h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have to go home in about 10 minutes cuz I have to buy me ticket today, so write soon. And if I dodn't receive your message today, then I'll write you tomorow. Take care, and toodaloo.

See you later and look after yourself xxx

Thank you, you too. Send me the e-mail and I'll read it tomorow. Byebye

Ok sweetie bye xxx

Think this chat has gone off the subject a little here. I'm really keen to here more about female masturbation too. Its not a topic you can broach easily. I've certainly known a few girls who have absolutely denied ever touching themselves. One girl I'd been going out with for more than a year and she had no reason to lie. My present girlfriend does and is pretty open about it but I haven't quite felt the occassion arise when I can ask details about how often, for how long. Is it stricly a quick one stop job or do you really work your self up for a while? I think for me and probably most bloke w*****g is seen as a means to an ends. Relieves sexual tension. Not bothered about it going on for ages. Just getting your rocks off.

I agree that things went seriously off-topic. Leanne 18 UK and Deni, could you please start a thread on one of your personal pages for discussion that only applies to you two? Every person who has commented on this thread has been alerted on their personal page each time one of you discussed your job, your email, or your schedule.

Now to Hersh's post. Some women really don't masturbate, and so I would assume your ex-girlfriends were telling you the truth. I have found that it is best to give someone the benefit of the doubt. If they did lie to you, it is because they have serious psychological hang-ups about maturbation that they *don't* want you to challenge.

Where men might have many things in common where masturbation is concerned, there is almost no generalization you can safely make about women's masturbation. Some women can orgasm in seconds; some take minutes; some take hours; some never orgasm at all. You must ask your girlfriend the questions if you want to know her answers.

If you are able to talk to your girlfriend about other sexual matters, you should be able to talk to her about masturbation too. There are lots of ways to do this. You might safely bring it up during foreplay, or during a frank discussion about turn-offs and turn-ons. If you have an occasion to be apart for a while, you might discuss what *you* will be doing about it -- and then ask what she plans on doing. My current mate simply asked me to show him one day....

Of course, she has no obligation to answer your questions if she doesn't want to. Some women prefer complete privacy where masturbation is concerned. They worry about feeling too self-conscious and being distracted from the act.

a possibly unrelated point,

men find female masturbation to be one of the biggest turn ons in the bedroom, women also find it the hardest thing to do in the bedroom (statistically) this is partly due to the individualtiy of the act, and the fear of being watched in the most personal of acts.

Sorry everyone, didn't mean to bore you. Were gone.

Don't worry about it, Deni.

I disagree with you about masturbation being the hardest thing for women to do in the bedroom, Mr. Muddle. In fact, many sex therapists routinely deal with women's sexual dysfunction by coaching them into masturbating alone. Why? Because the woman has can put aside as much time as she wants to learn her body, and she doesn't have to worry about anxiety fears because she is the only one there.

Women have trouble with sex and orgasms in general. Men like to believe that their girlfriends always enjoy sex with them, and women have been coached to lie to them when this isn't true. The reality is that even fewer women can orgasm during standard penetration than can orgasm from masturbation.

This is partly the result of old sexual mores dominating modern women, and partly the result of a lack of readily available information and the special challenges of having a body that responds differently from everyone else's.

I had a gentle probe (no pun intended) of my girlfriends habits this weekend. She's totally open, happy in herself and really well adjusted so I think she finds it easier than most to discuss. Incidently as far as frequency goes she falls into the same camp as me. To quote her perfectly phrased summary

"Sometimes every night, sometimes not. Depends how tired I am"

I think like many taboos if people talked about this more we'd all be better off. I think the older generation wouldn't like it to start with but its partly that disapproving attitude that gives people problems. There's no sin and nothing to be ashamed of here. Its unfortunate that this subject can still only be whispered.

As a brief digression, think how many words there are in common parlance for the male genitalia that could be used in everyday conversation (calling someone a nob, a dick etc) and how few words for the female equivilent could be used in the same circumstances. Using the 'c' word is considered incredibly offensive (I've just realised that this word is the only one that I haven't written out in full, it seems I don't have the courage of my convictions!!). Are we supposed to deduce from this that the female sexual organs are more 'offensive' than the male? I for one think this discrepency should be tackled.

I do, pretty frequently, and can (now somewhat famously) come to orgasm in 45 seconds. The thing is, the way in which I masturbate bears almost no relation to what happens when you're with someone else.

It can, if you have a partner willing to abandon their preconceptions and give you what you need...

Its interesting how all the women are admitting it here but they don't when you talk about it in person.

Who are 'they?'

I would bet that every woman who stated that she masturbates in this thread would also tell their sexual partner the truth if asked. I would, and have before. Of course, many women would not tell complete strangers, fair weather friends, or their mothers-in-law that they masturbate. But that's because it's a very personal question.

Other women will not admit that they masturbate. But those women simply won't reply to this thread.

I feel safe in saying that both types of women exist. Any experience you have with the women in your life has to do with them, and them alone. Please do us all a favor and don't lump women into one big homogenous 'they.'

Sorry, I didn't mean to get you upset, when I say they I mean all my close friends. Out of about 10-15 very close female friends I have only 1 of them admits to it.

Seems to me that there are three camps that people fall into regarding masturbation;
1. Those that don't
2. Those that do and admit it
3. Those that do and don't admit it (or at least don't deny it)
I reckon most men fall the second camp but I'm really not sure when it come to women what the ratios are. Do almost all women do it (does Thira Hird?), is it a generational thing where people raised since the 60s are ok with it and those before aren't?

I suspect that the older a woman is, the less likely she is both to masturbate and to admit she masturbates. Women are still recovering from outdated Victorian-era morals that basically condemned any woman who enjoys sex -- much less sex without a male around! It seems that each successive generation is a little more distanced from those pressures.

I don't think anyone knows what percentage of women really masturbate. What are you going to do, take a poll? That doesn't work, since women are most likely to lie to strangers. Observe women? You would have to invade a lot of women's privacy to get a fair sample. Otherwise, you will have to get women to sign consent forms. And, of course, the ones who lie about their behavior are exactly the ones that will refuse to sign.

In the end, what difference does it really make? What 'most women' do has no bearing on your girlfriend, wife, mother, sister, or daughter. There really isn't a right or wrong way to be when it comes to masturbation. It's as ridiculous as starting an argument with your sexual partner because they don't have sex with you as often as the 'average' couple.