regularly.

Easy

That said, there *are* advantages to talking to someone online - the net isn't just a place to meet people before dragging them into the real world. Sure, there are things you miss, but... hmmm... there are so many less distractions, I think is the key thing.

Anyway. Internet friendships are definitely a good thing, and in my opinion one of the best consequences of the whole 'communications revolution' - if not the best.

I look forward to the next revolutionary communications medium... grin...

26199

(Speaking as someone who took around three months to make new friends when he left highschool and went to a different 6th form college to all his mates

I think that the distinction between real-life friends and internet friends is definitely all about the type of communication. I've found that people I've met on the net I get along with quite well, but as I'm quite a sarcastic and negative person IRL, I have to be *very* careful to explain exactly what I mean.

But online communication has enhanced some of my real-life relationships. For example, I met an American exchange student here in Australia, and we got along really well. Before she left we made it a habit to talk through email at least every couple of days, and that way we had a habit formed that was hard to break when she left. I still talk to her all the time.

Perhaps a better example is a friend of mine who was having some emotional problems, and I emailed her to ask what was up. Because it was more confidential than a face to face conversation, she confided, and I wasn't afraid to offer advice or relate her experiences to my own. Anyway, to cut a long story short, the added dimension brought us closer together, and I've been going out with her for nearly five months now.

So yeah, they are different, but online and real-life relationships are not - nor should they be - mutually exclusive.

cheers
Rob

I think that the distinction between real-life friends and internet friends is definitely all about the type of communication. I've found that people I've met on the net I get along with quite well, but as I'm quite a sarcastic and negative person IRL, I have to be *very* careful to explain exactly what I mean.

But online communication has enhanced some of my real-life relationships. For example, I met an American exchange student here in Australia, and we got along really well. Before she left we made it a habit to talk through email at least every couple of days, and that way we had a habit formed that was hard to break when she left. I still talk to her all the time.

Perhaps a better example is a friend of mine who was having some emotional problems, and I emailed her to ask what was up. Because it was more confidential than a face to face conversation, she confided, and I wasn't afraid to offer advice or relate her experiences to my own. Anyway, to cut a long story short, the added dimension brought us closer together, and I've been going out with her for nearly five months now.

So yeah, they are different, but online and real-life relationships are not - nor should they be - mutually exclusive.

cheers
Rob

"If you have internet friends it's important to get a balance between the two."

You are absolutely right, Peregrin. The keyword here being "balance". To quote The Moody Blues life, universe and everything is all "A Question of Balance". I've lived by that philosophy for many years!

I have friends online and real life friends.
But I've met so many people off the net now, that most of my RL friends are the ones online.
But they're so far away.

But on the other hand we're right here!