h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

if you're a banker

I've always had my doubts about those cuckoo clocks.

The land itself, though, is harmless. Clocks and ski slopes contain their own hazards that have no causal relationship with their physical location.

The main hazard in Switzerland is to your bank balance. Everything is so damn expensive. Unless of course you're used to living in Europe. It was the most expensive place I flashed through last year.

The solution- earn Swiss francs.
The catch- obtaining Swiss citizenship.

Let me guess... Would you be an inter-railer by any chance?
I suppose you only 'flashed through' long enough to confirm the prejudices you packed along with your copy of 'Let's Go'.
If you were to spend some time here, rather than going to the usual tourist traps, you would find that many things here are a lot less expensive than in the UK. For example: CDs, cars, computers, restaurants, petrol, cigarettes, a beer, fruit and veg, stationery, tickets for football games, concerts, etc... Just about everything you need, in fact. (Apart from clothes and shoes, which I admit are a rip-off here.)
Check out my entries (when I've actually written something.)
P.S. I am not a banker.

Hi FCL-BW (may I call you FCL for short?). Seems like you're interested in my travels. My girlfriend and I visited the fair land of Switzerland from 20/7/98 to 6/8/98. Not long, I'll admit, but it was part of a ten month journey that took in 18 countries on 4 continents. That is why money was a concern. My main reason for going to Switzerland was to visit my Swiss friend Peter. Peter took us hiking in the Graubunden region, wandering along old trails through alpine meadows and sleeping rough under the stars and in old abandoned barns, a wonderful experience (and cheap). After that, Jackie and I visited Luzern, Interlaken and Bern (which was my favourite town in Europe). We didn't have much time to visit the usual "tourist traps". Yes, we used a Lonely Planet "Europe on a Shoestring" guidebook, and found it useful. We did our best not to carry any prejudices with us. We tried to ditch these when we were in Africa a few months before.
I'm sure Switzerland is not the world's MOST expensive country. As you suggest, the U.K. is also one of the contenders. Scandinavia too. When considering things expensive in Switzerland I was mentally converting prices into devalued New Zealand dollars. As another correspondent has noted - you need to earn Swiss Francs to have much purchasing power in Switzerland.
Perhaps it gets tiresome to be the object of so much package tourism and chocolate-box artistry, but Switzerland must be a lovely place to live nevertheless, particularly if you are lucky enough to have Swiss citizenship and a job that pays in hard currency. Enjoy it mate, and feel free to come down under one day, where you'll find another mountainous little country (with surfing too) where the Swiss Francs go a lot further. Cheers, J.B.

James,
Thanks for your comments. Did you get my response? (Swisscom prides on offering its customers that authentic retro '70's service.)
PS FCL = Fussball Club Luzern, of which I am a committed fan.

No. What response?

This response...
Sorry for jumping in with both feet after reading your initial comments.
The thing is, after years of living in Switzerland, I've found that whenever
I tell English people where I live, they look pityingly at me and say
"Ohh... It's terribly expensive there, isn't it?" They then proceed to make
some 'jocular' remark about cuckoo clocks or, in recent years, bankers
hiding money from Holocaust victims. After a few years of that I've
developed a bit of an 'attitude'.
I'm please that you enjoyed your time in Switzerland. Although I live in
Luzern, I have to admit that Bern is the more beautiful city, and also a lot
more lively. Don't let my Swiss friends know I told you so, however.
For information, I did visit New Zealand in 1997 with my girlfriend (now my
wife.) We were based in the thriving metropole of Rangiora (where
incidentally I was served the worst coffee I have ever drunk, in the
Victoria Tea Room) and spent two weeks driving around the South Island.
You're right, the scenery there is outstanding, at least the equal of
Switzerland and with better beaches to boot. As a European, I did however
find the emptiness of the place a bit disconcerting - the fact that you can
drive for hours without seeing another car. Another strange thing about the
kiwi driving experience is that you're actively encourage to run over
wildlife, well possums at least. Once I found out they were fair game I
managed to bag three and nearly put the car into a tree going after a
fourth.
Interestingly, both of us thought that prices in NZ were actually HIGHER
than in Switzerland. Perhaps there is some rule by which tourists always
underestimate the price of things 'back home'?
I also have some questions about New Zealand:-
Is it true that the 'fish' served in most of the countless fish and chip
shops is actually shark?
Is it true the Kea parrots will eat bits of your car and have been known to
attack and kill sheep?
Do people mind about the smoke from the wood-burning stoves that everyone in
Christchurch seems to use?
Is it true that the beautiful, empty beaches in South Island are unusable in
Summer (we were there in Winter) because of insects living in the sand?
Grüss aus der Innerschweiz

Isn't it funny what people find disconcerting. Throughout Europe, and other places in the world, I would be almost dumfounded at the number of people crammed into these busy cities. Travelling through the countryside it was town after town - people everywhere. I could never quite get used to the idea that there were so many people. You couldn't jet go and be alone on a mountain or a beach, like back in NZ.
To answer your questions, most "fish and chip" shops tend to use shark meat, which is cheaper than other fish. The better ones though will offer a menu of different fish to choose from, and you can be sure of what you're eating.
Kea are very inquisitive birds, and in the wild they need to be to find food. Places like skifield carparks, where large numbers of people enter the Kea's world, provide a lot of calorie-rich food for kea. Sometimes naughty people actually feed the kea! This means that the kea have full bellies, and nothing else to do all day except pull bits off cars, and steal gloves and socks! If you travel far into the back country, away from the influence of people, the kea are much better behaved. They are interested in you, but wary, and don't steal things so much. Kea are vegetarian, and NEVER attack sheep. Some, driven by hunger, may occasionally scavenge from a dead carcass which died from natural causes, which may give rise to the "kea attack sheep" myth.
Yes, Christchurch has a smog problem in winter, because of thermal inversion layers combined with wood-burning fires. The council are trying to minimise this problem. Coal fires are no longer allowed, and more efficient fires, and electric heating are being encouraged.
All beaches in NZ are safe in summer. Except if you swim in the water. People drown in the big surf and dangerous rips. Only the most popular beaches near cities are patrolled. Meanwhile NZ has a coastline longer than China's, more beaches than Greece, ocean-sized waves and a population who says: "No worries mate, she'll be right," at any sign of danger!
There is only one poisonous creature in NZ - the Katipo spider. This only lives in sand dunes, and is rarely seen. I have only seen one in my lifetime, and that was when I was with a guy who was actively searching for one. Even if it bit you, you would be highly unlikely to die. If you did, you'd probably be famous as the only person to die from a Katipo bite!
Cheers, JB.
P.S. Three possums is not a bad score. You shouldn't have risked your life going for the fourth!