h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

These have been rattling around in my otherwise empty head for the past several days, so I thought if I deposited them here that might leave room in the aforementioned head for other things.


It's a great big universe
And we're all really puny
We're just tiny little specks
About the size of Mickey Rooney
(Animaniacs)

~and~

Stick shifts and safety belts
Bucket seats have all got to go
When we're driving in the car
It makes my baby seem so far
(Cake)


I'm sure I'll think of more. Feel free to post your own, if you like.

Spending warm summer days indoors,
Writing frightening verse,
To a buck-toothed girl in Luxembourg.

(The Smiths - 'Ask')

She will kiss your lips until they bleed,
But she will not take her dress off,
Americano.

(Regina Spektor - Sailor Song)

I saw two shooting stars last night.
I wished on them, but they were only satellites.
It's wrong to wish on space hardware.

(Billy Bragg - A New England)


etc. etc. etc.

Hey Punk, where you goin' with that flower in your hand?
Well, I'm goin' up to Frisco to join a psychedelic band.

And did you know if you were caught and you were smokin' crack,
McDonald's wouldn't even wanna take you back.
You could always just run for mayor of DC.

Good Charlotte - Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

Something German, and I even found a youtube video which I didn't know before.

Jetzt ist Sommer! (It's summer now)
Egal, ob man schwitzt oder friert: (No matter whether you sweat or freeze)
Sommer ist, was in deinem Kopf passiert. (Summer is what happens in your head)
Es ist Sommer! (It's summer now)
Ich hab das klargemacht: ( I made it clear
Sommer ist, wenn man trotzdem lacht..(Summer is when you laugh nevertheless...)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkG0SoeSW60

"I'll take the spokes from your wheelchair, and a magpie's wings,
And tie them to your shoulders and your feet.
I'll steal a hacksaw from my dad and cut the braces off your legs,
And we'll bury them tonight out in the cornfield."
Tom Waits - Kentucky Avenue

"Well things are pretty lousy for a calendar girl,
The boys just dive right off the cars and splash into the street.
And when they're on a roll she pulls a razor from her boot,
And a thousand pigeons fall around her feet."
Tom Waits - Time

"Weavin' home, leaving the little joint winking in the dark warm narcotic American night,
Beneath a pincushion sky."
Tom Waits - Putnam County

"Fishing for a good time starts with throwing in your line."
Tom Waits - New Coat of Paint

"Most vagabonds I knowed don't ever want to find the culprit
That remains the object of their long relentless quest.
The obsession's in the chasing and not the apprehending.
The pursuit you see, and never the arrest."
Tom Waits - A Foreign Affair

"You got it buddy - the large print giveth and the small print taketh away."
Tom Waits - Step Right Up

"Well the dawn cracked hard just like a bull whip,
'Cause it wasn't takin' no lip from the night before.
As it shook out the street the stew bums showed up,
Just like bounced checks, rubbin' their necks.
And the sky turned the colour of Pepto-Bismol."
Tom Waits - Spare Parts I (A Nocturnal Emission)

"You've gassed her up, you're behind the wheel,
With your arm around your sweet one, in your Oldsmobile.
Barrellin' down the boulevard,
You're looking for the heart of Saturday night."
Tom Waits - (Looking For) The Heart of Saturday Night

"And the early dawn cracks out a carpet of diamond,
Across a cash crop car lot filled with twilight Coupe Devilles.
Leaving the town in the keeping of the one who is sweeping,
Up the ghosts of Saturday night."
Tom Waits - The Ghosts of Saturday Night

"And the girl behind the counter has a tattooed tear,
"One for every year he's away" she said.
Such a crumbling beauty.
Ah, there's nothing wrong with her that a hundred dollars won't fix."
Tom Waits - 9th and Hennepin

"With tornado watches issued shortly before noon Sunday,
For the areas including the western region of my mental health,
And the northern portions of my ability to deal rationally
With my disconcerted precarious emotional situation."
Tom Waits - Emotional Weather Report

"He says that he loves me even though its not his baby.
He says that he'll raise him up like he would his own son.
He gave me a ring that was worn by his mother,
And he takes me out dancin' every Saturday night."
Tom Waits - Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis

The bloke's a poet - ain't no two ways about it.

*Note to Eds, Mods and the phantom yikeser: Not only do I believe the above to be fair use of copyright material, but Tom Waits is well-known for not being precious about people quoting his lyrics, taping his shows or trading the same as bootlegs.

When you trust your television
What you get is what you got
'Cause when they own the information
They can bend it all they want.
(John Mayer - Waiting on the World to Change)

I've decided I really like this song, even though I really bought the disk for 'Gravity'. It's an excellent disk, and I hadn't been a big Mayer fan before.

You will not be able to stay home, brother.
You will not be able to plug in, turn on and cop out.
You will not be able to lose yourself on skag and
Skip out for beer during commercials,
Because the revolution will not be televised.


The Revolution Will Not Be Televised - Gil Scott Heron

One nation under god has turned into
one nation under the influence of one drug
Television, the drug of the nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation

Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy