h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

With the invention of the Universal Peace Programme to which all races and creeds in the multiverse put their signatures. It was believed that aggravation and suffering was a thing of the past. Centuries went by before someone bothered to check life on that feeble planet called Earth. What they saw, frankly astonished them. Whilst the entire universe had grown up and forgotten their differences, the inhabitants of south Hampshire, England, had taken over the whole of the United Kingdom and divided the territory into the northern lands for the Scump tribe and the southern lands for the Pomp tribe. These two distict races, the Scumps with their awful drawls, limps and strange ways, and the Pomps with their beautiful looks and clever ideas, continued to fight it out for the next 200 years before the Earth was demolished for the second time by a violent sneeze from a space monkey (q.v.)