h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

mucho

there is no sleep for you, mic. it's like a bad horror movie "the man who cannot sleep" but I suppose it is my own fault and I'll just have to deal with it,..

poo, now you must be wary of sleeping at very inadequaaaaaaate times... zzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzz zzzzzzzz snorfel zzzzzz

no it's good. my hours are now orientated so I can sleep at work and make the most of life outside

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzurkel snurf snurf fart zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

admirable that you make the best of that boring time you use to get moola. i find sleeping through life annoying but i find myself doing it anywhow.

sim! sleep is for the weak. (actually I feel like I could sleep for a week!!)
just a little nap on my keyboard. no one will see. no one will get hurt. ahhhhh.

snorfle snorfle

drools on keyboard. electrifies eyeballs and nasal cavity.

similar to what happened to oedipus, tiresias and paul atreides, you'll be a martyred soul. does this mean i can finally be an apostle or something similarly elevating in rank?

don't worry I'm not martyred - just blackened and wired for data transferral. scary.
I'm inside the machine...

anyway yes you can have the honourary title of chief apostle in charge of stoking the royal hookah bong.

My thanks king hookah.
*Imaldris takes first honorary toke of hookah, inhales deeply, holds it in for as long as possible to savor the memorable moment..then violently coughs herself into extra stoniness*

pats chief hookah-stoker on the back good naturedly, and then magnanimously inhales a kingly toke, grins, erupts in even more harsh coughing action and bales off to the kingly kitchen to get a glass of water.

ROUND 2

imaldris tries to take another hit before full recovered, rehash of previous segment. this could go on for years

it could. however, Ac-1D has discovered the cause of the problem was the inferior weed which had been substituted with the tendrilous coromandel buds - that Ac-1D normally ensures are well stocked in the kingly larder - by enemies of the state (meaning of course the state of extreme stonage).
having retrieved the royal buds and handed them to hookah stoker by royal appointment, the right honourable sirdlami renots din, the sesh is able to proceed with much more decorum.

* a joyous imaldris now takes a toke, and finds it fabulous in its quality, the kid of kindbud that makes your head even clearer than normal but vaguely trippy, she beams happily at King Ac-1D, thanks him profusely and passes it on, ceremoniously her eyes dreamily glossed over in her head*

"hmmmm this virtual smoking is no where near as good as the real thing, even from such a magnificent, gilded indian barrel hookah as this." takes extraordinarily large virtual toke, eyes bulge, finally breaks the cyber-mental barrier and experiences real life stonage from virtual tokage...