h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Subject: Sincere request, please reply !


Dear friend,

I wish to plead with you to join me in not only serving humanity, but to also benefit in the process. This message could be strange but reality will definitely dawn on you, if you pay some attention to its contents. Please accept my sincere apologies in bringing this message to you; I have to say that I do not intend to cause you any personal pains or discomfort.

I am Mr. Jonson Tubman, former Special Assistant to the Liberian President, Mr. Charles Taylor, who just stepped down from the office of the President due to rebel's insurgency who wants to overthrow his government. President Charles Taylor, in his bid to fend-off rebel insurgency, and since he could no longer trust the army generals, confidentially put in my care, the sum of $18,000,000.00 (eighteen million United States dollars) in one instance for the purpose of purchasing arms and ammunitions should the need arise. However, unfortunately, the need did not arise as he has gone on exile. I deposited the US$18 million in a trunk box in a secret location and just the two of us knew about it, and I could not get in touch with any arms dealer before the President was indicted in a war crime tribunal set up by the United Nations (UN). I have since held on to this trunk box, which I was able to transport out of Liberia with the aid of peace keeping soldiers under the guise of conveying my personal effects without anybody knowing, to a security deposit company.

I am presently in Africa, where I now work as a consultant on inter-regional co-operation. I have borne the burden for too long. I do not want to keep the funds any longer, but I can never turn it over to the brutal and tyrannical rogue regime of Mr. Charles Taylor who is still committing all sorts of atrocities on the Liberian people. I am NOT soliciting for your help to wage a war against the regime, but to act as a foreign partner, to allow me transfer the funds to you, which you will in turn donate a portion of it as a humanitarian gesture to the Liberian people by purchasing such essential needs like blankets, milk and so on, water-pumping machines and agricultural equipment, from the money after deducting your expenses and the commission of 20%.

Please note that I could have approached the Red Cross Society, but I changed my mind on that after calculating what they would deduct as commission, and also, after rationalizing the scandal that followed their mismanagement of the donations meant for the victims of the September 11th attack on the United States.

Also, note that this offer will give you a double-edged advantage:
1. As the benefactor of the Liberian people and;
2. The commission you stand to earn.

On getting a positive response from you, I will send to you the secret access codes to the funds and the security and vault company. Please note that confidentiality and honesty are fundamental rules in this transaction. Be assured that I am a reputable personality in this country and I am mindful of the legal implications of this transaction, as I intend taking care of all the legal documentations for a successful and hitch-free transaction. You will be expected to take delivery of this fund personally from the deposit company in Europe.

I am therefore soliciting your assistance to have this money collected by you and/or facilitate the transfer into your nominated account(s). ***PLEASE NOTE THAT YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY IN THIS TRANSACTION IS HIGHLY REQUIRED. I will give you the details of this transaction on receipt of your response to this proposal. Thank you very much for your time and understanding.

Yours sincerely,

Mr. Jonson Tubman

If anyone would like to know how to make money from this sort of e-mail they might like attend the 3rd Annual Nigerian E-Mail Conference, details at http://j-walk.com/other/conf/index.htm

Unfortunately I don't like crickets for breakfast.

Of course this was a *serious* request, sent to you by a *close* friend, who chose your name at random along with as many other names as could be put on a single emailing, right?

Breakfast sounded good to me.

Perhaps the cricket is for picking your teeth.

Thank you, Happy. I've long been entertained by the Nigerian email scheme, but you've put it in sharp perspective for me now.

By the way, my father died mysteriously and tragically years ago and left a large sum of money to me in an old dirty pillowcase. Unless I can find a foreign beneficiary to take this large sum off of my hands, the goons in Congress will tax me blind and send my entire family to exile in Texas, where, as everyone knows, there are death penalties for tax evasion and double parking.

Would you happen to have a UK bank account into which I could deposit my lump?

they also do this on fax. i was giggling at them the whole time.
why would you send something like that to a KINKOS?
*rolls eyes*
-Pete

Has anyone actually replied to this? And if so, what happened?

I just found this one intresting in that they have kept abreast of current affairs and "moved" to Liberia ... as for the conferance, I'm sure it is genuine

Undoubtedly.


















In spite of the little disclaimer at the bottom of the page....

Subject: Good Day Four Joseph


Good Day,

You may be suprise to receive this email since you do not know me.
I am the son of the late president of Democratic Republic Of
Zaire,President Mobutu Sese Seko, ( now The Republic Of Congo, under
the leadership of the son of Mr. Laurent Kabila ). I presume you are
aware there is a financial dispute between my family ( THE MOBUTU ) and
the present civilian Government. This is based on what they believe as bad
and corrupt governance on my late father's part. May his soul rest in
perfect peace.As you might have heard how a lot of my father's bank
account in Switzerland and North America have been frozen.
Following the above named reasons, I am soliciting for your humble and
confidential assistance to take custody of THIRTY Million United States
Dollars ( US$30,000,000.00 ), also to front for me in the areas of
business you desire profitable.
These funds have secretly been deposited into a confidential Security
Company, where it can easily be withdrawn or paid to a recommended
beneficiary. The funds will be released to you by the Security Company,
based on my recommendations, on that note, you will be presented as my
partner who will be fronting for me and my family in any subsequent
ventures. Myself and my mother have decided to give 20% to you if you
are able to help us claim this consignment.We have also decided to give
you any money spent on phone calls or travelling expenses in the course of
this transaction.
Please, I need your entire support and co-operation for the success of
this transaction, your utmost confidentiality and secrecy is highly
required, due to my family's present predicament.
I sincerely will appreciate your willingness to assist us as soon as
possible.
I am presently in the refugee camp here in the Netherlands under the
united nations refugee camp in Netherlands and I can be reached on
phone number +31-645-246-626 or via email [email protected]
more information on how we can proceed in this transaction.
Please indicate your interest by sending your telephone and fax numbers
or call me up at anytime. I sincerely will appreciate your
acknowledgement as soon as possible.
Warmest regards,

Joseph Mobutu Sese-Seko