h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*floating in, in her usual vague, elf-like manner*

Greetings!

On behalf of the Guardian Angels , I'd like to welcome you to h2g2.
You mind find our New User's Guide helpful, found here:
http://www.h2g2.com/A352667

Please do not hesitate to ask me if you have any questions!
May the be with you...

*drifting off, in her usual v.e.l.manner*

(please forgive me this pre-recorded message, but at least I get around to greet newcomers, which I wouldn't, otherwise, I think...?)

Greetings and Welcome to H2G2!

I'm Phoenix, one of the ACEs here on H2G2.com. I saw that you were new here, so I thought I'd stop by and make sure you know we're glad you're here.

I see that you've already started making interesting connections here at H2G2. I was reading your post in one of the other discussion on your page and saw your ideas on how to treat customers. I used to work in Customer Service and I used to wish that there was a little button on the phones labeled "Electrocute" Zzzzzzap! No more angry customer. Since there is unfortunately no button on the phone labeled as such, I often find comfort in reading the section on the Great Telephone and Ventilation Riots of SrDt 3454 (Chapter 12, Mostly Harmless). I have to be carefull though, cause I have a habit of randomly screaming "Use BS&S and die!" afterwards, regardless of whether I'm on the phone, in the elevator, or outside having my smoke break.

If you need any help finding anything, on the site or in the books, please feel free to ask. In the meantime, you might want to check out the following pages for more information on the site ......

Newcomers Welcome page -=> http://www.H2G2.com/A5752
The World of H2G2 -=> http://www.H2G2.com/C572
ACEs homepage -=> http://www.H2G2.com/A214796
Who's Online? -=> http://www.H2G2.com/online
My Researcher Page -=> http://www.h2g2.com/U34835

Have a pleasant continued existance.

42!

Phoenix

^..^


PS - Greetings Titania I see you've changed the end of your greeting message .....

Yeah, customers can cause strange metamorphoses (what the hell is the plural here? *takes his really big and heavy dictionary* HAH! I was right! ...es is right. *grins slightly mad*) in the brain.
When *anyone* comes to me and says the german equivalence of 'excuse me...' i can hardly keep myself from shouting "NO! NO! I ZARKING DON'T EXCUSE WHATEVER STUPID QUESTION YOU'RE GOING TO ASK ME. GET THE ZARK OUT OF HERE!!"
ahem. got a bit excited here. very well.
bye

*floating in*

Hi!

Just wanted to say I'm sorry I couldn't think of how to personalize my greeting last night - it was turning very late, I was almost falling asleep, thinking 'I'll greet just one more newcomer, just one more...'

And then, when I was about to post, my mind turned completely blank. So I used the pre-recorded message, thinking it was better than no welcome at all...

Sorry! *smiling sweetly, hoping to be forgiven*

Hi Titania,
ohmygod, never mind, it's ok, really
This sounds like hard work! (which makes me shiver instantly )
But seriously, I don't think, that pre-recorded messages are a good approach. It creates an atmosphere that is a bit... well business-like. I'd rather have one standard message, which is sent by a Bot on the day of subscription with some links etc. and that should be it.
Just my opinion though.

have a nice day
bye

PS: there _is_ already a little bit of business-like feeling around h2g2, i think, e.g. DNA's site. The link to his shop in the really big font is, well, frankly - notsuchagoodidea.
But then again it might be OK, because the original Guide was damn sure shameless as well