h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Why of course i'm not.

good good
Once a guy asked me whether we had nitendo over here. I mean it's not as though nintengo is even American. Another asked me how the fog was[!] how long has it been since the last pea souper?!

Okay, so I've been away from the computer for a while,
You reponded with:
"What are you getting so pissed off about? This page is full of comedians who come on this page to have a laugh. Why are you bringing cow politics into it? Relax guy, put your feet up. I agree with you up the point where you say that most people who claim to have been cow tipping are lying. I know from experiance that co tipping is not as much as an easy task as they make it seem on heathers, but there are a few of us who have tipped a cow, it happens. So chill out, smoke a ciggarete, have a beer and relax."
Which sounds oddly like...
"I have one request. Take sometime to cool down, smoke a cigarrete, take a walk, or something before you reply. "
...which was my plea to you prior to your rebutal.
And one small little nit pick point.
"And in both England AND America.....

Grammar is spelled grammer,"
It's spelled Grammar in America and England. It was once spelled grammere in Middle English, but then who uses that anymore?

And then as I thought you were starting to see reason you followed up your reply a few replies later with:
"Any yankey redneck beer swiling piece trailer park trash that stands in my way shall be destroyed!!! (Now thats what i call sanity.)"
...which would negate any semblance reason. Your insults are actually a good example of a person running from the fact that they've been caught in a lie.

I asked for the charges you were brought in on by the police at the alleged cow tipping incident, and you replied with:
"in England the police arrest white, as well as black people."
which isn't really and answer to my question, but an unfounded attack on Americans. So I'll ask again, what charges were you brought in on?

The problem here is that your story has lots of holes in it and when ever I ask you questions to fill in the holes, you dance around the questions with insult. I admit I got caught up in the mud slinging a bit, but again, I don't understand what my being an American from Texas has to do with the fact that your story doesn't hold up?

Furthermore, your assumptions as to my social status are unfounded and rediculous. I'm not a red-neck, and if you knew the meaning of the slang red-neck you would quickly know that by the mear fact that I use punctuation in my writings that I have an education that surpasses the third grade. I'm not trailer trash, athough I'm not above hanging out with people of all social classes. I will however attest that I do like a good frosty brew.

Anyway, I feel that we probably are not going to reach a resolution here. I still feel you've lied about your supposed cow-tipping experience. Cow-tipping does happen, very rare, but it doesn't happen, but you kind sir, have not (based on your story) ever tipped a cow.

By the way, the cow tipping I have seen up close in personal is a rodeo event called Calf-roping, but that's entirely different.

I would also like to note that I don't have any problem with England, I may have made a slander in the heat of this debate as it flew of track, but I don't have any problem with the English at all. You are the one who started this whole stupid nation thing. And attempting to defend America against you personally is probably an exercise in futility as you know very little about America and will continue to slander Americans everytime I try to prove your story wrong.

If you ever wanted to know about America you are more than welcome to ask me questions about the steriotypes you've heard. I'd love to set the record straight. I'm sure not all British have bad teeth, a hurtful slander that if I was naive enough I could believe having never been to England.
As for poverty, well, I guess I could see how you could say there is more povery in America as there are many, many more people in America than in England. But per capita, or poverty rate is pretty low. I guess it also depends on your definition of poverty. I can probably get you to agree that America isn't exactly a third world nation.
As for no health care because we can't afford one? America can pretty much afford anything it wants. We have medicare, we have public hospitals and shelters, we have social security to take care of people after they retire.
As for the pound being worth more than the dollar,
1 Pound is equal to 175.041 Yen. You wouldn't say Japan is in ecomonic turmoil would you?
And as for the export rate, export rate means nothing when you consider the ratio of exported goods to imported goods.

But I'm not trying to say America is better than England. In fact until I met you I really didn't have any national pride to speak of because I find national pride to be wasteful and pointless. Like school pride or state pride. To tell you the truth I'd rather be called a homo-sapien and leave it at that rather than to subject myself to the inane classifications of white, male, middle-class, texan, coloradan, gen-x, Klein Highschool/ Texas Tech University graduate. Or any other further classifications that you can think of to talk past me and not to me. But that's just my opinion.

If you'd like to ask me anything about America, just send a letter to my homepage. As for the debate of you tipping a cow, I'd say by now it's pretty much over.

don't take everything so seriously America.
I've been to America and it's a pretty cool place it's just most of u guys are sooooo America oriented.
Anyway don't pretend u donb't have national pride. don't u sing to the flag everyday?

"Anyway don't pretend u donb't have national pride. don't u sing to the flag everyday?"
No. In fact, I haven't sang to a flag since I was 12. Do you sing to your flag every morning?

No, we just stick it on underpants and hats .

No, we just stick it on underpants and hats .

I'm a yank, and I think you are stereotyping us with some of your remarks. I live near Texas, and although Texans are pretty bass-ackwards it doesn't mean we're all drunken inbred hillbilly redneck cowporkers. And the only reason we can't afford national health insurance is because the congressmen who are avoiding DUI and checkbouncing arrests are giving our money to polluting oil companies, monopolistic tech companies, and overcharging military contractors. Now if you chip-eating stoic humoring grammar mispelling (we can spell it with 2 As if we want) prissy fruits have a problem with that then fine.

How's that for kicking things off?

Oops. Didn't realize there was a second page to the postings.

I think we have run into a bit of a cultural clash here gentlemen. To get the record straight, don't take an insult comming from an british man seriously. Its part of british working class culture to take the living piss out of each other. In britain, its not uncommon to walk up to your best mate and say, "Hello wanker," and for him to say, "Piss off homo." If that doesn't happen then you can tell that you can tell that your mate is unhappy or there is something wrong. In fact, british working class gents get insulted when a playfull little jive is taken the wrong way. This sort of thing starts in british men when we go to secondary (what you would call high) school.
As for my view of America, I have not got any problem with you guys. I myself am a very patriotic person and I have and will defend my stance of Great Britain as being the greatest nation in the world with good reason to back up my argument.
As for the cultural thing, it is part of british culture to take the piss out each other and think nothing of it. Its understandable if that seems very strange to you and if you have any questions about british culture then i'll be more than happy to answer them.
To mr. dark, this arguement about the cows is getting stupid, lets just drop it. No hard feelings.

Well said Dances. We Brits don't take everything as serious as u US guys. Anyway Dances who says middle class ppl can't take the piss out of each other. Well admittedly a whole load of them have their heads so far up their arses they can see what the inside of their heads look like (sry thats sooooo lame but hey I'm tired).

I'm sorry to say that, in fact, any decent spellchecker on one's computer will testify that 'grammar' is the correct spelling of 'grammar'. If you want to make sure of your spelling, why don't you try using a decent spellchecker? And I agree that you shouldn't get into heated arguments on the conversation forums. There isn't any point in it, and it isn't even very fun.
-Syorai

The thing about grammar was posted only beause I am very exact with spelling. It comes of being a fictional character created by someone who is (sort of) an author. My creator apparently wants to put in a word here:
[I'm also exact with spelling. And no, Syorai, I don't appreciate the 'sort of'. By the way, if you're wondering why my character is in charge of this account, it was my idea. Give her a little leeway, she's only a few months old and most of that time was spent 'sleeping' while I did something else. Even if she was created as a teenager.]
I resent that comment about the 'few months old'. I'm a teenager even if I was created four or five months ago. [Three or four, you mean.] No I don't.
-Syorai

well Grammar should be spelt Grammar that way we can all have a good laugh at signs saying Grammer [SIC] school. Hehehe.
British spelling is crap anyway (though and chef and all the rest of the imported words). The worst are the tions, cians, sions, and the shion. I mean what kind of pattern is that. BTW: I speak of someone who's had to try to learn all the rules as I can't learn to spell every word by its self (I'm a severe dyslexic).

Well, I should think it would be the cows rather than either the Brits or Yanks getting all hot and bothered on this issue. Be that as it may, the spelling and grammar of all parties was wretched - and 'grammar' IS with -ar, not -er (Arguably grammer would be something that grams). I grew up on a small dairy farm before "Heathers" and never heard of cow-tipping until lately. I have heard people claim to have done it, but have no idea if they have or not. It's a pretty funny idea. I would say a couple of things. One is we had very docile cows and also very skittish cows as well as one which was pretty belligerent (bull-igerent?). I don't believe that any of the cows we had would have attacked the would-be tippers, except the belligerent one. (My mother always said this one got that way because we made a 'pet' of it when it was a calf - 'pet' to us meant bothering it a LOT!). The docile and skittish ones would have run like h--l if a stranger began ramming against them. I can not imagine that any cow would stand still for 3 attempts. Moreover a running start of 50 meters would get anyone to top speed, I can only imagine that a 250 meter dash would be slower at the end than a 50-meter one would. Since the teller laims to have been on foot, I find the longer and longer running starts to be suspect. I ran the 'hundred' in college and believe me, at the end I was slowing down, not getting faster! I never thought of the weight of the cow before, but I wonder if this would have any effect if the cow were unsuspecting. If the feet were splayed apart, I am sure it would be impossible to tip the cow, but if the feet were directly under the mass of the cow, as I imagine they might be, perhaps the cow's great weight propped on its thin legs might actually add to the likelihood that the cow would tip, if pushed abruptly with some force. Try standing with your feet together and have someone push from the side; then try the same push with your feet spread apart - you will see what I am getting at.
As to the gun issue - I know of no farmer near us who would shoot someone who strayed onto his land. There were farmers who discharged shotguns in the air if they knew a bunch of kids were fooling with their 'investment', but in my time this usually referred to raiding watermelon fields, not bothering cows. In most cases this was after something happened repeatedly and the farmer was more or less laying in wait for the offenders. I have heard of rock salt being used in this case, and the kids always thought it was aimed at them (at night you can't really tell where the gun is aimed if you are not hit), but I never heard of anyone being hit, and with a shotgun, one would think someone might have been if that was the farmer's intent. Farmers usually knew what was up, and also pretty much who was doing it - it was a small town, as are most towns with lots of cows around, and no farmer wanted to start a long quarrel with his neighbors. I can not imagine a farmer - particularly one with the weapon-sense of a hunter - which most farmers used to be, in part, just shooting at someone he saw approaching his cattle - most farmers I knew would shout, and at most call the cops.
As to the 'right' of an American to defend his property with a gun, that varies by state. I would not want to chance shooting a trespasser on my farm in the hope I could get off scot-free for defending my property. An intruder in the house is one thing, a trespasser on the land is another - hard call as to what the legal consequences would be once you got to court. The farmer that defends his property by shooting first and asking questions later is usually as big a bulls--ter as the guy who says he was cow-tipping, at least. It is a macho pose usually. Those who actually DO practice this are usually farming marijuana, not cows - and the result can be to attract attention where it is best left unattracted.
As to the pound being worth more than a dollar - I am not sure if this proves or disproves the truth to cow-tipping, but I recall that in 1974 when I was in Zambia, the Kwacha was worth US $1.57 or so, and there was no real big rush to switch money from dollars to kwacha. For many years one pound equaled 4 dollars, and now the difference is much less. this could make an argument that ONE of the two currencies is less stable. The relative value of one currency to another is just what a government declares it is, and is relatively meaningless. If the average Brit earns as many pounds a week for a job that a Yank earns dollars for the same job, then the pound is truly superior. But if that is not the case, then the idea that one is 'worth more' than the other is pretty pointless. Sure I'd rather have 100 pounds than 100 dollars, but would I rather have the average Brit salary than the average American one? I'd have to check on it. As to who has the more poor people, again does the amount of poverty determine the likelihood of cow-tipping being possible? (Would the poorer nation have more cow-tipping because of class hatred, or would the richer country have more cow-tipping because of the unruly and bored kids that wealth seems to breed?)
As to racism, I have personally witnessed people from both the US and UK making grossly outrageous racist remarks. Indeed the fact that a disagreement about cow-tipping escalated into ethnic slurs against the Brits and Yanks so quickly leads me to think that the houses on both sides are decidedly silicon-based.

And one more thing: I don't believe most farmers keep a bull with their cows (we didn't) and if they do, it is not as a watch-dog (nudge-nudge),

This sight about cow tipping is a bunch of BULL SHIT! did I spell that correctly?I'm from Chicago ya know.

I tend to disagree as cow tipping is something that my friends and I came up with in 1982, and I know for a fact it is not a Urban Legend. So please do not state it as one. Now, where I agree that it was a stupid and childish prank, we were young in a small town and very bored looking for some fun, and we got carried away,I have no idea how the concept got out and around. I would say being much older now that it's not a good idea to try it because nine times out of ten someone is going to get hurt. Plus now it is a felony in most states. But by no means an urban legend.Believe me or not I am just telling you what I know to be fact!!!!
jkilkenny