h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Takes off his trenchcoat and hands it to the butler. He then pulls a snowzar and polka gun out of his pocket, pulls out his sword, and takes off his OmeGauntlet which he hands to the butler*

Thank you, thank you very much. I would have left my weapons at home, but I have a tendancy to follow trouble around, and thought I may need these on the trip back. Oh, and keep track of that sword with extra care. It's the Sword of Zork, and quite possibly the fourth best blade in the known Zork universe (next to Grueslayer, the blade of Krill, and the Sword of Korfozzle). I'm loathe to let it out of my sight, but I've lost it and uncovered it again enough times to know it'll always show up again somehow.

Anyway, now that I'm here, where are the other guests staying?

*overloaded with weapons, Lord R takes them and puts them in the safe, except the sword of Zork, which he places in a lockable display case made of that transparent aluminum (or whatever) from Star Trek that can't be broken.* The guests are, for the moment, in the sitting room, awaiting your arrival, and that of two other guests. *checks list* An Asteroid Lil and a Minos Krymla. I believe you are acquainted with each. I'll lead you to the sitting room http://www.h2g2.com/F57089?thread=85708&skip=0&show=20 .

Yes, I''m aquainted with them. No idea when they'll show up, though. Anyway, thank you for being careful with my sword.

*Goes to the room*

*A dragon-like animal charges up the hill, stopping at the front door. It lowers itself to the ground, allowing Minos Krylma, dressed in a tuxedo, to jump to the ground. KL motions to the dragon which ambles off to some place where it may pass time, as KL walks to the door and pushes the door bell. When he pushes it, it sounds like someone is screaming*

My, what an odd doorbell.

*A hackney cab pulled by a black gelding arrives at the portico*
*Asteroid Lil, Venerable One of Continuity, is helped down by the driver, who accepts payment with a respectful touch of his flat cap*

Lil, who is wearing her favourite sari of midnight blue with gold embroidery along the edges, steps up to the entrance and pulls a bell-rope*

It reminds me of an Edward Gorey drawing, this place.

*BONGGGGGGGGG!*

So, Lil, how are you on this rainy evening? This could provide a nice fog tomorrow morning.

*trying to conceal her distaste for the Krylma*
Good evening.

*Notices Lil's look of dislike, but decides to not comment on it. Wonders if he should mention that it's only Amy and Styx he currently has any personal dislike against, but decides it may not be good for him to begin ranting and raving about the genocide in another forum. Instead, he just looks around, impatiently waiting. He decides to ring the doorbell again*


ZZZZAP! ZZZZAP!


I really must get a bell like this for my home.

*pulls pashmina shawl higher around her shoulders*

*Taps feet impatiently*

*huffing and puffing, Stavro, the butler, comes to the door and opens it.*

I'm sorry, Sir, and Madame, it's just that, well, I thought someone was screaming, and then more odd noises. I really do need to have the house keeper look at this some time. The bell is just driving me batty.

Won't you both come in out of the rain. Oh, your shawl is all wet, may I take that madame? And sir, that coat? Any weapons to check, either of you? Or shall I lead you directly in to join the other guests. Your arrivals complete the company and I'm sure dinner will be ready soon.

Thank you.
*walks through the foyer, centering the sapphire-like jewel at her throat*

*Goes through the motions of removing his invisible raincoat, and hands it to the butler. He also hands the butler a snowzar and his sword*

That sword was welded by the Dark Elves of Midkemia. It took me centuries to locate it, so please do not let any ill befall it. Thank you.

*Looks around the room, appreciating the architecture and decorational choices*

A fine demesne that Reflection has chosen to entertain guests with. In case you see him before I do, make sure to mention my gratitude to him. I sometimes forget that.

*Hears voices of people in another room, and decides to go and see if he can locate where everyone else is waiting*

*Stavro puts away coat, locks snowzar in the safe, and places the blade in a display case identical to the one the Zorkish blade was placed in, but on the opposite side of the door. Anyone facing the door can now appreciate both blades equally.*

*A porcupine-like biped walks up to the front door, his personal shield shimmering n the rain. He deactivates his shield and takes the device off his belt, then pulls an anti-proton blaster from an unseen area in his cloak.*

Greetings. I was told that all weopons would be checked at the door. Please take them quickly, I am getting wet.

*Turns to the curry delivery boy*

I overheard your conversation. Although I do not know what a curry is, it sounds delicious, and I have some telepathic friends. Perhaps it is for me. Stranger things have happened.

Oh, dear, it seems you have gone. Perhaps you were simply a reflection of the past. I do have some latent telepathic abilities, though not anything like those of my friends..

*Stavro opens the door*

Er, sir, I'm sorry, but you are not on the guest list. Is there... some reason you've called?

*Due to an unfortunate accident in another forum, Stavro ceases to exist. Michelle, the French Maid, takes his place*

Good evening, Michelle. I believe I'll be going now. The meal was delicious, please pass my compliments to the chef.

Incidently, there's been an accident in the sitting room that needs to be tidied up.

*Suddently the door swings shut -- not moved by any visible hand -- and locks itself... no one can come in or out!*