h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I was bigger than the couch when i was eight, so i was more of a tree person...

.. untill i found i was deadly allergic to them when i became a bike person...

...then i was hit by a car.


mmmm crunch.

See?!? You should join us in smoking Crack™.

Strangely when my friends and I were kids we progressed from jumping out of trees to jumping out of the 2nd floor of houses, how on earth we didn't break anything, I think that rolling landing technique must have really worked somehow

It really does. Andy and I were talking last night and he had a cherry tree in his backyard that apparently had a great swinging branch on it. Well, he and his friends decided to see how many kids they could get on it so all six of them grabbed the branch. (this was the first day of summer holiday). Well the branch (predictably) broke and all five of the kids landed on one unfortunate boy (I believe his name was Simon) and Simon had to spend the entire summer holiday in a body cast for broken collarbones.

It's a lot funnier when he tells it.

So, we've learned the kids remain whole when leaping out of tall trees or hurtling from second story windows, but break when landed on by 5 other kids.

*writes it down*

So the secret is to always be on top.

Um, wait. That sorta sounds...oh well. *submits it anyway*

I'm proud of you for submitting that.

Brave boy.

*walks out in search of a less violent forum*

*calls out* GOOD LUCK! *and punches beetle in the back of the head*

Well, if you won't jump out of it...*throws a tree at beetle*

*catches tree and puts her down*

You ought to be more careful with your aussies, J.

Ooh, good point. *goes off looking for a suitable bush*

Oh Spartus is VERY careful with his asses...he handles them very VERY carefu.... okay. I'll stop now. It's just that butts appear to be a trend lately.

I'm sure we won't hear the 'end' of this one soon.

But...

And, as usual, bringing up the rear.... Spartus.

*goes off to the farm to smell the dairy air*

Bum.

Oh, so you think that's the end of it, huh? I'll get to the bottom of this, I will.

I'm sure we'll have a laugh when all this is behind us.