h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*As you approach the front door, you notice that the whole place looks like something out of a bad mystery film. Something by Agatha Christie, perhaps. A butler answers the door.*

Butler: Welcome to Illusion Hall. Who may I say is calling?

[Pulls a crumpled invitation out of his jeans pocket, shakes some crumbs out of it and hands it to the butler without comment]

Ah, Master Peet, you are the first of the guests to arrive. May I take your coat? Do you have any weapons I may check? I'm afraid that no weapons will be allowed tonight.

[Peet hands over a water pistol and a handful of rubber bands]
"That's my lot."

[Mew materializes, says] Mew! [, floats up to the door, and hovers there a moment]


Just so I'll know now, is there a piano of any kind in the house? If it's electronic, is it on?

Butler: Thank you, Master Peet. Your arms will be kept in this safe here

*The butler opens a safe, and puts the weapons inside*

Master Mew, there is a grand piano in the sitting room. If the two of you will like to wait there until the rest of the guests, and indeed, your host, have arived, you may do so. Shall I lead you there?

Oh, and Master Mew, do you have any weapons?

*A French Maid enters from another room, and whispers in the Butlers left ear, then leaves in the direction she came from* Butler: Oh, of course. Master Mew, I have just been notified of your RSVP. You, of course, do not have any weapons I could deprive you of. *The butler closes the safe* Now, if you two will both be so kind, and follow me to the sitting room http://www.h2g2.com/F57089?thread=85708&post=692198

~A horse drawn carraige pulls up to the mansion. A tall figure, dressed in black Victorian clothes, wearing a black cape and his best Red Skull mask, comes to the door and rings the bell~

Din-dong din-dong

I hope this rain doesn't ruin my suit.

* The butler enters from the Sitting Room.*

Butler: Ah, you must be Master Masque. Delighted to meet you, sir. May I have any weapons you may be carrying? Of course you understand I am checking everyone's arms.

*Indicates safe*

*Oh, yes, and the butler opened the door to the Masque before he said all of that*

~Red lays on top of the safe an ornate pistol, a knife with a bone handle inlaid with rubies, and a package of gunpowder. He steps forward, remembers, and removes the blade hidden in his cane, and lays that on top of the safe, as well.~

Where are the others?

Butler: They are all in the sitting room. You may follow the link above, if you wish to join them

*A knock at the door. UH stands, dressed in his traditional tux and bow tie. Elegantly turned out. He waits.*

*the Masque's weapons have been secured within the safe, and the butler has been conversing with Master Peet in the sitting room. He now re-enters the entry way, and opens the door to Uncle Heavy*

Ah, your tuxedo is excellent, Master Heavy. Won't you come in out of that storm? Ah, I see that you somehow managed to avoid getting wet. Yes. May I have your jacket? Any weapons you have on you? Don't worry, no one else is armed, and all the weapons are secure.

*indicates safe*

*A wolf discretely circles the house, sniffing. It then approaches the front door and shakes, spraying water in all directions. The wolf transforms into human form, completely dry. GL is dressed in his customary gray 19th century suit with blue silk cravat, top hat and 4-layer cloak. He carries his trademark ebony cane with the gold wolf's head handle. He rings the door bell.*

Bing Bong.

*UH peers at the butler disdainfully.*
I, my good man, am no mere 'master'. My full name is Lord Montague Heavy VI. But don't worry about it. I carry no weapons, except the adamntium claws implanted in my body, wolverine style. They cannot, sadly be removed, but I can have them magnetically locked.
*Steps through, allowing GL to follow*

*A white moped pulls up by the front door, and a man wearing a motorcycle helmet and carrying a white plastic bag leaps off and runs to the door before UH closes it*

*out of breath*

Did... did someone order a curry?

Butler: Ah, my mistake, Lord Heavy. I was not informed of your full name, indeed, I do not believe the master knew your full title. You may follow the others into the sitting room, if you like.

*turns to Garius Lupus*

Ah, good sir. You are, I trust, unarmed? Except your claws, understandably. I have noticed quite a good deal of 19th century clothing around. I believe that his lordship Lord Blackstone, also known as the Masque was dressed similarly, and my Master looks vaguely like Sherlock Holmes. Anyway, if there are no weapons, I'll take your coat, and you may leave your beautiful cane at the door, or take it with you. You may also follow the others into the Sitting room (there's a link above)

Butler: Hm. I was not aware of an order, but perhaps if you show me your delivery liscence, I can show you in to the guests and see if any of them ordered anything.

*produces licence*

I dunno, guv, I was just told to deliver a curry to this address..