h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm not necessarily going to write a big introduction to this journal page, but rather I'm going to get right into the nitty-gritty of it and just type.

Today I went to a wedding. Simple huh? What an act it is though! I felt almost schizophrenic at times- teetering between tears, happiness and my own wishing sighs. Love. It is the most human feeling, something that humans (and perhaps others!) have pondered on since time began. It is really something when it is brought sharply into focus, and one is forced to examine their own ideals of it. I was amazed not only by my own feelings tonight, but of those around me also. Ah, yes, love.

In my life, a meager eighteen years, I have found that there are three things at the core of every human soul. Sometimes people admit to them, sometimes not- but be assured, they are there. What, dear Becky are these three things? Religion, politics, and love. Boil a human down to it's very core, and bingo... that is what you get.

All conflicts, all sadness, all joy, they basically stem from these three- mind you I say that in a very broad sense. Call me old fashioned, but love to me is divine. When lying in the arms of someone who you 'love' it is nothing less than heaven. And, when you are denied this, it is hell. I don't know if you, the reader, believe in these things, but, for the sake of the post, go with me.

There is nothing more precious than love. Not gold, nor silver, gems, nor pearls... no, nothing like love. Would gold nurse a wound, or silver talk with you, could you ask gems for advice, or share your dreams with the pearls? Love, it is so much more than the romantic kind, but so often is looked at only in that form.

I know, and I doubt that any human would deny, they hunger for love. It is like air, without it, many of the things we do are useless. Where would someone be who did not have the love of their friends? I know I'd be very lonely. Also, where would our race be, if our forefathers (and mothers!) had not lain together, holding each other, brining into being a material form of their love?

Tonight I was able to see, and appreciate love. The binding of two people, the sharing of souls. What an amazing thing that is to me. I am in awe when I stand before it. To believe in someone enough to pledge that you will be there for him or her for the rest of your mortal years is something that I cannot even find the words to put it into. I am old enough, and wise enough now to appreciate love. I've known it and not known it. I've held its fire and cried its tears. I have taken care of, sacrificed and broken down in the name of it. I was flooded with so many memories of it tonight.

The ceremony was held in the courtyard of Old Saint George's church. It was surreal. Roses and a violin, set against a comfortable October sky. It was simple, and by every means, one, if not, the most beautiful wedding ceremonies I have ever attended. Sometimes I find myself in thought in ways that I usually do not. Something beautiful or majestic will trigger it. I am alone, God, and myself and it stirs my soul. Tonight was one of those times.

I really did not know the wedding couple, but looking onto the wedding, I went into silent ponders, just myself, and God. I first thanked him (or her, or whatever) for giving me what he has on the subject. Then I marveled for a bit, as words were said, I went into silent wishing. What an amazing thing it is. Perhaps, like I said, I am old fashioned when it comes to love, but who would not wish to become in a union like that?

I have experienced true, giving love perhaps once. No surprise, it was from my mother. Maybe this is where my ideals of servitude, patience, honesty and sacrifice come from. She is most incredible, but that is another story. I know that she is there for me, and I know she will put me first if needed. That, is the most powerful and wonderful love I have known.

I have known physical love, and I have known mental love. I thought I had a chance to be married. I thought that he loved me; I knew that I loved him. I wanted to be a part of him, to travel into him and to have him be a part of me. Well, needless to say, in the unpredictable cosmic scope of things, he dumped me a week later and that was that. Sometimes I wonder if I meant anything at all to him, or if he thinks of me, but, life does go on... and so does my love.

How do you know if you love someone? When do you realize that if they are not there, you miss them terribly? When do you know that they are your compliment? That they are your companion? That they will be what you need them to be- your lover, boyfriend/girlfriend, companion, husband/wife, father/mother, dishwasher, cook, literary critic etc...? When do you explain to a person that making love to them is like loosing yourself in them?

: Wistful sigh: I do not know, nor could I answer. I am still trying to figure out myself. Tonight though, watching two become one, and wishing them all the happiness and courage in the world; I know, that love, and everything it embodies, is something that all of my pain, loneliness and heartbreak could never overshadow. Until then, I will keep looking and keep my heart open, finding love in all of the little things. I hope that you will too.

If I were a guy i would so marry you...and I'd so do it still if Stan wouldn't kill me...*smooch*

your LL
Nessa